Monday, October 31, 2005

Doom. Doomed.

Ok movie review time. Went to watch Doom last week. I was pretty excited for a couple of reasons:

1.I’m not a huge Doom fan but was interested to see how they would interpret it on the screen, given that Doom is somewhat a religion to hardcore gamers.
2.The Rock. Over the top, just the way I like him.

I'll just pick up this big gun and wear it around my neck so I'll look ten times manlier.

Alright, so my blog title pretty much gave away my sentiment on the whole movie. First of all, I couldn’t get over how ‘cartoon-drawn’ The Rock appeared. He didn’t look…human. He looked like he stepped out of a Marvel comic book, complete with bulging muscles, almost-robotic movements, crazy eyes and gleaming skin (I kid you not). It’s not a bad thing, just something that made me go…Hmm.

Oh crap. That's a big gun if I've ever seen one...

Plot-wise, something goes vewwy vewwy wrong in a lab located light years away from Earth – Mars actually. Monsters lurking, people screaming, limbs torn apart…The usual eek-fest. Enter The Rock and the Macho Men Patrol, complete with cool nicknames (The Rock is known as Sarge. How original). In true Hero Style, they arrive on the planet and as they enter the lift to get to the lab, they actually stand in a V-formation so everyone is in the frame! I couldn’t get over that. Definitely the cheesiest point of the movie.

Of course, you must be wondering where’s the estrogen element of the movie. Introducing Hot and Brainy Scientist in Sexy Lab Coat. Turns out she’s one of the protagonists’ twin sister and there’s a whole story behind why she’s a scientist and he’s a soldier bla bla bla. Well, at least they TRIED to put a story in. So she plays Scully and does all the autopsies after the boys kill monster after monster. She starts to make ‘startling’ discoveries. Long story short (ok, warning, spoilers ahead) monsters start appearing, people start dying till only The Rock and Reaper (yep, Mr. Twin Brother of Hot and Brainy Scientist in Sexy Lab Coat) fight each other to death. Wait a minute, you say, aren’t they supposed to be on the SAME team? A-ha, the plot thickens. Basically, The Rock turns out to be such a baddie deep down, that once he’s bitten by a mean monster, he turns into one himself. Reaper is bitten too but he’s got goodness in his heart so instead of being Nasty Monster, he becomes Stronger Than Ever Man. So they battle it out and The Rock actually finds the mother of all guns in one of the labs so this spells bad news for Reaper aka Stronger Than Ever Man. Anyway, fight, fight, fight, explosions, more fights…Good conquers evil and all is well again. So the twins head back to Earth. Or something like that.
They're making a sequel? NOOOO!?!?!?

Ok, storyline aside…I had a few problems with this movie. I felt like they held back a lot, even in the action scenes. I mean, this is DOOM. Blow us away with your cool graphics and what nots! And in the trailer, you actually get a glimpse of the first person shooter point of view and I had a feeling everyone in the cinema was waiting for it. Unfortunately, it lasted a mere seven minutes towards the end of the movie and it left everyone going, “Eh? That’s it?” Actually, the WHOLE movie left everyone going, “Eh? That’s it?”

My consolation? It was better than Sound of Thunder.

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