My mum pointed this out in the papers today:
“One in five UK couples on verge of break up: Polls”
Ah, more happy stories in the news. The more you read, the more incredulous it sounds. According to a recent poll (they always say that, don’t they?), sex, infidelity, abuse and falling out of love are the primary reasons for a divorce.
And in true male fashion, guess what the boys are saying about the biggest factor in a marriage breakdown? Lack of sex.
I find this a really disturbing trend. One in five? I bet 40 years ago, it was something like one in 50. And the reasons for a marital breakdown are getting pettier. “He doesn’t buy me flowers…”, “She doesn’t understand why I need a guy’s night out…”, “He’s so boring!”, “She’s put on so much weight.”
I’m not married myself but I do believe in the sanctity of marriage and during a time where marriages come and go as quickly as my ex-boyfriend (haha), I still have faith that these unions can last. My dad says that my generation gives up too easily. “Divorce is so easy these days,” he laments. I agree. We DO give up too easily. Nobody fights the good fight anymore. However, let me make it clear the one ground for divorce I do support is abuse – no qualms on this. But even then, I know of couples who have actually pulled through an abusive relationship through therapy and reconciliation. Hats off to them because truth be told, I probably couldn’t do it.
But back to the news report. One in four divorcees admitted they had doubts about the solidity of the coming union as they walked down the aisle. Let this be a lesson, ladies. Please don’t confuse the excited butterflies in your stomach with the sickening realization that you don’t really love that man standing at the altar.
And the poll also found some evidence of the notorious ‘seven-year itch’: The average length of time for people to realize whether their marriage works or not was seven years three months. Now, this scares me. Seven years to figure out ‘gee oh my, this isn’t working out’? Still, I have to admit, sometimes only time will tell. But nothing is going to work out without a little bit of effort from both parties. If at the end of the day I did my best and the shit still hit the fan…What more can I say?
Love is a gamble. Heck, LIFE is a gamble. Everyone has their fair share of chips. You choose your table, place your bets and cross your fingers. Sometimes you win, other times you watch someone sweep your life savings away. Then again, the higher the stakes, the bigger the win. And sometimes, it’s a chance you have to take.
"God bless you. You make me feel brand new."
-You Make Me Feel Brand New, Simply Red. Great song.