Tuesday, November 30, 2004


There’s this hype about Paula Malai Ali being on Oprah recently. And I’m sure it’s been blogged to death. But I thought I’d express my thoughts on the issue as well, ehem. Anyway, quick recap, PMA was selected to do a short segment on the average 30-year-old woman in Malaysia. So they did a three-minute clip to show how a so-called ‘average’ 30-year-old woman lives in good ol’ sunny Malaysia. It was on Oprah last Sunday, Astro Channel 70.

She starts off by saying she must MUST have her weekly massage (she says 'meh-sahj') , which is ONLY US$12 mind you, and then shows how the threading technique works instead of the usual eyebrow plucking technique. We enter her apartment. Cozy, lots of uber-cool ethnic stuff lying around (“Oh dah-ling, this is absolutely gorgeous, isn’t it? I bought it during my recent trip to Bali/Bangkok/South Africa/whatever sounds exotic”) and the camera pans around to show the swimming pool and tennis courts in her apartment grounds. Her rent, she tells, is only US$250. That’s about RM950 a month. (ok, at this point, I’m wondering when she’ll mention she’s actually married to royalty, is a famous TV personality and hails from Brunei. Hello?)

PMA then claims because of the oh-so-affordable living expenses in Kuala Lumpur, she has spare change to buy the must-have Jimmy Choo shoes (fine, she gets points for pointing out Choo is actually Malaysian).

Someone needs a reality check.

I was kind of embarrassed because the other women from other countries were at least blunt and revealed harsh realities about their lives there. Such as the woman from Rwanda, who was repeatedly raped, watched 16 family members killed before her and is now raising her son (conceived during the rape) and 2 other foster children. She’s living a normal life now and Oprah sent her to college (in true Oprah style of course). And this actress from Mexico – who is gorgeous and rich but anyway - revealed that her country is known for infidelity. I’m not expecting PMA to share some personal trauma but some dose of reality would be nice. Like, Malaysian women are very self-conscious. I think we are anyway. We’re always worried what other people will think if we do this, wear this etc. But I have long accepted that’s the way our culture works and although I don’t like it, I have to be honest and say I too am guilty of adhering to society’s expectations and requirements.

Ok, that’s a different topic altogether.

But Paula representing the average 30-year-old woman? Why didn’t they get some average executive who commutes to work, shops at Parkson Grand and watches movies at TGV on Saturday nights? Cuz it’s boring, that’s why. And heaven forbid we Malaysians be portrayed as boring. But it doesn’t have to be boring. It’s all about portrayal. A night out at the mamak can be deemed exotic to the foreign eye, right? Whatever it is, I just feel they could have done Malaysian women more justice by making the segment more realistic, honest and unique at the same time.

Ok that’s my two cents for the day. But what do i care about 30-year-old women anyway? I’m only 25,haha.

"Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, open the gate.
It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you.
You better let somebody love you,
you better let somebody love you
before it's too late."

- Desperado, The Eagles

Tuesday, November 23, 2004


It’s an Aerosmith song that comes to mind as i write this. I worked late last night and since I was alone, I figured I’d surf the net a bit, not sure what I was surfing for. Somehow I found myself typing ‘divorce rates’ and hit search. Suffice to say, I found enough stats to dampen my day. But here’s one site that takes the cake http://www.nomarriage.com. If you thought YOU were cynical, check out this guy’s (once you start reading, you’ll gather that he’s male) website. Some disturbing phrases (however the truth and credibility behind each statement is highly debatable so don’t take anything to heart – then again, only a moron with half a brain would):

* 4 out of 5 men regret marrying.
Divorce rate is around 60%. Majority of remaining married men are stuck in sexless marriages with nagging and bitching wives, but they choose not to divorce because they are afraid of being wiped out financially during divorce.

*Foreign women from South America, Eastern Europe, and Asia make much better wives than American women.
Dating or being married to an American woman is like driving a beat-up Ford Escort. If you are only used to driving a beat-up Ford Escort, then you have no idea what it feels like when you drive a Bentley or Ferrari.
·*Is this website about all American/Western women?

Women to avoid are women interested in Career, Personal Success, Personal Growth, Finding Themselves, and Self-improvement. That includes all career women and the majority of other North American and Western European women. I mostly use "American woman" throughout the website because it bacame synonymous with everything that is wrong with modern women. Substitute American with British, Canadian, Australian, etc if you don't live in the US.

