Thursday, September 29, 2005
Two nights ago, I had the same dream. This time, I'm sitting in the backseat but somehow the pedals are right there with me. I couldn't recognise the other two people in the front seat but they were freaking out because the car wouldn't stop. And I kept screaming that the brakes weren't working but the other two just kept on freaking out. It finally spun to a stop but that's because we crashed into someone's brick wall (actually, I recall it being Mia's brick wall/fence). I sat in the car, in stunned silence and suddenly my brothers and sister appeared out of nowhere. But instead of checking on me, they start laughing and teasing me for ruining my car. I started to cry, mainly out of frustration because no one believed that the brakes weren't working. The more I cried, the more everyone laughed.
And then I woke up.
I've been getting the same 'brakes don't work' dream for years now and I'm wondering if someone can enlighten me on what it could possibly mean. Anyone?
Commitment: Mel's Take
I read Mia's recent blog post on commitment and I share her sentiments. And not just in the relationship sense, but jobwise/car payments etc too. I think it's the fear of getting stuck in the rut and being tied down to a routine. It's subjective really. I personally handle routine well and prefer it when I know what's going to happen in the next two hours/days/
weeks/months/years. But back to commitment. Here are some things I've learned over the years:
1. Commitment are for grown-ups. If you're still dating 'that chick with the nice ya-yas' or 'having a good time with that Italian stallion', you're not ready.
2. It's either you want to be committed or you don't. Leave no room for 'grey areas' also known as 'see first/you never know/let's just have fun for now'. If it's casual, ensure both parties are aware so no one gets hurt. It's called respect.
3. Ability to commit comes with age, particularly for men. Hence the logic behind the 'older man, younger woman' pairing.
4. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be in a committed relationship. I used to think it was so sad when people talk about finding 'The One' and settling down. As I age, I realise it's a natural progression.
So sue me.
5. Right time, wrong person. Wrong time, right person. Right time, right person. I believe we'll all get there somehow. And even if we don't, I believe in the freedom of choice. There's nothing wrong with staying single if that's what makes you truly happy. Screw society's expectations.
On another note, I do wish that our generation was less non-chalant about marriage. I believe in the sanctity of marriage and the whole 'go forth and multiply' sentiment. I guess i'm just an old-fashioned girl at heart. Divorce rates are disheartening to say the least and these days good ol' Malaysia is finally catching up with their American counterparts on rising divorce numbers (Malaysia boleh).
Here's what I say about commitment, relationships and all that jazz: Do what makes you happy. Don't sell yourself short or make decisions based on what everyone else is saying/doing. Be true to yourself because that's the only person you're guaranteed to wake up with for the rest of your life.
I'm going to the highlands again for the annual Climbathon. That time of the year when crazy people run up and down Mt. Kinabalu in less than three hours. As usual, my company is the main organiser and it'll be two days of 4am wake up calls and running around in the crisp mountain air (which isn't such a bad thing except I hate the cold). So no updates till I get back on Monday, ok peeps? Don't miss me too much...heh heh.
Anyway, I'm off. I might be watching Flight Plan tonight or have dinner with some friends. We'll see which plan pans out better. Till then, here's Mel's song of the day:
"Ding dik ding dik ding ding, ding dik ding dik ding ding..."
-The Crazy Frog song. haha.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
7 Things I Would Like To Do Before I Die
1. Visit Ireland
2. Visit Disneyworld – the real deal, not the Hong Kong/Euro ones.
3. Write a book
4. Get my masters and PhD (hah)
5. Have children
6. Learn another language
7. ok, ok… Get married.
