Friday, April 29, 2005

i want i want i want

I think our generation is too ambitious. Don't get me wrong. I think ambition is a good thing. But i've been thinking of the unnecessary stress we put upon ourselves. It's the constant search for that ultimate job, in hopes of a high salary, so we can afford that nice car and fancy condo, where we can raise our children, who will attend only the best schools and excel in music/sports/origami, and then proceed to be lawyers, doctors and engineers. Bleh. And twice a year, we get to travel to some exotic location so we come back and boast about it to our less-priviliged (read: happy with their simple lives, non-money grabbing, anti-designer label wearing) friends.

Oh and i forgot to mention that this should all be ideally achieved by/before/at the age of 30.

Maybe i'm exagerrating. Maybe I think too much. Maybe lunch time is approaching and i don't know how else to deal with my hunger. Thing is, I'm a bit tired of planning for the 'perfect' future these days. Pursuing my postgraduate, buying a house, getting a better car, looking for a higher-paying job... It never ends. Whatever happened to 'come what may'? Ok, granted, we all need to plan some things at some point. But i think our generation is obsessed with the notion of having/doing it all as soon as possible. Sometimes we just want too much, too soon. And hey, like i said, a little ambition isn't a bad thing but when your whole life begins to revolve around 'I want, I want, I want', it's time to take a reality check.

I'm gonna stop doing that. Let's face it: Whatever we make, it's never enough. When you have what you want, you'll always want more. Maybe it's a new economic principle (that supply/demand one was getting old anyway). I'm gonna stop house-hunting because truth is, i don't make reasonably enough to buy one yet. And my postgraduate? It's not a priority. A better car? Mine will do for now (i need to get rid of that squeaking sound though). A husband and 2.5 kids? If it's meant to happen, it will (if not, there's always Haha). And yeah, who doesn't want a higher-paying job? But right now, i work with people who have become my friends, i get to travel, write and on Fridays, i get 2 and half hours for lunch. Life's good. Right now, my short-term plans include buying bread so i can make sandwiches for my deep-sea fishing trip tomorrow. Oh and I need to buy a new toothbrush.

What's that song again? Oh yeah: Que sera, sera...

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Me samurai


You are a Samurai.
You are full of honour and value respect. You
are not really the stereotypical hero, but you
do fight for good. Just in your own way. For
you, it is most certainly okay to kill an evil
person, if it is for justice and peace. You
also don't belive in mourning all the time and
think that once you've hit a bad stage in life
you just have to get up again. It's pointless
to concentrate on emotional pain and better to
just get on with everything. You also are a
down to earth type of person and think before
you act. Impulsive people may annoy you

Main weapon: Sword
Quote: "Always do the right thing.
This will gratify some people and astonish the
rest" -Mark Twain
Facial expression: Small smile

What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]
brought to you by

Colour me pretty.

The Luscher Colour Test ( Here's what it said about me:

PROBLEM UNDERLYING THE PRESENT STRESS -- The fear that he may be prevented from achieving the things he wants leads him to play his part with an urgent and hectic intensity.

DESIRED OBJECTIVE -- Preoccupied with things of an intensely exciting nature, whether erotically stimulating or otherwise. Wants to be regarded as an exciting and interesting personality with an altogether charming and impressive influence on others. Uses tactics skillfully so as to avoid endangering his chances of success or undermining others confidence in himself.

CURRENT INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR -- Believes that he is not receiving his share -- that he is neither properly understood nor adequately appreciated. Feels that he is being compelled to conform, and close relationships leave him without any sense of emotional involvement. (this is inappropriate behaviour? Hmm.)

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

i like this. Posted by Hello

A very annoyed fridaycat. Posted by Hello


I am annoyed because the magazine should be done but it's not.

I am annoyed because it's so hot outside.

I am annoyed because I received an annoying letter in the mail saying i have to show up in court eventhough it has nothing to do with me (don't ask).

I am annoyed because construction work is still going on and i can hear them drilling and knocking all day long. Shut up you bastards.

I am annoyed because my throat is sore and i don't know why.

I am annoyed because I'm getting hungry.