Trust me, the content gets more twisted. He even has a book, yours for only $9.95. I don’t think he hates women, he just hates American women. Actually, come to think of it, he hates women who can take care of themselves.


There were so many jaw-dropping statements throughout the article that I began to think that writer was most likely dropped on his head when he was born. Heck if anything, I found myself defending marriage after reading his crap!

The million-dollar question would probably be why was I looking up information on divorce rates? Just curious I guess. I mean, I respect the idea of marriage and I consider it a sacred union. But it’s such a huge risk. Isn’t there a foolproof way of making sure you marry the right one? Hell, what does 'the right one' mean anyway? I know couples who have been married for more than 20 years and then wake up one morning and decide, “Gee you’re starting to annoy me. Buh-bye.” Yikes. Twenty years? Just like that?

Buying the wrong dress in the wrong colour, I can handle. Ordering a meal that tastes like feet, I’ll survive. Choosing the wrong mobile service provider, hey shit happens. But marrying the wrong guy? I really don’t like the way people consider divorce as an easy option out. I’ve seen it one too many times. The only way to reduce the likelihood of divorcing is to marry the right person.

It’s not exactly rocket science.

Ok enough talk. Happy song for the day:

“Dreams last for so long, even after you’re gone. I know you love me and soon you will see, you were meant for me. Like I was meant for you.”

-Jewel, You Were Meant For Me (if only it was that easy)

Friday, November 19, 2004

"A Woman"

This is written in the Hebrew Talmud, the book where all of the sayings and preaching of Rabbis are conserved over time. It says:

"Be very careful if you make a woman cry, because God counts her tears. The woman came out of a man's rib.
Not from his feet to be walked on.
Not from his head to be superior,
But from the side to be equal.
Under the arm to be protected,
And next to the heart to be loved."

"When a man loves a woman, can't keep his mind on nothing else..."
- Michael Bolton lovin' his woman...

Friday, November 12, 2004

Good week. Bad week.

It has been the longest seven days of my life. It hasn’t been the greatest week, hence the lack of interesting to blog about. Had I blogged everyday, I would have sounded something like this:

Saturday: ok la.
Sunday: Monday tomorrow? Sigh.
Monday: I feel like killing someone.
Tuesday: The weather is crap.
Wednesday: My tummy is still acting up.
Thursday: Happy Deepavali. I’m going to watch TV now so leave me alone.

So here I am, itching to leave the confinements of my office and embed myself in my couch, remote control in one hand and junk food in the other. I’m looking forward to the long weekend. SO looking forward. I’m very irritable these days. I think it’s a combination of things. Have a sucky week does not help of course.

Apologies for the negative vibes right now. On an ‘up’ note, I had a good Thursday. It was a public holiday so I stayed at home and hung out with my brothers, sister and nieces. It’s been a while since we all got together like that and we ended up playing a board game, called Atmosfear. We had a good laugh, everyone trying to annoy/cheat one another. Nothing like sibling love, eh? The boys and my nieces went out in the afternoon and my sis and I spent some girly time watching a DVD together. It was nice.

Ok back to work. Bloody hell.

“Let’s dance...Oh let’s daaaaaaance…”
- Donna Summers, who's having a better week I suppose.

Monday, November 08, 2004


My body is breaking down. I’ve got a migraine since last night and it’s pounding on my left temple. It’s like they opened up a factory in my head. And they’re operating overtime. For the last four days I’ve also been having a bad case of bloated-ness. Everytime I eat, my stomach goes on strike and starts acting up. I don’t need to go to the toilet but I’m just FULL of air (ok, you know what I mean). My stomach makes the strangest noises and it’s not because I’m hungry. I think I should start working out. The blood’s not circulating right in my body. But I’m too tired to work out. Ironic isn’t it?

I’m tired because I don’t exercise because I’m tired….

I wanna go home.

"Why does it hurt so baaaaad?"
-Whitney Houston singing my song.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Five-Year Plan

So what’s your five-year plan? I’ve heard this phrase several times this week and it got me thinking. Sometimes I think I’ve got my life sorted out but when someone asks me about my five-year plan, I realize I have a ‘general overview’ plan (things like 'I want to be happy') and not a five-year plan.