Seven Things I Can Do
1. Make a really good cat face
2. Cover my nostrils with my upper lips (must be seen to be understood)3. Write (?)
4. Do a Beyonce/Shakira/Britney/Christina
5. Knit (I might need a refresher course though)
6. Play the piano
7. Shop in record time
Seven Celebrity Crushes
1. Johnny Depp
2. Josh Hartnett -those eyes
3. Jericho Rosales - very yummy Filipino actor
4. David Duchovny – strictly in his Mulder role only
5. Jeff Corwin – a guy who likes animals and getting down and dirty. Can’t go wrong here.
6. Cillian Murphy – brooding cute. Irish. I like. (see photo)
7. Ewan Macgregor – geeky cute. Scottish. I like.
Seven Often Repeated Words
1. That’s why (I think this is contagious)
3. You know
4. I mean…
5. It’s not that…
6. And then
7. I see
Seven Physical Traits I Look In The Opposite Sex
1. His eyes
2. His voice – and the way he talks
3. His laugh/smile
4. A certain natural scent – I don’t like men who douse themselves in cologne nor am I looking for a guy who reeks of B.O. But there’s this certain natural scent that some guys have… Pheromones that match mine I suppose.
7. The complete structure of his body – he doesn’t have to have a perfect body, as long as everything looks like its in place. Wait. That sounds wrong.
I didn’t tag anyone. I believe in free will (ok and the fact that Yolanda’s tagged the other bloggers I would’ve tagged myself) Feel free to enlighten me…
Monday, September 26, 2005
1. I cut my hair. I now have a fringe and I kinda like the 'Cleopatra' effect. Wilson thinks I look like a doll. Is that good or bad? I'll take it as a compliment.
2. I went to the Kinabalu Shell Press Awards. I left the press three years ago but I've kept close contact with my old reporter buddies. They're a fun bunch of people and made me the drinker i am today. Thanks guys :)
Anyway, the awards bit was alright but its always the after-party that i look forward too. Booze, dancing and old friends catching up. Till next year guys...
3. I lack sleep. Hence I am sleepy.
4. I had tom yam for lunch. It was delicious, just as I imagined it to be two hours before lunch time.
5. I didn't have breakfast because I was EXTREMELY late for work. But Haw gave me two of his tuna sandwiches so I survived.
6. Cowhead cheese biscuits are yummy.
7. I feel like eating pasta.
8. I think i'm PMS-ing.
9. I spent the weekend indulging in retail therapy. I bought three tops, a tiny skirt, three pairs of earrings, make-up and a dress. I don't know why but it made me disgustingly happy. Yes, it sounds materialisic but I'm PMS-ing so I don't really give a rats ass.
I'm gonna head home now. But before that, I'm grabbing Haw to have a drink (of the non-alcoholic kind, mind you) with me. I need to perk myself up. Can't wait for the day to be over...
Speak up if you've got a problem. It's important that you're able to accurately identify and voice areas in your life that aren't working. Go ahead and put your feelings on the line. Constructive change only happens when you're honest with yourself and others -- otherwise the universe might take matters into its own hands, and the results could be far more dramatic than if you take the initiative. The outcome will be far less frightening and more beneficial than you think.
The Bottom Line
Taking a risk -- especially a romantic one -- will earn you the rewards you're due.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
The weekend was spent relatively relaxing. I needed to get out of the house so I went to play Dawn Of War with some friends. I need practice but it felt good to blow up things. I went to watch Romero’s Land of The Dead with Haw and Charlie. The storyline was alright, the zombies were funny but they had some noteworthy gross-out bits so that made up for
it. Other than that, this movie will not change your life. Next on my Must Watch List is ‘The Exorcism of Emily Rose’. Yes, I’m probably gonna have a sleepless night but that’s never stopped me before, haha. Back to my weekend. Went for a quick drink at Lintas after the movie with Mia and Adrian. Sunday was spent shopping for Charlie’s birthday gift – two pairs of funky boxers and a couple of t-shirts.
Still recuperating at this point but had to attend a Thank You dinner hosted by the Minister. There was SO MUCH food (and yummy to boot. Damn) but I had to be careful because my tummy was still being a bitch. And there was free flow of beer and wine! Oh the pain of it all…
Had to work late again. Photo shoot for the magazine. Haw and I had to wait around for people to get their act together and I really get annoyed with that. It’s nine pm, I’m still in my work clothes and I just want to sleep at this point. But I still have a smile pasted on my face, trying to be Professional Mel.