I am annoyed because Lester cancelled our lunch plans to do work. Yawn.

I am annoyed because there are still five hours to go before i get to leave the office.

I am annoyed because I am now OFFICIALLY hungry.

I am annoyed because i don't know what i want for lunch and i know whatever i have, i will STILL be annoyed with my choice.

I am annoyed because I had a bad dream and it's still annoying me.

I am annoyed because I haven't found my not-too-tall, not-so-dark and handsome knight in shining armour who will whisk me away from all my annoyances and build me my own shopping mall where I can shop to my heart's content.

I am annoyed because my nails look horrible.

I am annoyed because David Duchovny should never have left The X-Files.

I am annoyed because it's Tuesday and the weekend is still a bloody four days away. Wait, i have to work this Saturday...

Shit, now i'm really annoyed.

"My shadow's the only one who walks beside me..."
-f****** annoying song by Green Day. Boulevard of Broken Dreams.

Monday, April 25, 2005

To the tip and back.

I spent three days at Kudat. We organized the Sunset Symphony – basically someone’s bright idea (which usually means, we do the dirty work) to invite the KK Orchestra to perform at the Tip of Borneo, in Kudat. It was the first time the orchestra performed outdoors so it was quite a challenge, logistics and all. Plus, some of the musicians were so annoying that I wanted to chuck them and their squeaky violins out the bus half the time.

It’s a three-hour drive (another hour from Kudat town to the tip itself) and I’m not a big fan of long road trips. Especially when it’s with difficult and fussy people. “Aiyah so hot lah”, “Why the bus so smelly one?”, “Are we there yet?”. You get the pic. If they think they’re tired, they have no idea what it’s like to babysit 80 whiny musicians who think life is unfair because caviar isn’t served on the bus. Ok la, granted there were a handful of nice musicians who bothered responding to our ‘Good morning’. Ah well, you win some, you lose some.

As in other events, I’m usually in charge of the media people, which is cool because most of them are my ex-colleagues anyway. I told them the only off-limits area was the front of the stage, so they could take shots from anywhere else. They took that literally because the next thing I knew, I had a line of cameramen standing on top of the sound and lights truck! Anything that gets the job done I suppose.

So there we were, at the northern-most tip of Borneo (if you look at the dog-shaped map of Sabah, it’s right at the tip of the left ear). I have to admit, the view there is spectacular. Standing on the cliff, you can see the meeting point of the Sulu and South China Seas. And, interesting historical fact, Magellan stopped here to repair his damaged ships. But the natives also say it’s a sacred site so we have to be careful whenever we hold events there. Basically, as a sign of respect, we’ll always have a native priest or priestess conduct the necessary rituals to appease the spirits a week before the event. They do some chanting, slaughter some chickens and chant some more. It might sound like a bunch of hullabaloo to some people but we know better than to mess with the natives and their beliefs.

Anyway, we worked under the blazing sun two days in a row. It was so hot that at times I felt like we were actually ON the bloody sun. Oh and did I mention our official uniform was black pants and black shirts? Why not just make us wear a winter coat while we’re at it? At night, it was the usual boozing/card games session, while the rest of us channel surfed (who am I kidding, the hotel we stayed in had a total of 3 channels so it was either Bintang RTM, Drama Minggu Ini or the SAME Chinese movie aired four times a day.)

Good to be home.

"The hills are alive, with the sound of music,
With songs they have sung, for a thousand years..."
- yeah they played a medley of 'The Sound of Music' favourites. Still ringing in my head.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Tee hee.

My weekend was alright. My fever went away but it was replaced by a case of the sniffles. However, none of it mattered because… Lester is back! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, my boyfriend who has been out of town (sporadically) over the last seven weeks is finally back and won’t be leaving town till the first week of May (but only for a couple of days so…yay!).

Today is Monday. The day isn’t too bad. My boss is on medical leave for two days and my other colleague is on emergency leave for a week (a family member passed away). So it’s kinda quiet in here, which isn’t such a bad thing.

I think it’s the medication but I feel a bit high. Like happy high. Like everything makes me giggle.

