Meow Meow Purr Purr

Things that go lump in the night.

2009-11-26T00:01:00.002+08:00

I've been trying to drift off for the last hour but all I do is listen to the whirring of the ceiling fan. No, I haven't been watching horror movies that give me sleepless nights. Again.

It's a lump. And God forbid I be dramatic about it but if you knew me better...Here comes the drama.

Everybody's telling me it's nothing. I've even been told it could be a lump of fat, seeing I've put on weight (nice. two blows). Or maybe I should massage it away. And, hey, it's not even that obvious.

I know that there's a 90 percent chance...No no....98 percent chance it really IS nothing. Just an extra mound of flesh inconveniently making its presence known on the lower end of my neck. It doesn't hurt. But I just wish it wasn't there. Can you blame me?

A lump. It's just a lump. I really am getting ahead of myself. I know everyone's trying to pooh-pooh it because maybe, just maybe, if everyone pooh-poohs enough, it won't even exist.

Except it's not growing on THEIR necks.

So yes, I'm going to let myself 'dramatize' this whole lump episode even though it's very likely it'll be gone in a few days. For starters, I'm getting it checked out tomorrow. And then I'm going to get a second opinion - preferably from a doctor who doesn't share my DNA just to be extra sure.

It's a lump. Just a lump. But if it turns out to be a lot more than a just a lump, I'm going to be very, very angry.

Belly laugh.

2009-11-18T19:24:00.002+08:00

You know what makes a good day? A heartfelt belly laugh that makes your sides ache and your eyes water. Here are my favourite belly laugh moments this week (bah, it might not make sense to everyone.Then again, humour is subjective no?)

1. Putting absurd lyrics to existing movie themes ie Jurassic Park ("I'm a dinosaur...I'm a dinosaur...") and Indiana Jones ( "Indianaaaa on a horse...Indianaaa, he can even do morse")

2. Will Ferrell's classic lines: "The last time I heard that joke, I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur!" and "San Diego is German for whale's vagina."

3. Conversation overheard at a DVD shop:
Man: Kamu ada wayang Dua Puluh Dua Belas? (literally, Twenty Twelve)
DVD seller: Adaaaaaa!
Man: Clear ka?
DVD seller: Ya ya clear! Baru dari panggung wayang ni (Fresh from the cinema).

Have you had a belly laugh lately?

The Mel-isms of Travel

2009-11-12T23:11:00.003+08:00

It's so cliched but sometimes you need to get away to discover yourself. Travelling reveals more about yourself than you'd like to know, truth be told. I was in Bangkok recently and although I was with my brother and a colleague, I spent plenty of quality time with myself most of the days. So here's what I've noticed:

1. I always choose the aisle seat in an airplane. I don't care much for legroom seeing my hobbit-like stature doesn't require much, but I am particular about easy access. I hate sheepishly tapping the person beside me - who is already in deep slumber judging by the gurgling sounds he's making - to make way for me to use the lavatory. But I totally don't mind giving way to him if he needs to use the toilet for the 567th time. Translated: I'm a people-pleaser, even at the cost of my convenience. Okay everyone...Can you spell "Doormat?"

2. I check to see if my boarding pass and passport are with me every 5 minutes. I am paranoid. I get sweaty palms just thinking about misplacing them. Translated: Pa-ra-noid.

3. If I'm not sharing a hotel room, I sleep with the TV on. Translated: I may be 30 but I'm still as chicken shit as they come. For the past week I've been falling asleep to the sounds of Oprah and Everybody Loves Raymond. Oh and I check the drawers for a bible, just in case.

4. I like nice, fancy restaurants but I'll order the cheapest thing on the menu. I love my red wine but it doesn't have to be vintage. I heart air-conditioned places because they're comfy but I don't need the best seat in the room. Translated: My tastes aren't cheap but my style is thrifty, haha.

5. I'm perfectly okay spending the afternoon in my hotel room, enjoying a bubble bath while watching in-house movies. Translated: I really should be more adventurous but sometimes 'boring' beats 'adventurous'. Especially when you have a nice hotel room.