Another photo shoot at the museum. We had to model traditional costumes and whoever said models had it easy got it wrong, big time. The costumes were heavy, my make-up was melting and trying to ‘look natural’ for two hours under those circumstances is tough. I had the chance to wear the traditional Murut costume, which is really interesting. I’ll post photos soon. At night, I was summoned to attend a function again and get some interviews done. There was wine again and this time I didn’t hold back. After that, my colleagues and I headed to a nearby pub for beers. Lots and lots and lots of beer. Felt so good to drink again *big, happy, contented smile*. No, I am not an alcoholic. I just enjoy the occasional glass of wine/beer/buzz-inducing beverage. I got home a bit tipsy (er, apologies again to those who received my incoherent phone calls last night, heh) but I slept like a baby.
And there’s today. How fast the week flies. I have a press conference to organize tomorrow so lots of running around today. My magazine is almost done (yay!) and I’m looking forward to relaxing weekend. I might go to a nearby island, just to laze on the beach and work on my tan (haha, tan. What a joke).
Ok peeps. Work beckons so I leave you with a song in my head…
“If you knew that love can break your heart
When you're down so low you cannot fall
Would you change?
Would you change?
How bad how good does it need to get?
How many losses how much regret?”
-Tracy Chapman, Change.
Friday, September 16, 2005
Fast forward dinner time, I’m puking my food out and my fever is making an encore appearance. I just want to lie down and hibernate for six months at this point. My brother visits me (I knew medical school would come in handy one day) and lo and behold, antibiotics are the only way to go at this point. Fine. Whatever. Just leave me alone so I can sleep. Everything’s fine till 3am and my fever is back. I drug myself up again and slip into blissful oblivion.
I take Thursday off and spend rest of the day trying to ‘rest’ but fail miserably. Instead, I feel depressed, lethargic, bored and restless. Yep, your regular ball of sunshine. And as a cherry on my shit of a sundae (no pun intended) , I develop something else. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have diarrhea.
I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s stress. Maybe it’s my late nights. Maybe it’s my late nights spent drinking. Maybe it’s my body telling to just stop treating it like crap. I’m supposed to celebrate a friend’s birthday tonight at Blue Note but I’ll have to sit this one out. Yes I’m disappointed because I was looking forward to a good night out with friends but hey, what’s another disappointment at this point?
Other than that, I’m peachy keen.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
In Between Dreams. That's Jack Johnson's latest album and it's my current ear candy. I bought the album - and no, not the RM10 one (if you love someone, go original I say!). Buying the album was unplanned and merely a lovely twist of fate. I spent Saturday with my colleague, Haw, and after breakfast, few rounds of pool and aimless roaming, we decided to hit the shopping mall to buy a pair of jeans. Almost an hour of bad service and 'sorry miss, no size' later, we decided it was not in God's Greater Plan for us to purchase jeans that day. However, being the retail junkie that I am, I refused to go home without buying anything. Shoes? Not today. Clothes? Hmm, nah. Maybe a quick pit stop to the CD shop. I blinked and there it was. Jack Johnson beckoning me on the second shelf. Should I? I picked it up. Put it down. Flipped through more CDs.
But Jack was still there. Patiently waiting.
So I picked it up with newfound resolution and utter glee. Made my purchase and held him tight to my chest, to be mine forevermore. I got home, slipped him into my CD player and our love affair began. He sang to me, while i curled up in bed wrapped in my pink rayon quasi-blanket and the rain started to fall outside. For a moment, I could almost feel him sitting at the edge of my bed, strumming his guitar and singing to me. Only me. So i listened as he told me about the perils of love and the simplicity of life. He talked about good people and difficult times. He spoke of disappointment but more importantly, hope. And we shared the same sentiment on sitting, waiting and wishing. Finally, I thought, someone who gets it. But best of all, he promised to make banana pancakes for me on a lazy morning. To unplug the phone, and for a moment, there would be no one else but us, enjoying each other. And banana pancakes, of course.
