Monday, February 28, 2005

Oh Tuhanku.

I tend to read the Malay subtitles on TV. It's annoying but you can't ignore them neither. You'd be surprised how entertaining the translations can be. Few years back on an X-Files episode (ah yes, the days when watching TV brought meaning to my life), Scully was asking Mulder, "How do you kill it?" (referring to some monster thingy). Mulder replies, "The same way you kill a rabid animal."

Translation: "Seperti membunuh seekor arnab."

RABID, people, not RABBIT. Oh and also, in another episode, Mulder says, "I've always wanted a peg-leg."

Translation: "Saya inginkan kaki khinzir."

Yes indeed, Mulder has always dreamed of having a PIG leg. Another famous one is one of those war movies where a soldier throws a grenade and shouts, "Duck!" And yes, you guessed it, our trusty translators decide that it means, "Itik!" Quack, quack.

But most recently, the biggest boo-boo i've seen on Astro was on the Oprah Winfrey Show. Jim Carrey says to Oprah, "I don't want to talk about it anymore. No more. Period."

Translation (get ready for this): "Saya tak nak cakap tentang hal ini lagi. Tidak lagi. Menstruasi."
Oh. My. God.

Press be asking do I care for sodomy
I don't know, yeah, probably
I've been looking for serial monogamy
Not some bird that looks like Billy Connolly
But for now I'm down for ornithology
Grab your binoculars, come follow me
- Robbie Williams and Kylie Minogue, Kids. Translate THIS.

Friday, February 25, 2005

Yesterday...

...all my troubles seemed so far away.

But 'twas yesterday I also got a nice, white ticket flapping on my windshield. Apparently i have RM253.00 worth of unpaid parking tickets. Ok sure, let me go pluck some notes off the money tree i've got growing in my backyard. Please. Like i don't have enough things to pay for these days. Car and life insurance, Astro, handphone bill, monthly car payment...yada yada yada.

Oh and did i mention my squeaky tyre?

And to top off my misery, i come home to discover that my dad has (brace yourself) unsubscribed the Cartoon Network on our Astro. Noooooooooo!!!!! I mean, cancelling the Chinese channels i can understand (the only time we utilize it is when the Miss Chinese International Pageant is on...Go figure, i have two brothers). I panicked when i flipped to channels 61 and 62 and saw them blank.

Me: But dad, what if Francine and Leilana (my nieces) come over? What are they gonna watch now? *gulp. cold sweat*
Dad: They've got their dvds and videos. They'll be fine.
Me: But....they ALWAYS watch the cartoon network (i conveniently forget to add 'with me' at the end of my sentence)
Dad: What to do la.
Mum: Why? Did YOU want the cartoon network?
Me: *trying to act 25* No la. I was just thinking of the girls.

Yeah right.

Anyway, I spent the evening cooking dinner for my parents, watched the Hallmark channel (Strong Medicine is pretty good) and got some reading done. Yeah my life is a non-stop rave party, ain't it? I wanted to call my girlfriends out but since my mum was home alone, i thought i should spend some time with her.

Maybe today will be more eventful.

"It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right,
I hope you had the time of your life..."
-Green Day, Time of Your Life.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

It's getting hot in here.

It's too hot. I know i can't stand the cold neither but seriously, it's just getting too hot out there. I spent the first half of the day driving around town, getting stuff done and lunch was spent at a client's open house event at their office. They pitched a tent, had a lion and dragon dance performance, and fed everyone well. Thing is, having lunch outdoors -even under a tent- at 12:30pm in MALAYSIA is never a good idea. And you know what they serve? Beef rendang. Chicken curry. Satay. And sambal. It's really tough trying to look half-decent at a luncheon with three gallons of sweat pouring down your face, a plate of food balancing on your knee and curry dripping down your chin. Speaking of hot weather, i read this in Glamour UK magazine last night. It was something about "Exciting Places to Get It On" and this guy shared how having sex in a sauna is NOT one of those places: "It was so hot. It felt like i was having sex on the sun." I dunno why but i thought that was an interesting comparison, heh heh.

