School daze.

I was listening to the radio today. They were asking listeners who took Additional Math in secondary school if they found it useful or relevant today.

Yeah, I find it about as useful as installing an air-conditioner in an igloo.

Come on la. Here’s what I really learned in school:

Chemistry – Always have a good lab partner. Preferably someone who knows what’s going on. Mine was Puei. She would be busy calculating the formulas while I played with the air suling bottle. Also, Mr. Ang (our chem teacher) knew I hated chem. and relished in calling me up to the board to complete the equations. Evil man. (And to top it off, I had to see on Tuesday and Thursday nights for extra chemistry tuition. Grr.) SPM result: Pass, 8 units

Physics – That it actually IS common sense but it’s the formulaic babble that makes it a complete bitch to learn. F=MA. E=MC². I=DNT/CARE. And inertia. Ok at least I found that concept interesting. And that small Indian men with big moustaches should not wear carrot-cut pants. EVER. SPM result: Pass, 8 Units

Biology – Of all the sciences, this I was slightly better at. Mainly cuz it just required lots of reading and remembering who’s who on the kekunci dikotomi (dichotomy tree?). But there was an interesting moment during my SPM practical examinations where I had to identify a piece of gooey blob on a petri dish. It looked so strange and after classifying it as “no backbone, clear, water based”, I decided that it closely resembled a jellyfish. After the session was over, my friends were excitedly debating about the seven specimens they had to identify. “Seven?” I asked. “But there were eight on my table.” After I described what it looked like, my friends calmly held my hand, “Mel. That was the petroleum jelly for the second experiment.”
SPM Result: Pass, 7 units. (it would have been a 6 if not for the Vaseline tragedy)

Math – If I gave the chicken rice lady RM5 for my RM3 chicken rice, I should expect RM2 back. Ok la, this one a bit useful. SPM result: Pass. 3 units.

History – Parameswara. Sultan Muzaffar Shah. Melaka. 1816. Ogos 31, 1957. Perjanjian Versailles. Laksamana Cheng Ho. Stamford Raffles. Sir David Attenborough (wait, that’s National Geographic). Boring as hell but I survived. I also learned that the kingdom of Brunei used to be huge but the King kept giving away land and today it’s swamped by Sabah and Sarawak. SPM result: Pass. 5 units.

Additional Math - …was the biggest mistake of my life. It was this or Accounting (they both had numbers so I figured I was a goner either way). Still, I should have chosen the lesser of two evils. The memories of algebra, trigonometry and Satanism (well it seemed that way) still haunt me till today. I don’t think I’ll ever be the same. SPM result: Pass. 8 units.

BM – ok la. I can bullshit it both English and BM so this was a breeze. SPM result: Credit. 3 units.

English – ditto. SPM results: Credit. 1 unit.

English Lit – My favourite subject. The only one I didn’t mind attending class for. The only one where I did extra research. The only one that didn’t make me wish the science labs would explode and classes would be cancelled. The only one where people asked ME for MY homework (hey, I was always on the other end so this was a big deal for me). SPM Result: Credit. 2 units. – I was pretty pissed because someone totally undeserving and copied my work day in day out got a 1 (carol, pu, sel, mia and yo: u know la who).

I’m not even gonna discuss Moral Studies. It doesn’t deserve any space on my blog. (I just mentioned it. Doh.)

K la. Enough reminiscing for now. My secondary school days ain't nothin' to shout about.

"Child, don't you worry
It's enough your growing up in such a hurry
Brings you down, the news they sell ya
To put in your mind that all mankind is a failure
But nobody knows
What's gonna happen tomorrow
We try not to show
How frightened we are"
-Duran Duran, What Happens Tomorrow