Monday, September 12, 2005
Friday, September 09, 2005
Putihmu bersih budi pekerti
Kuning berdaulat payung negara
Biru perpaduan kami semua
Puncak dunia telah kau tawan
Lautan luas telah kau redah
Membawa semangat jiwa merdeka
Semarak jaya kami warganya
Jalur gemilang di bawah naunganmu
Jalur gemilang kami semua bersatu
Amalan murni rakyat Malaysia
- Jalur Gemilang.
Yep, i sang this today. Not alone of course. Along with a 100 plus or so of the Ministry's officers and department heads. In batik kebayas and shirts. And then our Minister gave us a 'pep' talk, so to speak. I dunno what to make of it. I felt so 'government-y' but it was also nice to hear the minister say pleasant things about us for a change, rather than being screamed at.
It rained cats and dogs this morning and you can imagine how much more difficult that made
waking up at 5:45am. Oh ya, i forgot to mention that our little patriotic singing stint took place at 7am.
Seven am on a rainy friday morning...sigh.
But its ok because Friday lunch breaks are from 11:30 to 2pm, yay! But instead of watching a movie (as we usually do on Friday lunch breaks), we headed to Lintas for some delicious beef kon lau mein. Wah...so sedap i tell you. A bit of promo here: It's located at the driving range place in Lintas, only available during lunch time for RM4.50 a plate. Go get yours today!
It's almost four thirty and i'm all 'written out' at this point. My colleagues have left early (Haw has a dentist's appointment and Zee is not well. Melina took the day off) and here i am, listening to Heather Headley moaning about how she wished she never met you so you couldn't hurt her. On a happier note, IT'S FRIDAY PEOPLE! And the Fridaycat is ready to play. Tonight, Shenanigan's is the place to be. Heard DB8 is back (a band from the Philippines who has quite a following here in KK) and will be interesting to see if they're still as good as they used to be. No heavy drinking today, just good times with good friends.
Ok, maybe just a wee bit of wine...
Say hello to the weekend!
When you have to look away
When you don't have much to say
That's when I love you, I love you just that way
To hear you stumble when you speak
Or see you walk with two left feet
That's when I love you.
-Aslyn, 'That's When I Love You'... Some people are so jaded aren't they? nice song, albeit.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
by Jack Johnson
Well I was sitting, waiting, wishing
You believed in superstitions
Then maybe you'd see the signs
The Lord knows that this world is cruel
I ain't the Lord, I'm just a fool and in love with somebody
don't make them love you
Must I always be waiting, waiting on you
Must I always be playing, playing your fool
I sang your songs, I danced your dance
I gave your friends all a chance
Putting up with them wasn't worth ever having you
Maybe you've been through this before
But it's my first time so please ignore
These next few lines because they're directed at you
I can't always be waiting, waiting on you
I can't always be playing, playing your fool
I keep playing your part
But it's not my scene
Want this plot to twist
I've had enough mystery
Keep building it up
Then shooting me down
But I'm already down
Just wait a minute
Just sitting, waiting
Just wait a minute
Just sitting, waiting
Well if I was in your position
I'd put down all my amuntintion
I'd wonder why it had taken me so long
But the lord knows that I'm not you and if I was
I wouldn't be so cruel cause waitin' on love ain't so easy to do
Must I always be waiting, waiting on you
Must I always be playing, playing your fool
Excellent song. Cool video.
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
“Once I was all so alone
Unsteady and cold
But your love rained down upon me
Washing away uncertainty
But now I am free.”
Mariah Carey’s ‘I Am Free’ from her Daydream album, before her ‘look-at-my-big-ya-yas’ days. I’ll confess I’m a Mariah fan, especially her earlier stuff. Her first album still remains my favourite. ‘Vision Of Love’ and ‘Someday’ showcased her eight-octave range really well and she wasn’t doing too much of that heavy breathing stuff. And she didn’t have lyrics like “Mariah…You’re on fai-ah (fire)”.