Anyway, back in the office, the first blast of air-conditioning is pure heaven. But after half an hour, it just gets too cold again and i start bundling up in my jacket. It's madness, i tell you.
Weather-bitching aside, my car is making funny noises. I think it's one of the wheels. My sister was commenting on it the other day.

Sis: What's that noise?
Me: What noise?
Sis: *turns down radio volume* That noise (refers to squeaking/creaking noise)
Me: Oh that. I think it's the tyre at the back.
Sis: Aren't you worried? It could get worse. Better do something about it.
Me: Nah, it goes away once in a while.
Sis: It does? How?
Me: *turns up the radio volume* See? No more funny noises.

Yeah, i'm a smart ass and i'll probably regret being one when i have to fork out six million bucks to fix my squeaky tyre.

"I know that there is pain, but won't you hold on for one more day,
Break free, break from the chains."
- Wilson Phillips, Hold On. Here's hoping my car will hold on for just a coupla more days.

Monday, February 21, 2005

Mel's World

A day in the perfect working world of Mel:

The alarm clock rings. I roll over, not annoyed at all -because in my world- i've had enough sleep and it's 8am. The sun is shining but it's not too hot. I leisurely get ready for work and meet up with my friends for a breakfast at a nearby coffee shop. I take my sweet time-because in my world- i don't have to get to the office till 10am.

I finally get to the office, where my clean, uncluttered desk awaits me. My boss calls me into her room. Hey, she's giving me a raise! I get back to my desk and get some writing done. The clock says its noon and its lunch time. I have sushi for lunch. I get back to the office and, magically, all my paperwork's done and the magazine is finished for the month! In fact, all 13,000 copies have been printed, packed and distributed because - in my world - i have little elves to do my work for me when I'm busy with other things. My boss is happy. I get another raise.

I look at my watch and it's already 3:30pm. I'm happy -because in my world- my day is done and i get to go home, go for a jog, shower, buy a pair of shoes and spend the evening with my honey.

And i live happily ever after.

Disclaimer: I have to clock in by 8am everyday, rush through lunch hour, attend dull meetings, and sit through the damn traffic jam at 5pm. Sigh. On a good day, i get to work outside the office. Don't mind me, i'm just feeling the Monday pinch.

"Waiting on a Sunday afternoon for what I read between the lines...
Your lies. "
- Stone Temple Pilots, Interstate Love Song

Friday, February 18, 2005

Of oohs, aahs, aches and pains.

I spent my Wednesday at a spa. I was asked to do a write-up of the place and in return they gave me a free three and a half hour session. Normally I'd be happy as a clam to do these things but i've just recovered from my bout of flu and i was a bit worried about getting a massage with my clogged nose.

Anyway, i arrived at 11am (after making only ONE wrong turn this time) and was whisked straight to my 'session'. After i stripped down to my birthday suit -they gave me a robe so i still had some modesty intact, ehem- my first treatment was a thallaso foot bath. Basically, my masseuse, Christine, scrubbed my feet with some grainy stuff and bathed my feet in floating petals. Can you say 'princess'? heh. Next was my body scrub. Maybe i'm a prude but i'm not too crazy about being butt naked in front of strangers but since this was part of my job so to speak, i had to grin and 'bare' it (they give you disposable undies so, again, it could have been worse).


So she scrubs every inch (ok not EVERY inch) of my body with jasmine rice and oatmeal. It sounds strange but smells divine. After it dries up, everything is rinsed off with cucumber mush (c-c-cold) and i take a quick shower the rinse of what's left. Christine then leaves me alone in the room for my milk bath in the jacuzzi. Twenty minutes of soaking in milk and rose water, surrounded by candles and soft music - yeah completely cliched but i wasn't complaining! It definitely beat sitting behind my desk...

Next up: My Balinese massage. Basically, it's nice and not-so-nice at the same time. Nice because Christine managed to get rid of aches and pains i didn't even know i had. And not so nice because i discovered aches and pains i didn't even know i had. I actually dozed off the last ten minutes of my massage. I woke up and was ready for my facial. It was pretty nice except when the lady started massaging my shoulders and neck. I could hear a strange cracking sound and she told me it was the air in my body. Whatever it was...It hurt like hell. Anyway, she does the whole facial thingy and leaves my mask on for 40 minutes. FORTY minutes? i hear you exclaim. Trust me, it feels even longer if you were the one smothered with gunk, with no one to talk to for forty minutes. And then there was some eye treatment thingy which basically felt like someone was removing my eye-make up. But more refreshing.