(pause. I kicked the table. And now my toe is bleeding. Enter profanity).

As I was saying, I’m giggly. And a bit clumsy. And when I do something clumsy I giggle some more. Dunno la. I went for lunch today with Haw (it’s pronounce How by the way) and he couldn’t fathom my giggly-ness, so he figured fresh air might do me good. The minute we stepped into the coffee shop, it started again. First, I dropped the plastic container cover (which holds the chilli) into my bowl of soup. So bye bye soup. And then it took me a whole minute to chew a piece of sweet and sour pork.

Haw: What’s wrong now?
Me: Tough la the meat. I can’t chew it…
Haw: Don’t eat it.

So I proceed to spit it out and move on to the next piece of meat. Which is just as chewy and to prove my point to Haw, I try to cut it into smaller pieces with my fork and spoon. And then I accidentally bend the spoon. Hey it’s not my fault it’s one of those cheapo eating utensils ok?

So I’m still hungry after that. I decide to grab an ice-cream. One of those X-Choc Cornetto/Walls ones, I forget which one. Anyway, first two bites and I’m in sugar heaven (which probably isn’t such a good thing considering I’m giggly). And then as I’m halfway done, Haw looks at me, shakes his head and tells me to look in the mirror.

Yep, chocolate all over my mouth and chin. And my tongue is brown.

Anyway, I’m still in pretty high spirits eventhough my toe is bleeding. Maybe I should do something about all that blood…

It's like that y'all (that y'all), that y'all (that y'all)
Da da da da, I like that y'all (that y'all)
It's like that y'all (that y'all), that y'all (that y'all)
Like da da da da, I like that y'all (that y'all)
-Mariah Carey, 'It’s Like That'. Once again, her songwriting skills are incomparable.

Friday, April 15, 2005

Pass the panadol.

I’m not well. Sniff. Fever, sore throat, the works. I hate being sick. I especially hate being sick when I have loads of things to do in the office and I’ve planned my weekend. I took a sick leave yesterday but today, even if I’m frothing and having convulsions, I can’t afford to take another day off. There are just too many things to settle in the office. I’m gone for a day and already I have sixteen emails in my office inbox. I’m gonna fight this fever, no matter what it takes. Lester will be home for ONE day and I’m not going to waste it by being in bed nursing my fever. It’s so annoying. Why couldn’t I be sick earlier in the week?

Ok, let’s see. Bright side:
Today’s Friday, which means lunch is from 11:30am to 2pm.
Tomorrow is a non-working Saturday. Yay.
I get to spend the whole day with Lester. Double yay.
I can wake up late tomorrow.
I’m feeling a bit better than yesterday.

Not so bright side:
My body feels funny.
I feel so drugged up form the antibiotics and what nots.
I’m getting hungry but I have a sore throat so I’m limited to non-yummy stuff.
Deadlines. Grr.
I have to work tonight.

Alright, back to work. Damn deadlines.

“Closing time, time for you to go out, go out into the world.
Closing time, turn the lights up over every boy and every girl.
Closing time, one last call for alcohol so finish your whiskey or beer.
Closing time, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here.”

-Semisonic, Closing Time

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

My current wallpaper. Blonde pole dancer, haha. Posted by Hello

My trusty work companions. Sometimes, I still dunno how to spell ciggar...cigarre...A smoke. Oh and i recommend that book right on top by Mike Haddon.  Posted by Hello

This is what happens when the boss is on leave and they leave the office camera lying around.  Posted by Hello

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Smoke, pee and party.

People shouldn’t smoke in the office. I have nothing against smokers but I do have a problem with inconsiderate smokers. There’s a Board of Directors meeting going on in the conference room right now and someone is smoking in there. I know because the whole office reeks of cigarette smoke. That’s just not nice because the office is an enclosed, air-conditioned area and the majority of staff here doesn’t smoke. Plus we have a number of pregnant women around.

And my nose is getting itchy.