Right now I’m listening to her Daydream album in the office, 8:50 on a Wednesday morning. Still getting my engines running. I’m in a writing mood so I just might get some work done today, yay. Yesterday I hit a writing wall where it took me seven hours to write three paragraphs. I spent most of the time planning an imaginary holiday to Koh Samui. Now if only I had the money…
On another musical note, I’m into John Legend these days. He has a gospel/R&B sound so if you’re looking for something refreshing from the usual radio-friendly songs, tune in. I really like ‘Used to Love You’ and the video is pretty cool – a church, a gospel choir and Kanye West. It’s not something I usually listen to but I admit I’m hooked. And take a listen to ‘Ordinary People’ – the arrangement is simple but it’s the lyrics that got me. It’s nice to listen to songs that make you go hmm. More songs on my playlist these days:
Best of You – Foo Fighters
Don’t Lie – Black Eyed Peas
We Belong Together – Mariah Carey
You Oughta Know – Alanis (acoustic version)
Rest In Pieces – Saliva
Only Happy When It Rains – Garbage
Behind These Hazel Eyes – Kelly Clarkson
Close To You – The Carpenters (don’t ask. There’s something relaxing about an oldie)
Cool – Gwen Stefani
Cadillac Pimpin’ – Youngbloodz (compliments of my brother, Ted, who’s a big rap fan)
There you have it. Sometimes I whip out some really old stuff from the 80s. They’ve got better love songs to be honest. Also, you’d be surprised at how good some movie soundtracks are. I like the sappy ones, heh. I recommend the following:
1.One Fine Day (Natalie Merchant’s version of ‘One Fine Day’ is noteworthy)
2.My Best Friend’s Wedding (great mix, including Amanda Marshall and Tony Bennett)
3.French Kiss (great way to learn some French songs, heh. I like the French version of ‘Dream a Little Dream of Me’)
4.You’ve Got Mail
5.The Wedding Singer (Eighties. Need I say more? And Adam Sandler’s original ‘I Wanna Grow Old With You’ *sigh*)
Last night I went for happy hours after work. It was a good session with my workmates. Unwinding after a long day, bitching about work and drowning our misery in beer. We were joined by two other friends –a photographer and tour guide (friends of the industry we call them)- and more beer started pouring in. And then Viv and Toi joined us and soon we were one big happy drinking family. We had dinner after drinks and by nine pm it was time to get home. Last night was good. Last night I was happy again. Need to do more of that.
Monday, September 05, 2005
No, I am not going to ramble about the Monday blues and why everyone hates Mondays. I feel like crawling back into bed. In fact, I spent a good part of the morning sitting in my swivel chair and hugging Bobby Jo (my pink stuffed cat, courtesy of Mia) and staring into space. Given my hectic weekend, I think my spacing out was well-deserved.
Friday was spent at the Magellan Grand Ballroom, final rehearsals for the Sabah Tourism Awards. Long story short, there was a lot of waiting around and we wrapped everything up by midnight. A bunch of hungry people then staggered to the coffee shop next to The Cottage. They serve the yummiest wo-tehs (deep fried pork dumplings) and delicious sotong bakar. Hunger satiated, I went home and crashed.
Enter Saturday. The big day. We had to be at the ballroom by five pm so I spent the earlier part of the day getting ready. Always the fun part, heh heh. Everyone looked so good dolled up and the guys looked like secret agents in their tuxedos. After the last briefing and a quick dinner, it was showtime. We had around 950 people to keep happy so needless to say, we were on our toes all night. Cue the presenters! Spotlight on table 30! Applause! Keep the wine flowing! And my back was killing me from all the standing around but it’s ok because my shoes were so pretty, haha. The show finally ended close to midnight and all I could think of was taking my shoes off. Job well done, so we all decided to celebrate at Blue Note (bring out the bottles!). Of course, I wasn’t about to party in my flowing skirt so in true party-style, I had a pair of jeans ready in the car. I couldn’t be bothered to find a dressing room so with a bit of dexterous maneuvering, I managed to slip on my party gear while in the passenger seat. Heh, how bout that for skills?