So three and a half hours later, its back to office except that now i feel a lot lighter and my body's a tad greasy: you can't shower immediately after a massage. I could definitely get used to this.

Now my body feels like its been pounded, kneaded and grinded (what am i saying, it has been...) I thought i was supposed to feel better?


"Must've been love....but it's overrrrr now..."
-me in a Roxette mood.

Monday, February 14, 2005

I feel icky.Oh so icky.

Good to be back, y'all. The week-long break was just what i needed but knowing my luck, I'm back at work, ravaged by the flu. Sniff. Cough. Hack. Yeah, I'm a real pretty picture at work today. Let me update you with my recent activities:

Tuesday, 8th Feb: Chinese New Year eve. Had a nice family dinner at home followed by a second round in Papar (my 'kampung', about forty five minutes drive from KK). Of course, the highlight was ang pow time, heh. Yep, as expected, the usual "Too old for you to be receiving ang pow..." speech was delivered every fifteen minutes but what the hey, as long as i get my moolah, they can say what they want. Cousins proceeded to play 'Twister' and realise 'gee, we might be getting too old for this' but had a blast anyway. My 24 year old cousin, Choms, was the champ. 2:30am: Arrive home and off to bed.

Wed,9th Feb: Visited Wilson today. Gorged on dried pork, nuts, crackers, cookies, oranges...You name it. That night, my friends and i get together to 'hoi toi' - which i learnt means 'gambling time!'. We played Black Jack, accused each other of cheating, ate, drank and laughed. After we drained Adrian of his earnings, muahaha, we decided to play Risk. Ah yes, global domination! It was good fun. Except that by 2am everyone was having a hard time remembering who owns the continents of Asia and Africa.

Thurs, 10th Feb: Second day of Chinese New Year. Visited two more houses with Lester. Collected ang pows - always a good thing!- and endured the worst headache. Little did i know that this was the sign of things to come...

Fri,11th Feb: Body feels out of sorts. Kinda rubbery. My sis thinks it's definitely signs of the flu. I'm in denial. I can't get sick now. I've got a whole weekend to enjoy before monday rolls around! Friday night i'm too drained to hoi toi with the gang, so lester spends the evening with me on the couch, aww. We watch EuroTrip and right when a young,nubile blonde takes her top off and rubs her breasts in the hot tub, my dad walks by. Murphy's law.

Sat, 12th Feb: Ugh, not feeling better. But i promised Lester i'd drop by his place for a while. I take him out for lunch, we head back to his place and while he watches the Discovery channel, i'm on the PS2. We both get tired, take a nap and by 5:30pm,i head home. I hit the sack early, knocked out by flu tablets. Nice.

Sun 13th Feb: I have to work today. Went on a photo shoot with David Kirkland at the Mai Aman Homestay Resort in Papar. Brought out Dutch interns along as models. Everything was fine and dandy...Till i had to eat a grilled sago worm. But i must say, they smell really good once they're cooked. They taste like peanuts actually. But that said, i don't think i'll be adding those critters to my list of favourite food anytime soon. Went home, once again collapsed in bed thanks to my trusty drugs. Felt a wee bit better come evening so i went to watch Constantine in the cinema. It was alright. It's Keanu Reeves so i can't complain much, heh. And Rachel Weisz is delicious, don't you think?

So here we are, Monday. And i still feel like crap. I can't breathe and everything tastes like water. I'm coughing and hacking and grossing my colleagues out. My boss won't touch me with a stick and i don't blame her. I think i'll take half the day off, spare myself (and those around me actually) the misery.

Oh, happy Valentine's day. In my 26 years, I've never celebrated it, usually due to circumstance but i've come to the conclusion that i'm destined to never celebrate it. My only date tonight is with the bed - and not in THAT way, mind you. But it's all good :)

"Sometimes I wanna give up,
I wanna give in, I wanna quit the fight
And then I see you baby
And everything's alright, everything's alright."
- Bad English, When I See You Smile.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Oranges are not the only fruit.

