It was a Friday of many firsts. But long story short, my morning started slow and steady until someone in the office stepped on my toes. Now here's something some of you might know about me. I've always been Mr. Nice Guy. I hate arguments. I cringe at confrontation. I try to be politically correct whenever possible. I'm the doormat extraordinaire...As long as everyone's happy.
But Friday, I cracked. Maybe it was my lack of sleep. Maybe it was the heavy workload. But when one of my subordinates went rude on me, I cracked. In some ways, it was a relief to show my temper. To reveal a part of me that's human after all. In the office, I always try to keep things light-hearted. I joke with the security guards, I tease my fellow workmates to make them laugh, I hum happy songs to keep my spirits up while I'm doing mindless photocopying. But i realised perhaps my sunny disposition has been misread as "I'm a schmuck so please step all over me." I worry too much about being liked by my colleagues - but I never thought how that might affect their respect for me.
So what's a girl to do? Learn, I suppose. On the other hand, my colleagues need to learn that just because I'm always ready to share a joke, it doesn't mean I'm willing to take their bad attitude. I DESERVE respect because I respect others. I'm not selling myself short anymore.
I'm nice. Not naive. I'm polite. Not a doormat.
My Friday just went downhill from there. In a nutshell, we had some problems with our printed publicity materials for an upcoming event. It was a careless mistake by a colleague and just as I felt one of my veins pop in my forehead, I walked away. I had no more energy to lose my temper and instead of getting upset, it was more important I had the problem fixed. I wanted to scream and shout and spew obscenities but instead, I made up my mind that this was a sign that things had to change in the office. My immediate boss-whom nobody messes with- is on maternity leave which makes me in charge till she gets back. I have a feeling that the staff are slacking because they're probably thinking, "Missy's in charge? That's like declaring a holiday!"
Let the games begin.