Should I worry? Not really but I’m starting to think that my life isn't as organized as I thought it would be. See, I’ve always been a bit uptight about planning. I love making a checklist of things to do. I plan how my every day should go. Here’s an example:

- Lunch with sis
- Dinner at home, coffee with sis
- Bed by 11

- Watch The Apprentice, hence, staying in tonight.
- Bed by 11

- Lunch with Mia and Wilson
- Rearrange CDs alphabetically
- Evening, reading time, bed

- Spend time with Lester in the evening
- Read some more, bed

You get the pic. And the thing is, it’s such a struggle for me to ‘interrupt’ my schedule. I’m a bit more flexible these days because it makes sense that not everyone can fit into my plans at my whim. It’s not a steadfast rule. Say on Tuesday I want to watch The Apprentice. I can still squeeze dinner with friends as long as I get home by nine.

My god. I sound like Monica from Friends.

I even plan my weekends in advance. Those who know me well are familiar with my ways. If I’m dressed to go for a drink at the beach, announcements such as, “Change of plans! We’re going clubbing!” doesn’t bode well with me. You have to tell me these things earlier. I have to have the right mind set, y’know what I mean? But since I met Lester, I have to say that I’m starting to loosen up a bit. He’s a lot more ‘let’s-just-see-how-it-goes’. It used to drive me crazy. Plans would get cancelled, plans would crop up…Nuts I tell you! So now, I try to just ‘wing it’ with him. Apa-apa pun jadi la, right honey? But the sweet thing is, he’s trying to be a bit more ‘predictable’ for me, heh heh. Life is good again.

But I digress. Back to the five-year plan. Let’s see. I’m 25. So what do I hope to achieve in five years? I love my job now, don’t get me wrong, but within the next five years I see myself getting a better job. Or at least going one step higher. Also, I think it’s practical to think that I’ll be focusing on saving money rather than spending it luxuriously. By 30, I would like to think I’ve settled down. In fact, I think it’s ideal to have one child before you hit thirty. I want to be one of those young mums who can still run around with their kids. But that’s just my opinion anyway.

So that’s about it. Better job, more money and kids by or before 30. What about you?

“Your love is better than ice cream, better than anything else that I’ve tried…”
- Sarah Maclachlan, Ice Cream

Monday, November 01, 2004

Why I Watch Horror Movies by Melissa Leong

Why do we watch horror movies? Two words: Cheap thrills. Some people bungee jump, others skydive. Me? I watch horror movies. Sometimes the scarier the better. Sure, I end up sleeping with the radio on for the next seven days or so but the adrenaline rush was worth it.

I went to watch The Grudge last Saturday. I know it’s a horror movie and I KNOW it’s gonna scare the bejesus out of me. I KNOW I’m gonna have flashbacks and I KNOW I won’t be able to look in the mirror while I brush my teeth. Does that stop me? Nope. In fact, I’m so proud that I kept my eyes open throughout the movie this time. I think I’m getting better. When I went to watch Exorcist: The Beginning a few weeks ago, I was staring at my friend’s shoulder instead of the (huge-ass) screen – making the demon-possessed face 50 times bigger mind you - for the last fifteen minutes. I really didn’t need the visual horror at that point, thankyouverymuch. There’s something about a possessed demonic face with a deep groveling voice that keeps me awake with the light on at night…

Anyway, back to The Grudge. I never did watch the Japanese version but saw enough of the trailer to know it wasn’t pretty. The American remake, with Sarah Michelle Gellar, was freaky enough as it is and they kept the Japanese setting. They stayed true to the original plot and there’s just something creepier when there’s an Asian element (seriously, I think the wailing pontianak is much scarier than any of Buffy’s wrinkly vampires in miniskirts). There were lots of scenes that stick in your head in The Grudge. From staying back late in the office (no more overtime for me) to riding the bus, it reminds you that ANYthing can happen ANYwhere ANYtime. You know that classic scene where the girl thinks she’s safest in her apartment under her covers and then something is actually under the covers WITH her?

I wanted to vomit blood and poke my eye at the same time.

After the movie, you tell yourself, “That’s it! That’s the last horror movie I’m gonna watch.” Of course, what you REALLY mean is…For now. Until you need that cheap thrill again. Last night, I left the radio on and dimmed my lights instead of turning them off. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts….

Bungee jumping doesn’t sound so bad after all.

"We've got nothing but the radio on..."
-some Dave Koz song.