6. I love discovering new sights and cultures but I get bummed when I realise he's not there to share it with me. Translated: You can send me on a round trip around the world but where's the fun in it without having someone to share it with? I'm sorry, I don't do solo travelling very well.

7. I study maps, take note of landmarks, learn helpful foreign phrases and carry allergy/food poisoning/migraine pills in my backpack. And two types of mints. Just in case. Translated: I like to overprepare because I hate being underprepared. I don't 'wing it' and I certainly don't hitch hike. Yes, I am as predictable as they come but I'm working on loosening up. Just a little.

and finally

8. I always break into a smile when the plane touches down on homeground. Don't take me wrong, I love travelling but it's a wonderful feeling coming home to something familiar. Translated: Does that make me a bad traveller? No. I just know where I belong.

In the news.

2009-11-03T20:44:00.004+08:00

Sometimes, you only need to flip the local dailies for entertainment.

Today, there was a public opinion piece on whether KK was ready for its very own LRT. It amazes me how optimistic our people are and although there is hope for us yet, I couldn't help but think, "Er, shouldn't they be working on the current transportation system?" Honestly, if buses here ran on schedule, taxis used meters and there were ACTUAL trains running on the tracks, I wouldn't mind using the public transportation at all. And let's face it, KK is a Ten-Minute city. Minus the 'bumper to bumper traffic' (read: a road crawl thanks to one lousy road hog), everything is an average of ten minutes away. Okay, maybe 20 for some. Ten minutes to your nearest grocery store. Ten minutes to your mother in law's. Ten minutes to your favourite pub. Do you really need an LRT to get there and back? Kudos on the flyovers (clap clap) but let's not get ahead of ourselves. So in Fridaycat's opinion: Nay to the LRT. My suggestion is to fix the dodgy roads for starters.

And for the Headline of the Day:

Wider Probe Into Sodomy Case

Someone get this editor a thesaurus.

Groupie.

2009-11-01T23:24:00.003+08:00

I never thought I'd be a groupie but here I am. I'll admit I didn't quite grow up listening to Deep Purple or Metallica but over the years, thanks to my very own Mr Musician, I've grown to appreciate some pretty cool rock stuff. And I'm not talking about the geological stuff.

Still, I am a long way from being a rock expert (a rock-et scientist, haha geddit geddit? I couldn't resist). Back to the groupie reference, I am officially a fan of Sabah's very own 4AG, which stands for 'For Aggressive Gentlemen'. They consist of five talented Chinese musicians and, defying stereotypes of all-Chinese bands, play excellent hard rock stuff in all three languages: English. Mandarin and yes, even some Malay numbers. Oh and I suppose I should point out that the hot rhythm guitarist is my fiance. Heh.
At first glance, they look like five guys from your average finance department - yes, I'm pigeon-holing. But I love the surprised reaction from the crowd when they start to get their groove on! Recently, I went to watch them perform at a local gig and one of the numbers they did was Deep Purple's Highway Star. They blew the crowd away!
They've been getting some rave reviews of the last few months and although they are relatively more low profile than other up and coming bands, I'd say 4AG is one to watch. What can I say...I'm a big fan! heh heh.

Raves.

2009-10-20T11:57:00.003+08:00

I would be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying my newfound 'free time'. As my work hours are determined by yours truly (factors include non-conducive weather and just not feeling like it), I've been spending my time doing things I actually ENJOY - something I might have taken for granted over the last few years. And I've discovered it doesn't always have to involve a bar, heh.

I've been absolutely obsessed with playing...online games. Ok, it's probably a phase but it's amazing how diner dashing or building cities can kill time. I think I finally realized I needed a break when my eyes wouldn’t blink anymore and my right arm had a shooting pain flowing through it. Upon which I finally picked up my neglected books again. I was moved by Dr. Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture and after six million years I’ve finally completed James Patterson’s ‘The Quickie’ - not that it’s bad reading, simply a case of putting it down and never picking it up again. But this time, not only did I pick it up but I could not put it down. I lugged the book with me in the car, in the dim sum restaurant and while waiting for my nails to dry. I love Patterson’s stuff (Kiss The Girls anyone? As always, the movie didn’t do it justice, even with Morgan Freeman in it) and The Quickie will not disappoint. In fact, it got so gripping that I cheated and peeked at the end (hey, if the ending was bad, it wouldn’t be worth the hassle).I also finished a classic by Tehmina Durani, My Feudal Lord – it tells of her life story and struggles as a strong-willed woman married to a conservative Pakistani politician (that also translates to ‘sexist pig’). Intense.

