Monday, September 13, 2010

It's spelled Piranha not Pirahna.

*warning: Spoilers ahead!

Seeing that the selection of movies at the KK cinemas leave much to be desired in the last 30 days or so, Haw and I were left with either the latest installation of Resident Evil or a remake of the classic Piranha (which I have been misspelling all this while until I took a good look at the poster. Nuff said). Zombies or killer fishies? Hmm. Good thing it's me because I swing both ways, baby! But we took the road less taken (and risky perhaps) and opted for Piranha 3D - which is completely misleading because it's NOT being screened as 3D in KK as I write this. Boo.

It's been a while since I've been inspired to 'review' a movie (I would never claim to be a professionale but here's my two cents anyway) and my oh my did this movie inspire me. Bearing in mind it's an Alexandro Aja film -the mind that brought you P2, The Hills Have Eyes and Mirrors - I was quite excited to see what his twisted mind had in store. I remember watching the 1978 version when I was a kid and it freaked me out for a while. All grown-up but still afraid of the dark, I knew the 2010 adaptation would not disappoint.

Fluff aside, the story tells of a scientific anomaly where there's a shift in the ground that releases prehistoric flesh-eating piranhas into the lake where, but of course, hundreds of teenagers are spending their much-anticipated spring break. Four words: Worst. Spring. Break. EVER.

Nobody pays attention to the Sheriff (played by Elisabeth Shue), of course ,and all hell breaks loose. "I am the Sheriff. Check out my biceps!" - Elisabeth Shue pulling a Linda Hamilton

There are some great lines in the movie. A kid yells, "SHARK!" at the first attack and someone actually retorts, "Who yells Shark! at a lake?". Ya, sempat lagi bah kan. Anyway about 70 percent - no, 75 - revolves around bikinis, boys, beer and boobs. Oh and this:

Yep, a wet t-shirt competition. I think it was scenes like these that gave the movie the 18 rating and not so much the blood and gore. I could almost hear 50 wet dreams happening at the same time in the cinema.
The other protagonist in the movie was a scientist played by the unimaginatively named Adam Scott. It was hard to take him seriously at first because I kept picturing him as the obnoxious 'Derek' from Stepbrothers (i love that movie).

And before you brush off Piranha as another B-grade movie, there were some notable faces, including Richard Dreyfuss, Ving Rhames AND Christopher Lloyd - the paranoid Doc Brown from Back to the Future.

Ok so this movie isn't going to win a Golden Globe. Probably not even a Razzie. But it is pure horror cult classic blood-guts-and-gore genius - IN 3D! (note: eventhough I didn't get to watch in 3D, this movie was built for the 3D effect which, i am sure, would've made the movie even more enjoyable. Sekian dimaklumkan).
"Look Bob, our main dish has arrived!"

And the build-up is worth the wait. Halfway through the movie, you can't help but WANT the hormone-raged annoying teenagers to just die already. They did not disappoint:

I never cheered so loudly in the cinema. Love it or hate it, you cannot deny the artistic genius in the way these kids are mauled, ravaged, eaten, bitten, maimed and just finished off. Be warned: It is not for the faint-hearted. I love my gore so this was like an alcoholic being in a brewery.

I thoroughly enjoyed the movie for several reasons. I love the simplicity of this genre, which is almost textbook yet never fails to attract an audience. Classic. I was also pleasantly surprised at the quality of dialogue and selection of cast - the script is at times sharp and witty. And finally, every now and then, I need to watch a movie that doesn't leave me pondering on the meaning of life as the credits roll. And it's okay if Kate Winslet or Al Pacino aren't in it.

So how does it end? It ends predictably unpredictably. You'll just have to watch it to see what I mean.

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