Friday, May 26, 2006

Professional Waiter

I was chatting online with one of my girlfriends yesterday. We mulled over our current predicament and 'relationship adventures'. Here's a modified transcript of that conversation (without giving away too much):

Her: basically I wait?
Me: We're always waiting. Do you think it's worth the wait?
Her: I dunno.
Me: Sitting, waiting, wishing. Like Jack Johnson says.
Her: We're like professional waiters.

Professional waiters. It was so corny yet made complete sense. Looking back, observing the present and thinking of the future, I've officially turned into an official 'waiter'. Not in the 'bring me a glass of water' (in case you haven't caught that yet...). And why? Why do we subject ourselves into becoming diligent albeit foolish waiters? Is there a big, fat tip waiting at the end of the waiting? Will we be rewarded with doggy biscuits for our 'sit,stay,good girl' antics? Waiting and patience have only gotten me so far. So screw the waiting, I say. Many of us were brought up to believe that good things come to those who wait.

I'm 27, I've waited and to be honest with you, I'm getting a bit tired of waiting.

"But you're only 27..." so whine the Sages of Wisdom. Oh shut up. This is my blog and I'll complain if i want to. I'm not an ingrate. I have a roof over my head, a stable job, good (but questionable) health bla bla bla bla....Spare me the righteous bullshit because I already know what's good in my life.

See, I don't claim to be the nicest person in the world (cursing other drivers kinda rules that out) but I feel I deserve a fair deal for the nice things I HAVE done in my past relationships. Boring long story short: I wanna get what I give. I wanna reap what I sow. Get the pic? But I sow and sow and sow...And I still ain't reapin'. I mean, to be fair, I reap for a while lah. And then somehow my plantation gets 'infested' or something, and I don't get to enjoy the fruits of my labour anymore. Bummer.

But i digress. My point is, I must aspire to be more than a Professional Waiter. A friend of mine told me yesterday: Think like a child and you'll be happy. Children just enjoy the moment. They seldom think of the consequences or the what ifs. We adults think too much. Children see something they like and grab it. If they fall off the monkey bars, they cry, pick themselves up and climb again. So let's apply this to our adult life: Meet a man, he breaks your heart, you cry and then you find another guy to play with again. You have a great job, you get fired, your and then you find another job.

Hey, I get it now!

I guess it's good to live in the moment. No more five-year plans. All that matters is 'now'. You've left the past and you can't see the future. All you have to deal with is the present. My advice to my girlfriends: Have fun now. Screw the consequences. Don't plan the future. You are answerable to no one else but yourself so feel free to do whatever you want, regardless of societal expectations. Be selfish. No more waiting. Just do it (Nike schmikey, it gets the point across).

Ok, beyond the Deep-and-Meaningful-Life-Lesson blog for today, in other areas of my life:

1. Good news: I will be away from the office beginning May 27th till June 5th. Yay!
2. Bad news: It's for work. And I foresee dealing with difficult people.
3. Going drinking this weekend
4. Going to Kellybays in Tuaran for some crab-catching, kayaking, mangrove cruising, banana boat-riding and lunch.
5. Some shitty people in the office really pissed me off today and I've decided that they are a waste of space and time in this universe. May their genitals be infested by a thousand fleas, rot and fall off.
6. I'm feeling mean these days and for the first time in a long time...I don't feel bad about it at all. Maybe I AM changing for the better.

Have a great weekend and remember: If you are an idiot, please stay away from me and my friends.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

'Hello, I'm an Idiot Driver.'

You know what I hate most about driving?

Other drivers.

At least 'P' license holders (drivers on probation) have a huge sticker on their cars asking for some consideration. I like to think it stands for 'Pardon me' or 'Practicing', but some 'P' drivers act as if they're trying to prove they're 'Pieces of shit', 'Pandai'(clever) or '****mak' (i'll leave you to figure that one out.

But how about the rest of the driving population? First you have the 'uncles/aunties' who road hog at 20 (25 if they're feeling 'dangerous') km/h. And then the Sunday drivers who point at every freakin' signboard, tree, house as they pass as if to make a truly genius observation to their passengers, "Wah...So nice la dat house. But ours nicer." And then you have the Idiot Drivers who think amber at the traffic light means 'go faster'. The Super Idiot Drivers not only go faster at the amber lights, they try to knock some pedestrians down while leaving a trail of black smoke and pounding music in the background.

I nearly got into TWO accidents in the last week and neither of which was I at fault. Scenario one: Roundabout. Why do idiots become stupider at roundabouts? It's like the population's IQ drops by 80 percent everytime they see one. It's verrry simple, you dodo drivers. There are usually two lanes. STAY in your lane and if you are in the outer lane you CANNOT cut into the inner lane as you make a turning. Comprende? Anyway, back to my near accident. There I was, minding my own business, lalalala and already in the roundabout area. Suddenly I see a pick-up approaching from the left at high speed. He's not slowing down. This could be a problem. He suddenly realises he might actually kill me so he slams on his brakes, screeching, causing a panic behind him and me looking for my liver which might have dislocated itself during the whole commotion. Say it with me now: Idiot.

Scenario two: I'm at a junction.Anyone with half a brain (or even George Bush for that matter) stops to look both ways. Elementary driving rule. Idiot yellow kelisa behind me probably needs to shit really bad so he decides he can't wait and overtakes me AT A JUNCTION. And I don't realise this until I'm actually make my right turn. And, wowee junior juice, wants to make a right turn as well.