Actually that's a title of a book by Jeanette Winterson. It was one of the books we had to read for Literary Criticism back in uni. Anyway, it comes to mind everytime i look at my desk, overladen with -you guessed it- oranges. It's that time of the year where the fruit du jour is indeed these citrusy little babies.

Everyday, at least two (mandarin) oranges appear on my table. Yesterday four BOXES arrived at the office and because so many people are already on leave for the Chinese New Year, what's left of us here have to bring back more than the usual share of oranges. Ugh. And if that's not enough, there are a couple of boxes waiting at home. Tis the season to be orange-y.

This will probably be one of the few blogs i'll write this week. The week-long holiday begins today and i've got no internet access at home for the mo (oh the horror!). We've been given half day off but i still have to run off to the Rasa Ria beach resort in Tuaran for a photo shoot. My manager wants me to have a look-see to make sure everything's running smoothly. Ah well, i'll get to check out some models so it'll be bearable, heh heh.

I've got to get home in time for the reunion dinner though. You know, i find it interesting how my Chinese blood kicks in during Chinese New Year. I mean, nobody in my family speaks the language (except dad but i've heard him converse twice in Hakka in my whole life) and I don't look the part. I don't even dare consider myself half Chinese because i live up so little to the culture. It's all kinda complicated because on top of all this, my surname is Leong.

Yeah, go figure.

Some people think i look like Chinese, some say Kadazan. I think i look like my mum. But back to Chinese New Year. It's cool how we 'sorta' celebrate it. We do the whole reunion dinner thing but our dishes aren't traditionally Chinese. We don't necessarily buy new clothes for the occassion but my parents have this thing about wearing only bright colours and to stay away from black. And we get ang pows. Ka-ching! Easily the best part of Chinese New Year for me, heh heh. Of course, as i get older every year, aunties and uncles declare loud enough for the whole KK to hear, "Wah so old oredi...Bila lagi kamu mau bagi kami ang pow?" Loosely translated to, "My look how old you are. So when will it be your turn to give us ang pows?" Also translated as, "Can't get anyone to marry you yet, huh? Poor thing."

I love family gatherings. Wish me luck.

I believe when the Kingdom comes,
Then all the colors will bleed into one
Bleed into one
But yes i'm still running.
-U2, I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For


Monday, February 07, 2005

Sorry, did you say something?

My boyfriend, Lester, offered to drive me around town this morning. I had to browse for coffee shops that serve 'ngau chap', for the magazine of course. And i couldn't drive and look around at the same time so i needed someone to assist me. I thought it was really sweet of him to offer, considering he's not working today and that he might prefer to laze around in bed rather than play chauffeur for me.

I figured out the hard way that my assumption was spot on.

First off, i always knew he wasn't a morning person. That's our main difference: I love getting up early and getting the most of my day but i start to nod off way before midnight. Lester, on the other hand, can sleep into the afternoon but stay up till 3am. So yeah, mid-afternoon to early evening are the times when we're both fully operational simultaneously.

But i digress. As i was saying, getting up before 9am was probably asking a bit too much from him. The minute i stepped into his car with a perky 'Hi!' his gloomy expression said it all. He was sleepy -having had a late night-, had a headache coming on and the works. To make a long story short, we drove around for two hours in silence. My attempt to make a joke turned offensive which soured him even more. And when he finally tried to make conversation, you could almost feel him using every ounce of willpower to do so. I hate forced conversations. You can smell them a mile away. Halfway, i even asked him to send me home so i could just get my car, drive myself and he could go back and get more rest. And, after all the talk about being sleepy, having a headache etc., he tells me, "No really, i want to do this for you." In my head, i'm like, "But every bone in your body doesn't." I just couldn't help but wonder was the luxury of being chauffeured around worth the deafening silence? I wanted to jump out the window at every red light. Instead, i chewed on my pen.

So i decided to keep quiet. We even had breakfast in silence. He told me not to take it personally. Okay. More silence. I paid for breakfast and we were outta there. And as if God wasn't amused enough, the whole of KK was experiencing a massive jam (Chinese New Year, expected). So it was more silence and the car not moving any faster to my office. I started playing tic tac toe with myself. I won all three times. I turned on the radio and all the stations were playing mushy love songs. Where's Marilyn Manson when you need him?