And now on to this:

Coelho of course. If I had a splinter of his writing charm, I’d be blessed beyond belief. I don’t know how he does it but when he writes, you really feel as if he’s talking to you and only you. Intense.

To break the ‘intensity’ of the literary world, I turn to the idiot box. Yep, television at its best. More like…downloaded stuff. I sat through season four of Grey’s Anatomy and lost myself in boxes of Kleenex. I don’t understand why the producers have an undying need to make you sob through each episode. WHAT KIND OF PERVERSION IS THIS??? It’s a hospital, people die everyday, I get it. But first they make you bond with the character and then when you least expect it …BAM!...they die.

God, it’s good TV.

On a less depressing note, I turn to the latest season of The Big Bang Theory (oh praise the great powers for BitTorrent!). I’ve downloaded it in my iPod and my cardio workouts have become so effortless ever since. One episode and whaddaya know, 20 minutes of the stairmaster gone! I’ve been a loyal follower of the show since Dillon introduced it to me in Langkawi earlier this year. They’re on to Season 3 in the US and I’m looking for the boxed set of Season 2 (Christmas gift, hint hint, lalalala). Being the geek I am, yes I already have the boxed set of Season 1. There’s just something hot about 4 nerds and their comic books. Hmm.

Tuesday beckons. Got some contracts to proofread and I'm done for the day. Smell you later.

Overheard.

2009-10-09T11:03:00.003+08:00

Two girls, over drinks.

Friend 1: ....And he was there, that asshole who was a complete waste of your time.

Friend 2: Omg.

Friend 1: Yep. And he's gotten so fat and ugly.

Friend 2: *laughs* That's good to hear.

Friend 1: I moved to another table.

Friend 2: Why did you move?

Friend 1: Because I hate his guts.

I smiled. Because that's exactly what friendship should sound like.

Scabs and scars

2009-10-02T14:43:00.002+08:00

Forgiving and forgetting is like carpooling - we all know its good for the environment but no one really does it.

I don't claim to be an expert on the area but I've had my share of moments. And I'm really good at the 'one step forward, two steps back' tango - Just when I think it's out of my system, there it is, smack dab in the middle of my system.

It has taken years and one pack of cigarettes too many for me to forgive, let alone forget. I've done it all: journals, ranting even church camps (yes oh yes). I may not have learned to completely let go but I have definitely learned that sometimes all this resentment and bitterness can be all-consuming - mind, body and spirit. And as I enter my tantalising 30s (hey, it beats the 20s any day!), I'm just too excited about the future to give a rat's ass about the past. Why channel your energy on what could have been when you can use it on what's going to be?

So I haven't completely forgiven nor forgotten you. But what matters most is I am wise enough to realise what a complete waste of time and emotional energy grudge-bearing can be. And here's another lightbulb moment to share: Don't burn bridges but you are not obliged to maintain the repair works. You can't lose a friend if he/she was never one worth keeping in the first place.

Just sit back and let that old wound turn into a scar. You'll never even notice it there.

...And we're back!

2009-09-27T19:23:00.002+08:00

My trip to Manila was one great big exhale. Allow me to inhale as I gather my thoughts. Simply put, I had a blast and getting out of the country for a bit was exactly what I needed.

I highly recommend packing your bags for a dose of sanity.

Downsizing but upgrading.

2009-09-17T10:02:00.002+08:00

As my good friend Jeri (how are ya sweetie?) wrote me a few days ago, yes I've been quiet and yes you are right to assume things are going good so far. Sometimes, no news is indeed good news.