(Do you see a problem yet?)

I brake. He brakes. We're both in the middle of the road and I'm yelling at him, "Oi, bodoh, this is my way la! (expletive expletive)". Yellow Kelisa man looks non-chalant (probably trying to get his shrunken balls back to its normal peanut size) and zooms off. His devil may care attitude pisses me off even more and -in a brief yet harmless moment of road rage- I actually tail the guy and drive thisclose to his bumper just to annoy him. The best part is, he had to trail behind a really slow Toyota and was basically sandwiched by the Toyota and yours truly. Ok so I'm not proud of being a bully but I dislike being on the other end of the stick at the same time. Idiot Yellow Kelisa was NOT going to get away so easily.

And why don't people signal? Hellooooo, those lights aren't decorative you know. You know whats worse than people who don't signal? People who signal as they make the turn. Bodoh.
And BUSSES. Oh my oh my oh my how I hate them busses. They jump queue, stop wherever they like and always have pervy passengers who look into your car as they drive by.

Sometimes, just when I think I can't stand other drivers on the road, another breed of beings top the list:


Friday, May 19, 2006

I've been busy: Evidence below.

I have free time! Ok, time to see the Life and Times (over the last two weeks anyway) of Melissa in photos:

Sabah Fest, May 5th. A night of cultural extravaganza. And cute kids in traditional costumes.

Mmm prawns. Did a write-up of Salut Seafood Restaurant and I tell you...these shrimps were finger-lickin' good.

Salut Seafood Restaurant: Giant clams and tiny me.

"James, bring me the tea and scones. La di da.." Having a moment at the Tip of Borneo, Tanjung Simpang Mengayau, Kudat. May 12, final rehearsal. Very windy and fortunately not as hot as the year before.

The big day: The Sunset Symphony performs on May 13 at the Tip of Borneo. Please. Don't. Rain.

Tired and in bad need of a shower. My colleagues and I taking time out after the event. We had dinner, reached the hotel at 11pm and fell asleep with a book in my hand. Not quite the wild birthday celebration I had in mind, heh.

Found an old shot of my and workmates enjoying a round of Happy Hour after work. Haven't had one of these in a while, sob.

There you go. Hopefully this weekend will be a bit more laid-back. Have a good one peeps.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Can't. Write. Any. More.

Date: May 18, 2006
Place: The office
Time: 11:46am
Mood: Slightly irritated, a twinge of anxiety
Feeling: ...kinda sleepy, mentally tired and getting hungry.
Listening to: Jack Black singing 'School Of Rock'

I'm alone in the office and I just can't write (anything coherent or office-related) anymore. So a recap for y'all: I'm back from the Tip of Borneo, where we had the Sunset Symphony thing. Monday i had more magazine related stuff to do, visited the Tun Mustapha Gallery (it's pretty kewl) and attended a 2-day translation course on Tuesday and Wednesday. I'm back in the office with shitloads to do and i have to admit I didn't start the morning as happily as I could have. Blame the work. Blame the people who can't get their facts right. Blame the people who can't give me two minutes to breathe. On top of office work, I've got a freelance writing deadline to meet tomorrow. And i have written zilch. This be great.

Yesterday i took a break and met up with my girlfriends. PS2 + Eye Toy + an inflatable bat = good times. I need a holiday. A weekend of no interruptions, no work, no annoying phone calls, no whiny clients...So that when i get back, there'll be no more whiny, annoying Me.

I watched Poseidon (I read your blog a little too late, Yo) and I felt even more stressed after that. Watch it at your own peril.

I'm outta here...Need to find something to much on.

Thursday, May 11, 2006


Hello everyone. A quick post to say I'm alive and busy. I'm off to Kudat tomorrow for the Sunset Symphony event and will be back Sunday so until then...I'm going to remain missing in action for a while. Updates? Besides loads of work, I'm having a slight insomnia problem. Here's the creepy thing: I wake up every day around 2-3am without fail, go back to sleep and wake up again at 5am. Every single day. Even bloody weekends. If this keeps up, I'm gonna start popping pills. On a brighter note, I might actually start losing weight.

Yawn. Ok, back to business. Enjoy the long weekend (i hate you guys).

Thursday, May 04, 2006

May-day May-day!

A quick post today. May is normally my favourite month of the year for several reasons:
1. Half the year is almost gone
2. Christmas is only 7 months away
3. Lots of reasons to celebrate: mother's day, my brother's bday, Sel's bday, my parents' anniversary etc
4. Plenty of Public Holidays, four to be exact.
4. and of course...It's my bday month, heh.

But i digress. May also happens to be the busiest month for Sabah tourism in terms of events and this year, on top of events, the work load just keeps piling on. I have two major brochures to compile and produce (aalllll by myselllllfffff...), daily cultural shows in shopping malls to host for the next two weeks, a 2-day English-Malay translation course to attend sometime in the third week AND to top it off: My magazine production schedule has been brought two weeks ahead to meet printing deadlines as offices will be closed at the end of the month for the Harvest Festival.


And my editor in KL (my freelance job) is waiting for my story on Karim Rashid (refer to earlier post) . And i have yet to do the interview. The Sabah Fest is this Friday, the Kiulu 4M Challenge (a traditional sporting event) is on Sunday and next weekend I will be at the Tip of Borneo for the Sunset Symphony. Sigh. And i still have food reviews to do, places to visit, people to interview for the magazine....

Must. Breathe.

Ok, time's a ticking. Wish me luck.