Friday, May 29, 2009


It's finally here. The Ka'amatan weekend. I am so happy, I'm doing backflips in my heart right now (because in real life I can't do a backflip. Random info, i know).

Whataweek. From office dilemmas (cancelled, not cancelled, cancelled, NOT cancelled...) to personal affairs. In a nutshell, here's what I gathered:-

1. People will appreciate you, people will take you for granted.

2. Facebook is toxic. I'm taking an indefinitely break from it. We live in a fishbowl society and I'd like to try and stay out of it.

3. There are SO MANY pretentious people in this town. I know people who wouldn't give me the time of the day UNTIL they realise I can do them a favour. I hope you choke on your silver spoon, you self-centered brats.

4. I need to start hitting the gym again. After my futsal session, I realised how out of shape I am.

5. I miss Futsal! After last night's game, I vow to hit the courts more often.

6. Recognise the toxic people in your life and keep them away. They usually come in form of exes.

7. Speaking of which, an ex recently told me to 'Let him go' as he thinks my association with him (ie: we're still friends) is causing the failure of all his potential relationships. Hellooooo...If you can't dance, don't blame the music.

8. Happiness comes in the smallest forms. From watching horror movies all night to playing a repetitive online game.

9. He rubbed my sore feet and painted my toenails. Just because he's sweet like that.

10. I am blessed. I just need to be reminded now and then.

I'm off to watch the Australian Bee Gees show tonight at Magellan - a charity concert in aid of the Palliative Care Association of Sabah. Ok, is it just me or is the whole theme of the night a little...Ironic...considering it's for people under palliative care?

It's called, "Stayin' Alive"

Monday, May 25, 2009

In my heart, I'm packing already.

A wise friend called Bob once told me that one of the best ways to clear the blues is to plan a holiday. Even if it's just 'pretend' planning, heh heh.

Today is one of those days. I would sooner watch paint peel from my ceiling than do work. We call it malas. And yes, I am malas beyond belief. I need a break even if it is imaginary. So, I took Bob's advice and here's what I came up with:

Yes, I am heading to Manila this year! First of all, I miss my grandma loads, plus I haven't been back for a couple of years now. Won't disclose when exactly I'm going yet for fear of jinxing my planning. This time, I plan to stay for at least a week and besides shopping, eating and drinking my brains out, I would like to see more of Manila. The last time I went, I managed to visit Intramuros and Rizal Park. I'm thinking of doing an overnight trip to the Tagaytay highlands:

It'll be a nice drive, no?

Koh Samui
I've been 'planning' this trip for donkey years and it has yet to materialise. Predictable no? Being the beach bum I am.

But it's within my grasp now. Just a matter of WHEN - yes, after I quit my job. Watch this space.

I know it's not a city to shout about and yes, I know I hate the cold. But I do have some people worth visiting there :) Gonna have lots of fish and chips, enjoy a pint or two and speak the Queen's English as I drink tea and eat scones. Or something like that. Oooh and Madame Tussaud's! I'm a geek like that.

Heck I'm already going to London, so why not swing by the neighbours? Seriously, I'm in love with the scenery here and there's something about the Irish culture I heart so much. And the sexy accent - yum. My number one place to visit in Ireland? The Cliffs of Moher.

Is that beautiful or is that beautiful? Makes me want to put on a long, flowing dress with flowers in my hair while I guling-guling on the grass.

I could spend months and months in Ireland. Just sitting on a hill, drinking wine, soaking in the scenery, visiting castle after castle and listening to a blue-eyed Catholic Irish boy talk all day (no, i don't care what he's saying as long as he has the accent).

See? I feel much better already. In the meantime, I guess I'll settle for this:

Thursday, May 14, 2009

A Letter To Melissa

Dear Melissa At 16,

I know life is frustrating and unsure right now but I'm here to tell you....It's gonna be that way for a while! But i'm also here to tell you, it's nothing you cannot handle. Right now, you're worried about school and which path to take from here on. You're worried about which of the girls in school like your or think you're a loser. You hate your Good Girl image but you've never been the rebellious one neither. You want to please so many people and you think the amount of trophies and medals you have are a testament to your accomplishments. Sure, it always feels good to win and be recognised. In fact, you're gonna want that for the rest of your life.

But in time, those 50 girls you know in school amount to nothing because only a handful of them will see you through. I'm here to tell you that you can't be friends with EVERYone and that's ok. You will realise you only need 5 or 6 really good friends in your life - Friends who will tell you your panty lines are showing or hold your hair back as you puke into the toilet bowl after the 5th Flaming Lambo.

And boys. Oh yes, you have no idea what to make of them right now! Boys at 16 are such puzzling creatures. But let me tell you this: They're just as puzzling at 30. You like that boy because he's cute and he's going to do so well in his SPM (yes its ok to be a geek!) and all the other girls are just as crazy about him. But when you reach 30, you'll want that man who can make you laugh, will be there when you need him for the most ridiculous of things and thinks your family is awesome. And it won't hurt if he has ambition too.

There's no such thing as a fairytale, Melissa.No knight is going to come sweeping you off your feet. If anything, they're going to knock you off your feet and plenty of times, you'll have to learn to pick yourself up again. Don't be disheartened - As many idiots there are out there, you will meet plenty of worthy ones too. You'll fall in love and it will be the best feeling in the world. You'll break some hearts and it will be the worst feeling in the world. And then there's that first broken heart and I am here to caution you: It's not going to be pretty. But you have the inner strength of 10,000 men and you just don't know how to summon it yet. Trust me when I say, there is absolutely NOTHING you cannot handle.