I've been staying away from the cybersphere for a while, most of the time quite unintentionally actually. These days, I'm not chained to a desk and for the better part of the day, I pretty much do as I please (which consequently means I don't log on as much anymore). I meet clients, have long lunches and write whenever the time is right. It's liberating. But to ensure I maintain some disciplined schedule in my life, I still start my day by 8:00am. Even if that day begins with bringing my cats to the vet.

I've been able to spend some quality time with my family, especially my nieces who are growing up by the nanosecond, and my intimate circle of friends. As I anticipated, ever since I left my so-called high profile job as an editor for a local magazine, my phone has been more silent and my inbox static. And I am not complaining. Because it helps me sort out the real friends from the "Oh hi how you been? I loved your last issue. Wondering if you can help me out..." clan. And these days, I can honestly say I have at last five loyal caller IDs that keep popping up and these are friends who I know would still be there even if my career change involved scraping elephant poo. I heart you.

Which leads me to the fact that I am happily downsizing my life - less parties and less air-kissing - but truly upgrading the quality of my lifestyle. If there's anything I've gained in the last few weeks, I've learned that less is definitely more. And I am blessed that some of my former colleagues have remained true friends and it's refreshing to be on a more laid-back level with them without worrying about office politics.

And it's off to my week-long escape to Manila tomorrow where I will be exercising my other natural-born talent - shopping! Also, I will be introducing my fiance to my mum's family for the first time. Stay tuned for the Manila excursion!

Quick blab.

2009-09-06T18:07:00.003+08:00

I heart the Matta Fair because I think I just might be packing my bags for a bit. And this time my wallet won't be bleeding.

And 12 more days before I say Mabuhay! and eat lots and lots of pork.

I have to hit the gym more frequently. Twice a week doesn't cut it.

I have a new kitten. My parents think it's for my niece. *sweaty palms* I really need to get my own place.

Contrary to popular belief, it's not that easy managing lots of 'free time' when you're a Level 90 Procrastinator like me...

...but I LOVE the freedom!

This made me smile today.

2009-09-02T10:45:00.004+08:00

This is the 3rd attempt for French 'Spiderman' Alain Robert in climbing the Petronas Twin Towers and he's finally done it! Of course, he got arrested but I couldn't help but do a little victory jig for him. Heh, this really made my day. Read more about it here.

"Voila! I have climbed zee tower and now I am in handcuffs but eet ees okay!"

Mel's 2-minute Merdeka Post.

2009-08-31T22:42:00.002+08:00

Your childish politicians.

Your questionable policies.

Your colourful people.

Your awesome food.

Your occasional ignorance.

Your breathtaking beaches and sunsets.

Your inability to have clean public toilets.

Your selfishness.

Your giving heart.

Your misplaced pride.

Your humility.

Your harmony.

Your racial bias.

Your over-priced locally-made cars.

Your strange goals and achievements (biggest roti canai? teh tarik in space?)

Your reigning peace.

Your normalcy.

Good and bad, you make up the only home I have. And even though we all have the option of leaving, I'm not going anywhere. If that's not love, Malaysia, I don't know what it is.

Happy Merdeka.

Hello, New Day!

2009-08-24T09:45:00.002+08:00

Yes, I've been quiet.

Because I've been taking the time to absorb this moment. And because, quite frankly, there are no words to describe this feeling. I've been met with various reactions with my decision to leave my job but only one opinion matters most: Mine.

And I am happy. I feel like for the first time since I started working, I'm finally taking control of my life and career. I never imagined that freefalling from my 9 to 5 desk job would feel so good! And as I celebrate the first of (hopefully) many brighter Mondays to come, I received this from Mia - The Eight Irresistable Principles of Fun. I loved it - Hope it inspires you too!

August!

2009-08-03T12:37:00.002+08:00

No, I haven't forgotten what a bitch August can be. Let me refresh your memory.

Well, slap my ass and call me a donkey's uncle because I never imagined August and I would finally be on good terms.