I have another peeve: People who can’t aim properly in the john. What is with that? The office toilet is usually spotless until an outsider visits the office. There’s pee all over the toilet seat and on the floor! How hard can it be to pee INTO the toilet bowl? Are our office toilets oh-so-different from the ones other people have at home? I think it’s a safe assumption that the perpetrator was male (probably the smoker in the conference room too, grr). Pardon me as I get a wee bit detailed here but I always figured that it would be easier for guys to pee and not cause such a mess. First up, they’re standing and no removal of garments is required. Secondly, they actually ‘handle’ their ‘equipment’, so they should have better control of where all the urine is going. And they say men have better hand-eye coordination, pah.

Anyway, on another note, Friday night was da bomb. I haven’t gone out like that in ages so it was pretty fun. Mia, Pu, Sel, Carol, Yo and I got a hotel room at the Hyatt so none of us have to drive back after a night of boozing. The merriment began during dinnertime. Beers all around! Around 9pm we headed back to the room, got dressed (which was an event by itself when you have six women applying make-up and getting dressed in one cramped bedroom) and continued our drinking session. We had three bottles – names of which are all a blur to me today – but we didn’t polish them off. We just needed a bit of a buzz before we headed to Shenanigan’s, where my good friend Jim Beam awaited us in eager anticipation. The current live band still sucks but good enough for us to sing along and shake our bon-bons to. I knew the drinks were doing their thing when Yo and Pu start getting louder (yes, Pu can actually get louder, haha), Carol starts scoping the bar for cute guys (wait, we were all doing that…), Mia starts ordering tequila shots and I’m trying hard to make the room stop spinning. Sel had to work a bit so she only re-joined us after midnight (sober as ever, sial. Making her the sole credible witness to the night’s events). When the music stopped and the lights came on, that was our cue to head back to our room.

Er, and then I had a sandwich and I went to sleep. The end *innocent whistling*

Disclaimer: The author reserves the right to withhold any information pertaining to the night in question. The author also reserves the right vehemently deny reports of untoward behaviour due to intoxication. The author was a little tipsy but still made it to work the next morning.

I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart

-Luther Vandross, I'd Rather. Ya a bit mushy la but it's on my playlist and it's the only lyrics ringing in my head now.

School daze.

I was listening to the radio today. They were asking listeners who took Additional Math in secondary school if they found it useful or relevant today.

Yeah, I find it about as useful as installing an air-conditioner in an igloo.

Come on la. Here’s what I really learned in school:

Chemistry – Always have a good lab partner. Preferably someone who knows what’s going on. Mine was Puei. She would be busy calculating the formulas while I played with the air suling bottle. Also, Mr. Ang (our chem teacher) knew I hated chem. and relished in calling me up to the board to complete the equations. Evil man. (And to top it off, I had to see on Tuesday and Thursday nights for extra chemistry tuition. Grr.) SPM result: Pass, 8 units

Physics – That it actually IS common sense but it’s the formulaic babble that makes it a complete bitch to learn. F=MA. E=MC². I=DNT/CARE. And inertia. Ok at least I found that concept interesting. And that small Indian men with big moustaches should not wear carrot-cut pants. EVER. SPM result: Pass, 8 Units

Biology – Of all the sciences, this I was slightly better at. Mainly cuz it just required lots of reading and remembering who’s who on the kekunci dikotomi (dichotomy tree?). But there was an interesting moment during my SPM practical examinations where I had to identify a piece of gooey blob on a petri dish. It looked so strange and after classifying it as “no backbone, clear, water based”, I decided that it closely resembled a jellyfish. After the session was over, my friends were excitedly debating about the seven specimens they had to identify. “Seven?” I asked. “But there were eight on my table.” After I described what it looked like, my friends calmly held my hand, “Mel. That was the petroleum jelly for the second experiment.”
SPM Result: Pass, 7 units. (it would have been a 6 if not for the Vaseline tragedy)

Math – If I gave the chicken rice lady RM5 for my RM3 chicken rice, I should expect RM2 back. Ok la, this one a bit useful. SPM result: Pass. 3 units.