Don't lose sight of your ambition. It's not always going to turn out the way it should - You're not going to law school but you will continue your pursuit of writing. That will always be your true love and nothing will stop you. I'll tell you a secret: You're going to be a journalist! And it will humble you beyond words. I know right now you think you know it all and your brilliance is blinding but honey, you know nuts.

Stop judging people. It's become a bad habit especially in your formative years. But so many people in your lives are going to introduce you to a whole new world of messy break-ups, broken marriages, tragedies, hard lives and living with illness - And you will realise things are never what they seem. So stop judging people and perhaps they will stop judging you.

Your college years will be the best years of your life and you will make lasting friendships. Life gets more 'colourful' in your 20s and, ever the optimist, you'll always find a silver lining. But there will be one very dark patch and you won't be taking very good care of yourself. Melissa, the bottle doesn't solve anything. And you will wake up and realise he was not worth the abuse.

You will grow. From strength to strength. People and situations will knock you down when you least expect it but I'm telling you from where I'm standing, there's nothing you cannot overcome. But there is one thing you and I share: We'll always be fools for love. The difference is, at 30, you'll know what you're worth far more than you think at 16 - And that will help you make a more wisened decision when it comes to matters of the heart.

Melissa, you are blessed. Never forget that with the grace of God you will go places and achieve things you never imagined. And don't take the people in your life for granted, especially your family. Even at 30, you'll still be the 'baby' and you gotta work that to your advantage, haha! You'll meet friends who are just GOLDEN and you'll let go of the ones who no longer bring goodness to your life. And that's ok.

You'll turn 30 and be right where I am. And I promise you will look back and be amazed at what you are capable of. I think Melissa at 40 will have an even better story to tell.

love always,
Melissa at 30

Monday, May 11, 2009


I spent the past couple of weeks putting together a talk for the Sabahan bloggers regarding Vote Sipadan as one of the New 7 Wonder of Nature (its all here on ).

I went to Clement Lee's (one of our Director's and Sipadan expert) office to see if we could get him as a guest speaker and hooray! he agreed.

I got all the goodies sorted out to be distributed.

I didn't want them to hungry neither so I booked a light buffet spread for 40 people.

I raved to my bosses how the Bloggers are the most excellent channel for this campaign.

My boss caught on my enthusiasm and even showed up for the talk. I was nervous but excited. After all, 37 people said they were coming. More than 10 double-confirmed, which I took as a good sign.

I worked a good part of Saturday - the day of the event - to make sure I had everything in order. And then, the time finally came.

My team and I waited in anticipation. 7:00pm. Any moment now, those bloggers will come streaming in.


They did.

All TWO of them.

Anyway, long story short, I have good, reliable friends who came swooping to the rescue. They called their friends etc etc and by 8:15pm, we had at least 20 people (ok, so more than 50 percent of them were my office-mates).

The night ended well, despite the poor turnout. I was, to say the least, disappointed. Why would 35 people say, "Yes, we'll be there!" and then do the opposite? I am trying my best to give everyone the benefit of a doubt but at the end of the day, I was completely letdown.

It's not fair to pigeon-hole the WHOLE blogging community (because I AM grateful for the few who did show up despite the last minute invite) but I can't say much about the rest, can I? And yes, I know not everyone knew about the talk - so no, I am not referring to those who had no idea what was going on.

But shame on you for RSVP-ing and turning your backs. I've lost my faith and I feel completely humiliated after all the hard work my team and I put in.

On a less bitter note, a big shout-out to Yo, Mia, Jeremy and Melvin H. for roping in whoever they could at the last moment. I can't say thank you enough.

Friday, May 01, 2009

Falling off the planet.

Yes, I haven't been blogging. Wow, how did you notice?

How the winds do shake the darling buds of May... or something like that. It's May already. ALREADY. Where the hell the weeks go? Oh that's right - I've been caught up in my world of "This-is-due-tomorrow" that time has become oh-so fleeting. It's a good thing and it's a bad thing. GOOD because I don't have time to dwell on things that might bring me down (ie: i really should lose 7 kilos...He really is such an asshole...I don't have enough money to travel...). BAD because I've become a social recluse. Kudos to you who have not given up on calling me out for a drink eventhough you probably know i'm going to be an ass and say, "I can't promise you, I'm a bit busy/sick/busy." I DO appreciate your calls and smses and I will totally understand if one day you wake up and go, "Melissa who?"

But for now, I am honest when I say I don't have the luxury of hanging out after work or on weekends as much as I'd like to. My day is filled to the brim with annoying demands as it is and sometimes by the time it's time to clock out of work, I just want to melt into the sofa and zone out. Sometimes it annoys the crap out of me when I go out for lunch with colleagues (disclaimer: I love them so this is not me bitching about them ok) but the topic of WORK never escape the table. Like wtf. Can we go 60 minutes NOT talking about Sabah Fest, press conferences, article deadlines, management meetings or how incompetent some people in the office are???

Which is why most days, I sit in the office with my sandwich during lunchtime, watching The Big Bang Theory on my computer and for just one BLESSED hour, I hope to God I can have some me-time.

But of course, that's too much to ask because that's when the phone will conveniently start ringing and someone on the other line going, "Hi, is this bad time? Lunch? Oh ok, I was just wondering if you could...."

But of courrrrrse I cannnnn....It's my pleasurrrre....


Yes, I've fallen off the planet. And as I glance at my calendar filled with to-dos and deadlines, I'm afraid I won't be climbing back on for a while. In the meantime, have a drink for me will ya?