This year, I can finally say August brings more yays than nays. After so many years of break-ups, goodbyes, difficult transitions and just plain bad luck, the tides are changing. Instead of flinching as I flipped the calendar on my desk, I felt relieved and blessed. First of all, I'm still enjoying the warm afterglow of getting engaged (yes, you're gonna have to put up with my incessant mushiness for now - what, would you rather I go all "Oh woe is me!" day in day out?). It's digusting how loved up I feel and if I get anymore sentimental, butterflies are gonna come out of my nose. Other than that, I'm finally counting the days to a new chapter in my career.

Oh, did I not mention that I was leaving?

My Company, bless her soul, has been lovely thus far but greener pastures call. Coupled with the long drawn out dilemma of 'Where am I going with this job?' and being passed on for a promotion, I'd say my time here is up. I am grateful for all I have gained but as I touch 30 and enter a new phase in my life, I think a new job is just the icing I need.

I have 19 days to go and its a flurry of emotions. But I think its a good sign that I am happier than I am sad to move on. I won't be sad, but nostalgic most definitely. And August also means I am a month away from my long-awaited holiday to Manila with Haw - I can't wait to introduce him to my family.

So yes, August, thanks for finally cutting me some slack. I know you might have some surprises up your sleeve but it's nothing I can't handle. So we cool, right?

Hallo, hallo...?

2009-07-30T09:51:00.006+08:00

First of all, I must apologise if you are one of the many people I've been accidentally calling. I tend to forget locking my keypad, which results in me making unintentional phone calls to random people on my phonebook. It's either I'm sitting on my phone or there are tiny toyols diailing my digits in my handbag. (eee creepy).

Anyway, I'm considering getting a new phone - something that either autolocks or is designed in such a way that I can't accidentally call anyone ie. slide or flip. So here are my finalists:

The very snazzy N97:

or the sleek Nokia 6600 (freakin' A, it also comes in pink! This is what I call fate):

Yes, I am a Nokia girl. Don't even bother introducing Sony Ericssons or LGs to me. I cannot be arsed to learn a whole new 'language' when it comes to my lifeline. I am not a super-gadgety person. I think blenders are complicated, enough said. So when it comes to choosing handphones, I have three main concerns:

1. SMS friendly, as in the keypad isn't a bitch to use.

2. External memory - I get nervous when the salesperson says, "Oh but this one no external memory ah...Everything in the phone wan....".

3. Looks good when I wave it around.

Told you I'm simple. Cameras aren't necesarry but it's a cool add-on. Budget-wise, I'm looking for below RM2k. I have to give up my Blackberry in less than a month and I never thought I'd say this but I'm gonna sort of miss it. I've been so dependent with having my e-mails at my fingertips and communicating with people via BB messenger. I might actually keep my Blackberry but will upgrade it to a BB Bold. My brothers have the BB Storm and I have to say...None of us are impressed with how complicated it is. Plus, I've never been fond of touch-screens - All those fingerprints irritate me.

So time to go phone-hunting. No rush though...I'm giving myself till end of September to get one as I'm saving my moolah for my Manila holiday :)

Oh wow I almost forgot I'm going on a holiday!

Over the past. In the now.

2009-07-29T09:29:00.002+08:00

"Sometimes the things you want are not exactly the things you need and the things you don't want in life is exactly what you need."

A year ago, I posted this on my blog. When I look back to where I was a year ago, I amaze myself. It's been an emotional struggle to say the least. Plenty of drunken nights. Too much crying. An overdose of drama. I was Eeyore personified. Ugh. I hated myself. And I know so many of my friends hated that Mel too.

But here I am, a year later. It hasn't been easy but it's been eye-opening. I've gained weight but I've lost that chip on my shoulder that used to verify my sense of worthlessness everyday. Life isn't perfect right now - It's never going to be, i'm not that jaded, please. But it's better. And I'll take 'better' over 'crap' any day. Plus, where's the fun in having a 'perfect' life? Nothing to struggle or fight for. That's like...Life for Wimps.

So with the grace of God, lots of perserverance and a little help from my family and friends, here I am. When I stoppped 'wanting' things to go a certain way, everything I needed fell in my lap.

If you like it then you better put a ring on it...

2009-07-27T22:29:00.004+08:00

...And he did!
This is the best pic of us that I could find from our engagement. My brother gave us matching pendants. I really should get a better camera.