History – Parameswara. Sultan Muzaffar Shah. Melaka. 1816. Ogos 31, 1957. Perjanjian Versailles. Laksamana Cheng Ho. Stamford Raffles. Sir David Attenborough (wait, that’s National Geographic). Boring as hell but I survived. I also learned that the kingdom of Brunei used to be huge but the King kept giving away land and today it’s swamped by Sabah and Sarawak. SPM result: Pass. 5 units.

Additional Math - …was the biggest mistake of my life. It was this or Accounting (they both had numbers so I figured I was a goner either way). Still, I should have chosen the lesser of two evils. The memories of algebra, trigonometry and Satanism (well it seemed that way) still haunt me till today. I don’t think I’ll ever be the same. SPM result: Pass. 8 units.

BM – ok la. I can bullshit it both English and BM so this was a breeze. SPM result: Credit. 3 units.

English – ditto. SPM results: Credit. 1 unit.

English Lit – My favourite subject. The only one I didn’t mind attending class for. The only one where I did extra research. The only one that didn’t make me wish the science labs would explode and classes would be cancelled. The only one where people asked ME for MY homework (hey, I was always on the other end so this was a big deal for me). SPM Result: Credit. 2 units. – I was pretty pissed because someone totally undeserving and copied my work day in day out got a 1 (carol, pu, sel, mia and yo: u know la who).

I’m not even gonna discuss Moral Studies. It doesn’t deserve any space on my blog. (I just mentioned it. Doh.)

K la. Enough reminiscing for now. My secondary school days ain't nothin' to shout about.

"Child, don't you worry
It's enough your growing up in such a hurry
Brings you down, the news they sell ya
To put in your mind that all mankind is a failure
But nobody knows
What's gonna happen tomorrow
We try not to show
How frightened we are"

-Duran Duran, What Happens Tomorrow

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Yawnie yawnie yawn

Die la i'm so sleepy...It's 10.40am and i'm trying to keep my eyelids open. I've lost count of the amount of times i've yawned. I try varying the things i do so i won't get bored but everytime i start on a task, i start nodding off anyway.

die die die die die die.

I only had four hours of sleep (don't ask). I can't read because it makes my eyes heavier. I can't write because the words aren't coming out coherently. I can't take a walk around the office because i feel too tired to move. I can't go shopping cuz i don't have money (oh wait, wrong blog). But you get what i mean.

"And everytime i close my eyes i thank the Lord i've got you.
And you got me too..."
-Babyface, Everytime I Close My Eyes. Whatever la. I just wanna close my eyes and take a nap.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005


Was too lazy to blog yesterday so pardon the disappearance. Yesterday was just a lazy lazy lazy day. I think I wrote two articles in the morning (which sounds like total crap now that I re-read it) and I was done for the day. Verrible terrible but I was malas to the max.

Anyway, Tuesday seems to be much better. I had nasi lemak for breakfast at a coffee shop nearby (yum) and was off to attend some income tax talk. I know it sounds deathly boring but I actually volunteered to attend it. It wasn’t so much a talk, more of a step by step introduction on how to calculate your taxes and how to fill in the form (aka Taxes for Dummies). I learned lotsa new stuff, such as

1) You’re entitled to RM500 worth of magazines and books in a year as long as you keep the receipts (basically they deduct this from the total tax amount you have to pay)
2) You can also deduct medical bills for your parents up to RM5000 a year
3) You have to pay by April 30th or else they fine you a minimum of RM50 or a percentage of your taxes

And most importantly:

4) I don’t have to pay taxes yet. Yay (of course this also reflects the peanut-pay I’m receiving).

My KL trip was good. Brief but good. But tiring. I forgot how exhausting KL can be. I’ve never been a city girl at heart anyway. I like the laidback pace of KK better. But nothing beats the shopping and nightlife buzz of the big city, I must admit! My colleagues and I checked into Parkroyal Hotel around 2:30am on Saturday, hit the sack at 3 and was up by 8am. We managed to hop to Sungei Wang for some browsing before we grabbed a cab to get to Istana Budaya (where the Sound of Music musical was held) around 1pm. We were given a special tour backstage and met the stagehands and music producer. It was really cool to be backstage and see the technical side of the production. Did you know the whole stage is actually as big as half a football field? Yep, you only see one third of the stage during the performance. And it’s seven floors high! This is to make space for the props and lights that are suspended in the air.