I guess that's what it's like when i'm pms-ing and the boyfriend is trying hard to get something out of me other than, "What?" "Mmm" "No" and *sigh* Yes, I was highly annoyed and offended with his behaviour but i suppose everyone's entitled to having their bitchy days. The trick is to stay away from them when this ill phenomenon occurs. I wish there was a sign, like the moon turning blue or little voices in your head going, "Stay away! Stay away!" (I'm sure you men agree on this).

I was just disappointed. I was excited at the prospect of spending the short time in between work. You know that excitement you feel on Christmas eve because you get to open your presents the next day? Or you've had a long day at work and you can picture your dog waiting to greet you at the door? It's that kind of anticipation. But it's no one's fault. Just bad timing. Ah well, there's always Gaya waiting for me at home :)

"You say it best...When you say nothing at all."
-Ronan Keating, When You Say Nothing At All. Haha i just couldn't resist!

Saturday, February 05, 2005

The Visionary has spoken.

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness. Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connect to your soul.

You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable. Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings.

You have great vision and can be very insightful. In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself. Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend.

You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer

http://www.blogthings.com/kindsoulquiz.html

In my element.

Your Element Is Earth

You excel at planning and strategizing.You could be a champ at chess or Survivor.

Well grounded, you are able to be realistic and rationalize. On the inside, you have a hard core. It's tough to phase you.

You are super productive, and you are able to think anything through. Focused and super charged, your instincts are a good guide for your next step.

http://www.blogthings.com/elementquiz.html

Grr.

It's very unnatural to be working on a Saturday, don't you think? I mean, although I'm used to it, doesn't mean that I like it. And they make us work half day. Half day? You want to know what honestly goes on during a 'half' working day?

8 am - Punch in. Check e-mails
8:15 - make tea, read newspapers. Check some more e-mails
8:30 - notice that some people have just arrived for work and wonder why i bother coming in
on time. Check more e-mails.
9:00 - chat with people online, blog.
9:15 - fill in online surveys while chatting so i look busy
9:30 to 10:30 - whine about working on a Saturday. clean desk, rearrange pens, sharpen pencils,
read magazines for 'research'
10:30 to 11:30 - head down to the bakery for a mid-day snack. chat with colleagues, reply
e-mails
11:30 to 12:00 - Realise, "Yay almost time to leave!", surf the net for more nonsense, fwd them
to friends, call friends and make plans for lunch.
12:00 to 12:30 - plan work for next week. Get bored. rearrange pens. doodle. talk to colleagues
about what's showing in the cinema.
12:30 to 12:45 - get ready to leave, drum fingers impatiently on table
12:45 -head downstairs (i work on the third floor i make my way down sloooooowly)
12:50 - hang around the punch-card area, chat with people who work downstairs
12:55 - keep checking my watch.
12:58 - damn clock ticking so slow
12:59 - massive crowd gathers around punch card area
1 pm - outta here.

I love working for the government.

"Sorry i'm not in right now, i'm working on my spider web, so leave a message and i'll call you back..."

-No Doubt, Spider Web

Thursday, February 03, 2005

What's my age again?

You Are 28 Years Old
28

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Ok, so how do you explain my facination with Barney the purple dinosaur?

Cat stretch.

Ah Thursday. I can almost smell the weekend. Then again i might be working this weekend so big difference that makes. When nobody's looking in the office, what do you do? I like to do cat stretches. I make sure no one's looking (or better, nobody's around) and i lean back and stretch. Now, this isn't ANY stretch. I slump my body halfway down the chair, my arms go all the way above my head and my toes are pointed straight down. And then my back curls in and my head goes back...Followed by a very satisfied sigh. It's therapeutic i tell you. But the trick is to REALLY stretch, till you can almost hear every muscle celebrating in joy. Blissful.

