Friday, October 21, 2005

Roller coaster.

Yesterday marked two months since I officially embraced (more like hesitantly clung on to) singledom. Two months. How about that? Seems like forever. It's been a roller coaster since then and all I can do is grip the bars for dear life and hope I'm properly locked into my seat. I've got my fair share of ups, downs, twists and turns to put a giant triple-loop coaster to shame. Here's my take:

I've been going out more. And yes, I am enjoying my evenings of intoxication - to a point of concern sometimes but I'm still standing. My career is improving and I've been doing more freelance jobs. The money isn't the main thing at this point, it's more important that I carve a name in the writing industry. In fact, most of my writing has been FOC but I'm anal about getting my name up there next to my article. I've also been thinking more and more about pursuing my postgrad studies - most likely Australia. A shout out to Dillon in Melbourne who's been twisting my arm to get my ass down there. He's even got a spare room in his apartment waiting for me. Hey budak Singh bising, trust me, you'll be the first to know if I decide to make my way to too-cold-too-hot-too-everything Melbourne!
On the upside, I have a newfound appreciation for my family and friends who have helped me pull through. They've made me realise that although they're behind me 100 percent, I'm the only person who can drag myself out of a funk. True dat. And I've been writing more. Just random ramblings but each time I put the pen down, I feel like i can breathe again.

In 26 years of my life, I've had boyfriends. Yes, I've been in and out of love but there was only one person I could finally picture sharing my friggin' white-picket fence life with. But as Murphy and his bloody law would have it, we didn't see through the same rose-coloured glasses when it came to the future. Rejection is never a pretty thing. Unrequited love sucks even more. Too bad it took me two and a half years to get the message. I'll admit I wasn't the perfect girlfriend but what fun would there be if I was? haha. (When all else fails, laugh it off). And I don't make enough money *wail*.

Enough wallowing.

Twists know, best not blog about the twists. Stay tuned.

Everytime I think I've got it covered, something new awaits me at every corner. I've learned to stay clear of dead-ends. Always pick a junction: Choice is good.

Hallmark moments aside, I'm spending the weekend at the Bukit Naga Beach Retreat in Kuala Penyu this weekend. It's about 2 and a half hours away from KK and yes, it's a work-related trip. Anything to get away I suppose. Will let you know how that goes.

You left your smell
you left your taste
You left me here with my mistakes
And I can't relate to what you say I've done
Just for you
I'll bite my tongue
- Eleanor, Low Millions.

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