You guys ever have a recurring nightmare? I don't have the exact same dream but over the last few years, it's been the same theme. It always starts out with me in a car. Sometimes I'm in the driver's seat, sometimes I'm the passenger. But regardless, I'm ALWAYS in charge of car control. And without fail, the brakes never work. No matter how hard I push the pedal down, the car just keeps going and I start to panic. Sometimes, the steering wheel jams.
Two nights ago, I had the same dream. This time, I'm sitting in the backseat but somehow the pedals are right there with me. I couldn't recognise the other two people in the front seat but they were freaking out because the car wouldn't stop. And I kept screaming that the brakes weren't working but the other two just kept on freaking out. It finally spun to a stop but that's because we crashed into someone's brick wall (actually, I recall it being Mia's brick wall/fence). I sat in the car, in stunned silence and suddenly my brothers and sister appeared out of nowhere. But instead of checking on me, they start laughing and teasing me for ruining my car. I started to cry, mainly out of frustration because no one believed that the brakes weren't working. The more I cried, the more everyone laughed.
And then I woke up.
I've been getting the same 'brakes don't work' dream for years now and I'm wondering if someone can enlighten me on what it could possibly mean. Anyone?
Commitment: Mel's Take
I read Mia's recent blog post on commitment and I share her sentiments. And not just in the relationship sense, but jobwise/car payments etc too. I think it's the fear of getting stuck in the rut and being tied down to a routine. It's subjective really. I personally handle routine well and prefer it when I know what's going to happen in the next two hours/days/
weeks/months/years. But back to commitment. Here are some things I've learned over the years:
1. Commitment are for grown-ups. If you're still dating 'that chick with the nice ya-yas' or 'having a good time with that Italian stallion', you're not ready.
2. It's either you want to be committed or you don't. Leave no room for 'grey areas' also known as 'see first/you never know/let's just have fun for now'. If it's casual, ensure both parties are aware so no one gets hurt. It's called respect.
3. Ability to commit comes with age, particularly for men. Hence the logic behind the 'older man, younger woman' pairing.
4. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be in a committed relationship. I used to think it was so sad when people talk about finding 'The One' and settling down. As I age, I realise it's a natural progression.
So sue me.
5. Right time, wrong person. Wrong time, right person. Right time, right person. I believe we'll all get there somehow. And even if we don't, I believe in the freedom of choice. There's nothing wrong with staying single if that's what makes you truly happy. Screw society's expectations.
On another note, I do wish that our generation was less non-chalant about marriage. I believe in the sanctity of marriage and the whole 'go forth and multiply' sentiment. I guess i'm just an old-fashioned girl at heart. Divorce rates are disheartening to say the least and these days good ol' Malaysia is finally catching up with their American counterparts on rising divorce numbers (Malaysia boleh).
Here's what I say about commitment, relationships and all that jazz: Do what makes you happy. Don't sell yourself short or make decisions based on what everyone else is saying/doing. Be true to yourself because that's the only person you're guaranteed to wake up with for the rest of your life.
This Weekend:
I'm going to the highlands again for the annual Climbathon. That time of the year when crazy people run up and down Mt. Kinabalu in less than three hours. As usual, my company is the main organiser and it'll be two days of 4am wake up calls and running around in the crisp mountain air (which isn't such a bad thing except I hate the cold). So no updates till I get back on Monday, ok peeps? Don't miss me too much...heh heh.
Anyway, I'm off. I might be watching Flight Plan tonight or have dinner with some friends. We'll see which plan pans out better. Till then, here's Mel's song of the day:
"Ding dik ding dik ding ding, ding dik ding dik ding ding..."
-The Crazy Frog song. haha.
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