*Mel, focus*

My rock rocks! So yes ladies and gents, another one bites the dust :)

31 Reasons to love you 24/7

2009-07-24T08:58:00.005+08:00

31 Reasons.

1. Because he makes me laugh till my sides ache.

2.Because he appreciates the funny voices I make.

3.Because I appreciate the funny voices HE makes.

4.Because of his dogged determination in all he does.

5.Because men with ambition are sexy.

6.Because with him, there's always a way.

7. Because I'm useless with cars, wires and anything that needs fixing.

8. Because I'm willing to 'potong pokok' with him under the pouring rain.

9.Because we both love Will Ferrell.

10.Because he's so damn patient even when he really shouldn't be.

11. Because I can't stay mad at him for long.

12. Because he reminds me to drink more water and eat my vegetables.

13.Because he'll watch Friends reruns with me.

14.Because he understands when I need to be on my own and I understand when he needs to hang with the boys.

15. Because he knows I can be unreasonably jealous.

16. Because even when he's jealous, he's still a gentleman.

17. Because he continues to surprise me.

18. Because he loves my cats.

19. Because my cats love him.

20. Because I feel safe with him.

21. Because he's so good at picking out clothes for me.

22. Because he pushes me to get off my lazy ass and try new things.

23. Because he taught me how to play the drums.

24. Because he knows I hate the cold and will make sure I'm always warm.

25. Because he doesn't believe in RM300 shirts that look RM69.90

26. Because he has no idea how cute he is when his eyes light up when watching Indiana Jones/Back To The Future for the 500th time

27. Because he layans my whims and fancies, even if it involves Roti Kahwin at Damai during peak traffic time.

28. Because I would do exactly the same for him in a heartbeat.

29. Because musicians and artists are sexy!

30. Because he reminds me it's about us and no one else.

31. Because I couldn't ask for more.

Happy birthday, babe.

Love,

Weight a minute.

2009-07-23T22:18:00.006+08:00

I have been on the hunt for a dress. I'm running out of time and patience. And today, lo and behold, I found THE dress. And I loved every inch of it. Every seam, every stitch, every ruffle. But of course...They didn't have my size. The one I tried was just a wee bit too tight and I don't know about you guys but I like to breathe in my clothes. Oh but how I absolutely LOVE the dress!

At this point, I am just exhausted. I cannot bear the thought of trying on any more dresses. Why is everything else out there made for people half my size? And the dresses that look good on the rack hang lifeless on me. I have the weirdest body: I am top heavy, with slender arms, stumpy legs, a bulging stomach, broad shoulders and a short torso. It is an absolute nightmare to buy dresses for me. The safest bet are babydoll dresses but I'm really tired of the 'Pregnant' look.

So i keep trying dresses although my mind is set on Dream Dress Which Doesn't Come In My Size (for the record, they even checked another store who, of course, didn't have my size neither). Dress after dress. I find another beautiful, long number which covers my stumpy sausage legs BUT thanks to my short torso, it bunches up at the back. I find a gorgeous orange off-shoulder blouse which goes well with an A-line skirt I pick up but once I put it on...I look like a pumpkin standing on a cone. It looked good in my head though.

So four days and three hours later, I am still dress-less. Which leads me to the angry thought: If only I was thinner. I just can't seem to lose those five kilos which would've solved all my dress-shopping woes. Seriously, if I was less fat, I would've found a dress by now! I've always had issues with my body and now it's biting me in the ass as if to say, "Hah, told you to lose weight!"

I didn't get my dress and I'm starting to give up. I might just dig up something safe from my closet. I don't deserve a new dress anyway - I'm so lousy at trying to lose weight. However, in my quest for a dress, I did come across something else. Slimming supplements! A friend told me how it worked for her and I've decided to get a bottle and see how it goes. Spare me the lecture on 'watching my food' and 'exercising' because I've been doing that and it's not working as fast as I'd like it to. So hopefully these supplements will speed things up and I won't dread buying clothes as much anymore!Wish me luck.

In the now.

2009-07-08T09:31:00.002+08:00

I want to count my blessings.