Yesterday was a long day. I had a four-hour meeting, brainstorming ideas for our upcoming promotional photo shoot and checking out models - not as exciting as you might think. We were short of another Asian guy. The photographer, an Aussie dude, wanted someone whose fun personality would show on the photos, not someone who just looked 'pretty'. I racked my head all day thinking of guys who might fit this bill. Got la...and then i realised the guys i had in mind were in KL and not KK. Darn. Back to square one. Anyway, after the meeting, i had to go and source for a white one piece swimsuit for the shoot. Needless to say, i only explored one shopping mall and i was done for the day. Plus, i still had the magazine to work on...aaarrgh! Work and drudgery aside, the evening fared better. I went for drinks with Mia and Selina at Arriva's (i thought they meant Ariefa, the mamak stall, at first).

Me: Ariefa?
Mia: Ya in Lintas. Nice place, there's beer and stuff, even a pool table
Sel: It's the one in the corner (mind you, the mamak shop is also located at the corner, in Lintas as well so at this point, i'm still lost)
Me: They have beer?
Mia: Ya, quite classy the place.
Me: thinking to self *Ariefa has a pool table?????*

Of course, everything clears up once i drive to Lintas and actually SEE the huge neon sign board that says -you guessed it- Arriva's.

I always thought the place was actually called 'Arrival's' but the L fell off.

Anyway, we had beer - i had a sorta-beer, also known as Shandy- and nuggets. And french fries. Dinner of champions. So we sat around talking: Sel and her quest for a puppy (I still can't get over the fact that she has a pet chick that sleeps in a sock at night), Mia scaring the bejesus out of me with her hotel ghost stories and me telling them i don't wanna hear any more scary stories, thankyouverymuch. And then it starts to rain. Talk about dramatic effect.

Friends are fun. It was just what i needed after a long day at the office. That, and a cat stretch.

"Sunday morning, rain is falling,
Steal some covers, share some skin,
Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable,
You twist to fit the mold that I am in."
-Maroon 5, Sunday Morning (which seems like five million light years away)






Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Maggi mee for lunch.

Some days, i give up wondering what i should have for lunch. Today is one of those days. Hence, i had maggi mee, perisa ayam no less. And then my boss invites me for lunch Part 2, in which i ended up walking to Centrepoint with her and grabbing a grilled lamb kebab. Made me think: Maggi who? Yes, i am such an oinker but it would have been rude of me to decline my boss's invitation.

Yes, ok and also the fact that i am indeed an oinker.

I cleaned my keyboard today. I just figured out that i can actually pluck each and every key out from the keyboard and polish them one by one! And you don't wanna know the things that were breeding beneath the keys. I found:

1. hair
2. dust balls
3. crunchy noodles
4. insect droppings
5. insects

...Add a pinch of salt and bring to a boil. haha. I was told that they've NEVER cleaned the keyboard since they bought it. And that's like three years now. Gross. I polished each and every key and now, my keyboard is glistening! It even smells new (i used some sort of disinfectant to get that clean smell). If i had a digital camera, i'd post a pic of my keyboard right here! Once i started cleaning, my colleague got fascinated and started cleaning hers too. Thing is, my fingers are a bit red and sore from plucking and polishing. Ah well, well worth the trouble. In fact, I'm gonna go home and clean my keyboard there! - i'm not lifeless, just...methodically clean.

Today, I am also going to watch mindless TV. Have you seen Manhunt on Astro? I find it both appalling and amazing at how self-absorbed some people can be. And strangely, all these people live in the state of D-E-N-I-A-L. "They don't know it yet...But they're gonna be so sorry they eliminated me because, like, i'm gonna be the next big thing...You'll see..." and then his pouty lips start to tremble and his eyes well up but in true 'man' style, holds it back, runs his hand through his hair and turns away from the camera. Uh yeah, ok. Can you blame me for watching this stuff? Ok, besides the blinding fact that most of them are pretty hot (Hey same reason you men watch America's Next Top Model and Baywatch, so no finger pointing).

And now they're gonna show Outback Jack - 12 hot chicks and 1 hubba hubba. Mission: hot chicks chucked in the Outback must get hubba hubba's attention. Brainpower needed to watch this: minus 20. Ratings: sky high. Will i watch it: High possibility - stay tuned.

"When I wake up in my makeup, It's too early for that dress,
Wilted and faded somewhere in Hollywood
I'm glad I came here, With your pound of flesh
No second billing cause you're a star now
Oh, Cinderella, They aren't sluts like you"
- Hole, Celebrity Skin.