Anyway, the musical itself was amazing. I can see why it was an award-winning Broadway production: the costumes, the set, the cast and the music…Everything was amazing down to the last detail. And since it was the Sound of Music, I couldn’t resist singing along most of the time, haha. I hardly felt the 2 and a half hours go by.

So back to the hotel we went, humming The Lonely Goatherd all the way of course. I met up with my brother, Johann, and we went shopping at One Utama. Took us an hour to get there from KL. Suddenly the ten-minute ‘traffic jam’ after work here in KK didn’t seem too bad after all. And all those toll booths. The amount we paid was enough to cover my lunch here for a day. Note to self: Only consider job opportunities in KL if pay offered is between RM3 to RM5 million.
Johann said I could have anything I wanted for dinner.

Johann: So what u want?
Me: * looks around * Burger King?
Johann: * stunned silence * You flew all the way to KL and you want to eat at Burger King?
Me: They have Whoppers…
Johann: No. Choose something else.

And that was that. So we had dinner at Friday’s. Which turned out to be a better dining choice after all, heh heh.

Sunday was crunch time. If I didn’t buy anything now, I’d probably end up with nothing. I was happily traipsing along KLCC when suddenly I felt my right eye go blurry. I started seeing spots and people were talking louder and louder. Ah shit, I knew immediately what was happening. Migraine attack. The last one I had was late last year and it was so bad I had to pull over till my vision came back. Anyway, there I was in KLCC with my left temple pounding and my right eye going blurry. I bought my meds at a pharmacy, gulped it down and prayed for the migraine to go away. My colleagues decided it was best if we went back to the hotel and grab lunch along the way. In the taxi, I felt like my left eye was going to pop out of my head at any moment (not the best feeling…Gee you think?). At the chicken rice shop, things were improving but I cringed everytime the waiters dropped something or dragged a chair across the floor. Migraines mean everything is five hundred times louder and brighter, so go figure. It was like having someone rattling spoons while screaming Hakka obscenities inside my head. Bising oh.

But come evening, all was well and by the time I boarded the plane, I was looking forward to sleeping in my own bed that night. Yeah, KL still has its charm and nothing beats retail therapy in the city. But come to think of it, nothing beats the familiarity of KK’s tight roads, annoying jaywalkers and ten-minute traffic jams.

"One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do
Two can be as bad as one, its the loneliest number since the number one
No is the saddest experience you'll ever know
Yes is the saddest experience you'll ever know
cause one is the loneliest number that you'll ever know
one is the loneliest number even worst then two."
- Filter, One.

Friday, April 01, 2005

Play nice.

I started my morning writing the nastiest blog. Profanities, swearing and full-blown venting. Someone in my office pissed me off big time. But after re-reading it three times, i realised it wasn't worth the risk of the person reading it (you never know who stumbles across your blog these days) and causing bad blood in the office.

Cuz it was really nasty.

I almost scared myself when i realised how horrible I could sound. I mean, sure we have our bitchy days, but when you see it in writing....Wow. It ain't pretty. I hate my temper. I'm relatively slow to anger but once i do lose it, the term 'blind fury' brings a whole new meaning. Ok, note to self: Vent, don't dent.

I'm not so pissed at her anymore but she's pretty much the last person on earth I want to have a conversation with right now. Ok happy thoughts, happy thoughts...

It's raining crazy outside: thunder, lightning, huge-ass raindrops. I can leave the office early today (yay) because i haven't packed (oh no). I'm really happy about my KL trip. The show is Saturday afternoon which means i have the whole Saturday night to do...whatever I want! First things first, gotta look for the food. I'm meeting up with Johann, my bro, and it'll be mall hopping from there onwards. Too bad it's only till Sunday otherwise i'd love to call up my buddies and just hang with them. Haven't had a good mamak outing for a while :) But let's focus on priorities here.


"I'm leaving on a jet place, dunno when i'll be back again..."
-Chantal Krevaziuk (well that's the version i remember anyway), Leaving on a Jet Plane. See u Monday.