Monday, April 16, 2007


If God one day decreed that I had to sing in order to save the world, mankind as we know it will face extinction.

Now here's the thing: I LOVE to sing. But just because you love eating chocolate cake don't mean you can bake one, you know what i mean? So yes, I love to sing but my skills are questionable. There is only one place for a person like me:


It's a guilty pleasure, I'll admit. But I have Ten GOLDEN commandments:

1. Thou shalt not sing in a public lounge or an area filled with strangers
2. Thou shalt ONLY sing in a private room, preferably soundproof
3. Thou shalt only sing with people who have known you for a reasonable amount of time and promise not sever any ties with you upon hearing your lack of vocal prowess
4. Thou shalt not mike hog: Choose two songs and politely pass the remote control to the next person
5. Thou shalt not interrupt someone during a song and attempt to sing louder
6. Thou shalt not interrupt someone during a song and attempt to (hideously) do a 'second voice'
7. Thou shalt not annoy others by endlessly claiming, "Ooh ooh, this is MY song!" at every other song
8. Thou shalt NEVER go American Idol on a fellow Karaoke-er after a performance by making comments such as, "That was pitchy" or "Absolutely horrendous"
9. Thou shalt not choose a ridiculously difficult song just because you like it and tell your friend, "Ok you sing it."
10. Thou shalt pack a generous dose of humour during every Karaoke session.

I have a select group of people I would hit the Karaoke with (you know who you are). And each session never fails to cheer me up or destress me. Perhaps its knowing you can ridiculously sing your heart out (tunelessly too) and your friends will still love you. Or the fact that you know the lyrics to Britney's 'Sometimes' doesn't necessarily mean you're a loser (hey I absorb lyrics fast,ok. Sue me). For the next two or three hours, you can literally sing your blues away and not really care how bad you sound. It's therapeutic, really.

Don't you just love some of the song selections they have? And you NEVER dream you'd sing along but when you do, it's so hilarious that you just have to! Here are some guaranteed pick-me-up songs I recommend in the Karaoke:

1. Disney's Under The Sea -Sebastian the lobster (was he a lobster?) sang this and I love putting on a Jamaican accent whenever I have a go at this.

2. Copacabana - Seriously. I don't even have to explain this one. How can you go wrong with lyrics like, "With yellow feathers in her hair, and a dress cut down to there" ?

3. YMCA - SO oversung but still so fun.

4. Yellow Submarine - I underestimated this song until my cousins belted it out last week...OMG it's hilarious. Esp if you start marching around the room.

5. Downtown - an oldie by Petula Clark. Such a feel good song. Downnnnntownnnnn!

6. These Boots Are Made For Walking - You must watch the original Nancy Sinatra video of this song. You might get a little distracted but after enough practice, you'll pull through.

7.My Favourite Things - Ah yes, Julie Andrews. For extra fun-ness, sing this with a clipped English accent.

8. Staying Alive - Admit it, even YOU don't know the actual lyrics to this song.

9. I Hate Myself For Loving You - Unleash the Joan Jett in you! For added effect, sing it like you mean it. Roar.

10.I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing - Because NOBODY can really sing this song except for Steve Tyler. If you feel like slaughtering a song beyond recognition, this is the one for you.

Have you karaoke-d today?

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