In Blue Note, the party was already in full swing but it only took a couple of glasses to get all of us going (forgot to mention that we already polished a bottle -or two- of wine back in the ballroom). Everyone had a good time, sharing the sentiment of ‘It’s finally over!’ and letting our hair down after weeks –no, months, of hard work. I was careful not to mix my drinks and be a hero again this time. Lots of singing, plenty of laughing and several drunken moments of doing the sumazau (the traditional Kadazan dance, for those not in the know). I got home at four a.m, exhausted but very happy.
Sunday. Major headache. Need. More. Sleep. But it’s daddy’s birthday so we’re off to a grand seafood lunch at Salut. Took almost half an hour to get there and to endure the torturous heat along with my throbbing headache was utter madness. But I pulled through. Dad was happy to see everyone together and that made it all worthwhile. And after a corny joke or two from daddy, I started to forget about my headache. However, on the ride home, I fell asleep in the car within ten minutes. We reached home, I stumbled out of my jeans and into bed and was in la la land for another hour and a half.
So here I am, still bleary eyed and recuperating from my weekend. Gonna take it easy today. Unless someone calls me out la… Heh heh, kidding.
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Will Ferrell makes me happy, yes he does. I watched 'Anchorman' last night and i haven't laughed so much in a while. I loved Will Ferrell in 'A Night at the Roxbury' and he just keeps getting better! He's one of those actors where I just have to look at his face and it makes me laugh (refer to left to see what i'm talking about). I also love Ben Stiller. They're so insanely ridiculous that you have to love them!
Anyway, 'Anchorman' is about the legendary news anchor Ron Burgundy. It's set in the 70s where women still aren't see on TV delivering the news as lead anchors. Burgundy comes with a messed-up team: The crude and lewd sportscaster, the self-loving reporter who thinks he's God's gift to women and the weatherman with an IQ of 48 (really, he has an IQ of 48). Still, they're the number one news crew in the whole of San Diego but when Christina Applegate's character, Veronica Corningstone, joins the station, things become interesting. She's definitely smarter than all four wackos combined but because she's a woman, she gets assignments that involve pet fashion shows and the like. Long story short, Veronica tries to prove her talent while dodging sexist retards in her station -namely Ferrell and co.-and she succeeds. Well, kinda. There's always a feel-good ending where everyone learns their lesson. I dunno about you but although I was rooting for Veronica's character most of the time, there's something lovable about Burgundy and loser buddies too. There are so many ROFL moments for me, so i can't exactly pinpoint which is my favourite. However, here are the most noteworthy scenes:
1. Five TV stations news crews meet in a back alley to 'fight it out', gangster style. Someone's arm actually gets cut off and all he says is, "I did NOT see that coming."
"My hair does NOT look bad!"
2. Roy Burgundy tries to impress Veronica Corningstone with the history of San Diego: "The name San Diego is actually German for 'whale's vagina'."
3. After exchanging insults, Veronica pauses for dramatic effect and says the 'ultimate' insult to Ron: "You have bad hair." Everyone gasps. Ron says in a quivering voice ,"That...was uncalled for."
4. Ron throws a burrito out of his moving vehicle, hits a biker, who skids off the road and ruins his precious bike. Really pissed off, he tells Ron that he's ruined the one thing he loves the most. He asks Ron what he loves most. "Well, I love poetry. And i love my dog here, Baxter." Upon which the biker picks up the dog and punts him off the bridge.
5. Burgundy playing the jazz flute at a bar. You have to watch it to see what I mean.
The movie has such ridiculous moments when you least expect it. Watch it if you're in need of a pick up on a gloomy day. Brad Pitt is hot but Will Ferrell is DA MAN!