Because it takes devastating news to shake us out of our zombie reverie as we trudge through life. So today, I want to count my blessings and live in the now.

Someone I work with has been diagnosed with leukemia and honestly, I am still in denial. Because I refuse to accept that his life is now on a timer and everyone is just waiting for the buzzer to go off. I walk by his room and imagine that he will be back tomorrow, smiling and telling us it was just the flu.

While everyone sheds tears and comes to grip with his diagnosis, I find myself almost not reacting. Not because I don't care. Not because I am emotionless (boy oh boy, if anything I'm too emo). Because in my own bubble, I believe that if I don't acknowledge the truth, it remains untrue. So I go on with my day, refusing to visit him in the hospital, ignoring talk of "poor him poor him" because I so badly want to believe he is coming back and the doctors made a mistake.

I'm the Queen of wishful thinking.

But as the days pass and the news sinks in a little bit more, it puts everything I do on a daily basis in perspective. You know those scenes in a movie where the camera zooms out on everything around you and zooms in on your face, like a moment of realization? That's how I feel. I watch as my bosses continue yakking about which wine to serve during the next big dinner event. I listen as someone gets worked up about not getting the alignment right on his typed document. And, in comparison with someone doesn't know how many tomorrows are left, it all seems so...trivial. I do understand that life must go on. Bills must be paid, children fed and deadlines met. But why do we put so much blood, sweat and tears on the tiny details in life? Why can't we have the same zest for things that matter?

Because we take those things for granted. Right until someone tells us we don't have much time life.

Don't postpone that trip you've been saving up for because it's just 'too much hassle' to plan right. Don't tell your husband you'll have that long-awaited dinner for two next week because this week you're just too tired. Don't save those RM500 stilletos for a special occassion - tonight might be that special occassion! Don't wait to tell someone their friendship is better than chocolate if you can tell them today. Most of all, don't wait to make yourself happy today - in whatever form it may come.

Today, I want to count my blessings. I'm not going to wait till it's too late.

Hey June...

2009-06-28T19:49:00.007+08:00

So here's my June in photos.

I went to KL with my colleague Rinto for the Vote for Sipadan campaign early June. It was a tiring five days, considering it was a two-man show (dumb-ass arrangements but hey, we don't call the shots). I love this view of KLCC.

We were at the KLCC Aquaria - we had the best response here. Maybe all the fishies put visitors in the mood...

...it definitely put ME in the mood. The management at Aquaria are EXCELLENT people - kudos to them for being such stellar hosts! They even let us take a free tour of the aquarium after we packed up.

Carol playing with the sharks. So cool. Here she is, hoping she'll leave with ten fingers intact.

Rinto gets so much attention for his dreadlocks (yes they're real - some people even ask if they can touch it. Okaaay). So here's the best impression of Rinto I can muster, heh heh.

We were also at 1 Utama and Sunway Pyramid. It started off as a 2-man show but Carol showed up and saved the weekend. Hooray!

You see how much barang we have to lug everyday? And that's including the laptops, nimloks and giveaway goodies! Can you see the Carl's Junior paper bag peeking out? A lunch for 2 set us back some RM40.00 but it was worth the burger experience! Punya besar.

Thumbs up eventhough there were some people I would've liked to strangle with the laptop cables. But tourism industry players are conditioned to 'smile through everything', no? Mmm ya lah tu.

The highlight of each night was none other than the after-hour drinks. Our hotel was at The Curve Damansara so it was pubs galore. JJ brought us to this Belgian Bierhaus where the foot-long pork sausages are to die for.

Carol and her Hoegaarden. Yum.

I always love meeting up with my chicas, no matter how fleeting. I miss them - but everyone's happy where they are and that's what matters.

Back in KK, I attended the World Environment Day at the Lok Kawi Wildlife Park. Speeches, bird show, clap clap, plant some trees, clap clap, build a compost heap, ooh ahh. The end.

With my colleagues. You need each other to stay entertained during the formalities.

Dragon Boat Race at Likas Bay with Melina. Ya, I'm getting sick of this green t-shirt too.

