A change will do you good.

It's been a season of changes. The end of the old and start of the new and a time of exploring other pastures - not necessarily greener, so some of us discover, just...different.

I don't cope well with change. My idea of being different is ordering milo kosong instead of lemon teh ping at the coffee shop. That's as daring as I can get most of the time. But I also realise life cannot and IS NOT static. Change is inevitable and whether we like it or not, it's going to happen. I suppose I relish the security of predictability and routine. I like waking up at the same time everyday and knowing my route to work at the back of my hand. I like knowing the best chicken rice can be found in Lido and so help me God, if the stall moves, my life will be in shambles.

But as sweaty as palms get when I think about it, change will happen. Bad news, good news, lightbulb moments that make me go, "Wow, how could I have missed that?" Yesterday we received bad news about 'change' in the office and today, my colleague (who has been working here for 7 years) is saying au revoir to us all. Just seeing her empty desk gets me all choked up. And being at the brink of change myself freaks the hell out of me. Some of you may know that I'll be leaving my job in less than a month *don't ask why/where/what/how/who, all will be revealed in good time* and as the days pass, I'm entering panic mode. Things are CHANGING as we speak. I start to doubt myself, my decisions, my direction. Anxiety mixed with excitement can be quite a nauseating experience, let me tell you that.

Will I survive the 'big bad world' outside my safety bubble? Am I packing my bags for the right reasons? Will I be happier or at least as happy as I am now? Fact is, I realise, I won't know the answers unless I get off my scaredy-pants ass and do it. It could be one huge disastrous mistake but on the flip side, it could be the best thing I've done in my 28 years of existence. Worst-case scenario, I'll move back in with my family and spend weekends talking about the meaning of life with my cats. Hey, life could be worse...

The best comment I've heard so far is, "Think about it Mel...You plan to be the editor for the next 10 years?" Ok, fair enough. There's got to be something else out there - it could be better, it could be worse but one thing for sure, it'll be different.

I guess I'm just learning that change isn't necessarily a bad thing - but it's definitely necessary.

Here and there.

Well looky here, November is almost ending. Where did the year go? Not that I'm complaining. Haven't been blogging, seeing that I had places to go, things to do and people to meet. Which is a good sign that I'm 'living'. My cousin Patrick came down from Manila and brought his friends along. So of course, am always happy to play the 20-cent tour guide.

Kevin, my 18-year-old cousin, me, Glen and Jonathan outside Cock & Bull after numerous beers. These people can DRINK.

My cousin Patrick. Ain't he a cutie?

And then I was kept busy preparing for this over the weekend...Time to doll up!

...I clean up good don't I?

Events like these are always a combination of work and play. Just when you think never the twine shall meet. Anyway, it's a night where outstanding players of the tourism industry are given due recognition. Some of the honours went to Nexus Resort Karambunai for Excellence in Hotel Services for 3,4 and 5 Star hotels/resorts, the Sabah Museum for Best Tourism Attraction (Non-nature) and *drumroll please* Cock & Bull for Best Entertainment Spot, beating out favourites to win Shenanigan's and Blue Note. Heh, what a night. The district of Kudat won the Cleanest District Award once again and I thought this was well-deserved. Seriously, check out Kudat and you'll see what I mean. Why can't KK be that clean?

Having taken hours to get dressed up means this is one night everyone transforms into a cam-whore to immortalise how 'done up' we look. Exhibit A: Yours truly with Hezrina.

I love how boys get dressed up once a year (or in this case, every 2 years). Look Ma, a TUX! Left to right, Zachary, Charlie, moi and Walter, taking a breather while everyone else is doing work, heh heh.


Of course, the fun only truly begins at the after-party. Roland and me at Blue Note. Intoxicated just fine. And no, I don't know how that bow tie got there.


When the Powers of Three combine...You better shut your bars. No worries, Dann was the designated driver of the night. I may drink but I'm a responsible drinker, ehem.

Finally, in other updates, Alicia Keys rocks my world. I bought her latest CD (hey original ok, not those scratchy RM10 ones...) and although her single, No One, is much-talked about, I unexpectedly fell in love with track no. 6, "Lesson Learned", which she collaborated on with John Mayer.

"Yes I was burned but I call it a lesson learned..."

You tell 'em Miss Keys.

I need a drink.

It's been my mantra for the past seven days and today I VOW not to have one. And I'm not talking about your average joy juice here. I'm not proud with my drinking spree but it's been one of those weeks where everyday is a 'I Need A Drink' Day. Somehow, I find comfort in my glass of *insert alcohol beverage here* and it just sweeps my troubles away. I'll drink till I reach just the right amount of 'happy' and I go home and sleep all my troubles away. Someone said that somewhere inside me is an alcoholic in denial but I don't think it's that serious. I just like my drinks. Perhaps it's because during all my troubled times, I've resorted to the bottle and eventually, I get back to my normal state (whatever that is) therefore, I associate solving problems with drinking.

Ai, doesn't sound so good once I see that in writing after all.

But no, I don't need professional help and I know some of you are concerned. I just like my drinks - especially coupled with good company and reliable drivers, ehem. An ex-boyfriend once told me, "This too shall pass" (as he did, haha) and it's a good reminder whenever things get tough in life. So in the meantime.... Cheers!


If only happiness really came in a box...

Judgy McJudgypants

Mother Teresa said "If you judge people, you don't have time to love them."

We all do questionable things in our life. Things good girls shouldn't do. Things that are not morally acceptable. Things that are just, well, not right. Sometimes it's intentional, other times it really is an innocent mistake. I like to call it a 'learning curve'. It's like that old cliche: If you don't make mistakes, you'll never learn. Or sometimes you just need colour in your life, heh(A friend said I just enjoy having drama in my life. Yeah ok, I just love the sleepless nights).

I can count the number of people who have been there for me through my most 'questionable times' on one hand. Actually, on two -maybe three- fingers. Thank you for being there through my turbulent moments and for accepting me even when I make bad decisions. Thank you for hearing me out even when I say absolutely nothing. Thank you for 'layaning' my emotional roller coaster. Thank you for saying things I need to hear eventhough half the time, we both know I already know it. Thank you for being there for me no matter what a shit friend I can be at times.

Most of all, thank you for not being a Judgy McJudgypants.

Quickie Friday.

Sorry haven't had the time (and inspiration) to blog. Life's been busy busy busy but in a good way.

Updates:

1. Sabah Tourism Awards coming up! It's crunch time, lots to finish up. And my dress isn't quite ready.

2. Deadlines. What else is new.

3. Went to watch 30 Days of Night. Boley la. I just remember feeling cold throughout the movie.

4. Waiting for Beowulf to open.

5. Blanket is doing much better but I keep him caged up because he's starting his wandering ways again! He just doesn't learn.

6. I'm stressed out about moving, leaving and turning a new chapter.

7. I find comfort in a quick drink or two with friends.

8. I can't wait for Christmas!

9. I'm going for a Swedish massage today. I'll let u know if I survive.

10. I like the Jordin Sparks song, Tattoo.

There you go. Ten things in my life right now. Be right back!