Orange! Much better. This was on the first day. Yes, it's panas.

Contrary to popular belief, there is more to my life than work. So on days when I want to blow up the office, I turn to H. Who will happily peel pears for me, heh. Last Saturday, he surprised me with a picnic at the beach. He had packed some lovely sandwiches, apple juice and Cheezels. Oh and pears of course.

Sometimes, we need to break out of the routine and just wing it. The picnic was a great way to 'wing it'. We played cards, ate cheesy sandwiches and did Mafia mobster impressions. I tell you, it doesn't take much. It turned out to be quite the eventful day. Stay tuned.

Just thought I'd share a shot of one of my favourite makan spots, the roti kahwin coffee shop in Damai. And they serve delicious teh C ping! The nasi lemak isn't as great as before - dunno why. But whenever I have a case of the munchies, you can find me here.

This doggy was with us during the picnic. He got tired of waiting for 'snacks' and actually fell asleep! Now THAT'S the kind of contentment so rarely enjoyed by humans. Don't forget to stop and roll in the sand once in a while, my friends.

Sunny.

2009-06-24T10:26:00.002+08:00

How I love watching the days go by! As I put my head to my pillow each night, I smile thinking of how tomorrow means I am a step closer to so many things. NEW things. And new places. And new opportunities.

I haven't felt this excited about life for a while now. I still don't know what tomorrow will bring but it feels damn good to know I've moved on from darker places and empty spaces. Over the last six months, I have had to slowly detach myself from people and situations. Change my marching beat, so to speak. And as I turn my attention back to nothing else but ME, everything starts to fall into place again. All I had to do was step away from the circus.

I am so in love. With life. With you. With what can be. I know that tomorrow all this could very well be snatched away from me.

So watch me as I embrace every second of this :)

Let's go for a drive.

2009-06-18T18:13:00.003+08:00

Grumpy. I was annoyed. Immensely.

He looked at me, a sort-of smile - a cross between 'Please don't bite my head off' and 'Hey beautiful'.

I refused to step out of my angry shell. I was (foolishly) adamant on staying angry. And it wasn't even at him.

"Let's go for a drive."

The air-conditioner was too cold. The air freshener too strong. Why is the car so noisy? He injects my grumpy silence with stories of difficult clients and pretty streetlights. He winds down the windows and turns off the air-conditioner. We drive some more and watching the city go by actually makes me a little happier.

But just a little.

He lets me choose which roads to take because he knows I like things to go my way - Yes, I can be a brat like that. And we look at more buildings. He points out the scenery and how pretty it is. We imagine owning our own studio and all the things we could do with it. We talk about his next gig on Sunday. Sunday? Next Sunday, he says. And I mentally take note and see if I can swing by to see him play the guitar. Sometimes I think his band makes too much noise - but he knows I'm proud he's part of it.

And then he squeezes my hand. I squeeze back. We talk some more about cars and the weather (I hope it rains, I tell him). I still want to be angry but I can't quite remember what for.

He asks me, "Which road you want to take?" I point to the left.

I went home. More happy, less angry. Because he just knows me.

Jump.

2009-06-17T11:29:00.003+08:00

I've lived most of my life with the utmost caution. I analyze, scrutinise, worry and wonder before making any decision. Even deciding what to eat for lunch is a life-changing moment for me. I'm the kind of girl who dips her feet into the water but will never jump in because it's safer on dry land.

But as I enter my 30s, I think it's time I start living precariously - yes, I know most people do that in their first part of their 20s but, hey, I'm a late bloomer.

Perhaps not always knowing or being uncertain isn't such a bad thing. Maybe unpredictability is what I need to push me further along in my life. I like safe, yes, but sometimes 'safe' isn't good enough. And maybe it's going to be difficult and maybe this could be the biggest mistake. Then again, this could be the best thing that as happened to me.

I've given it plenty of years and if I don't step out of my comfort zone now, I probably never will. And I keep giving it another year, another month, another week but deep down I know I'm just too chicken shit to do anything about. Everyone's going to have an opinion about whatever decision I make but ultimately I have to do this for no one else but me:

It's time to jump with both feet in.