Cinemetiquette

I went to the cinema last night. I love going to the movies, especially if it's clean, organised and doesn't smell like rat piss.

However, I strongly believe there are some people out there whose sole purpose in life is to make the whole cinematic experience for others a living hell. Please bear with me as I take you through the Top 10 ANNOYING people/habits/whatever in the Cinema:

1. Handphones: Come on, SERIOUSLY, do I even need to mention this? Some cinemas even put friendly reminders on the huge-ass screen to put your phone on silent mode or turn it off. And if you're an ignorant moron who can't read, the picture of a phone with a huge slash across it should give you a hint. Still, at some point, a phone will ring (an annoying techno buzz tone to boot) and people go," Oi, ssshhhh". But noooooo. The next thing you hear is, "HALLO? AH MING AH? I WATCH MOVIEEEE. MA KAI?"

2. Food other than popcorn/soda: I've seen people sneak in fries and burgers. Noisy sunflower seeds (kuaci). Even 'mangga jeruk'. But last night really took the cake. The movie was about to start and these four girls in front of me whip out their dinner. And when i say dinner, I mean rice with FISH and some veggie cooked in sambal. Who the fuck eats sambal in the cinema? You have to be stupid multiplied by 800 to do such a thing. The guys behind me were saying, "What is that smell?" Please refers to row F seats 12 to 15.

3. Yappers: The movie already has a dialogue and yet some people feel compelled to ad-lib.

Girl 1: "Nah you see ah...He's the bad guy."
Girl 2: "No, he's the hero tu. *pause* I think he's the hantu.
Girl 1: "Ya ya! Hantu dat, hantu dat."

Or the people who give running commentaries:
Girl: "He's opening the door..."
Guy: "He's looking around..."
Girl: "He's turning on the lights..."

Last night, I sat beside the noisiest yappers. The girl beside me had the most irritating laugh and expressions. She kept saying, "Oh-doi!" every few minutes. I wanted to oh-doi her with a slap.

4. Fidgeting: I hate sitting beside people who can't keep still. Leg shakers are the worst. Hey, bozo, the seats are connected so when you shake you hairy leg, you're shaking the whole row.

5. Children (accompanied by ignorant parents): I like kids. Especially when they're sleeping. I don't like them when they are running around in cinemas, asking a million questions about the 'bad man' or need to use the toilet for the 17th time. Another tip for procreators: Movies have ratings for a reason. Bringing your 4-year-old to watch 'The Hills Have Eyes' is a great way to ensure sleepless nights for the next two weeks.

6. Latecomers: You know that thing with a short hand and a long hand and goes tick tick tick? Use it.

7. Couples making out...In front of you: Two words - back row.

8. Souvenirs from the last show: I don't fancy sitting on mouldy popcorn or stepping on someone's spilt soda. Why can't people pick up after themselves? It's like dogs who need pooper-scoopers during their walk in the park. Clean up your own shit.

9. People in the wrong seat: This never fails to amaze me. I can understand if you get one seat wrong ("Oh sorry, you're right. This is J12, mine's J13"). But a whole row??? Tip for the Idiot: The letter on your ticket is your ROW and the number is your SEAT. Seat M10 does not mean 'Mana-Mana 10'.

10. People who give away the plot: Very likely to be Yappers (see no.3). So you've seen the movie 3 times and you know who the bad guy really is. Shut the hell up. You're not gonna get a pat on the head for giving away the plot.

If you are guilty of any of the above, do us all a favour and watch the DVD at home.

Damn crystal ball.

I went to a fortune teller not too long ago. One of those things you do when your next best Saturday night option is watch paint dry.Now, I'm a cynical optimist. For example, I'd love to win the lottery but I know it won't happen to me. See? Positive but realistic. But I went to see the dude nonetheless.

Anyway, the fortune teller -who looked more like a Math tuition teacher than a Madam Zora type- calculated my birthdate and time of birth and based on that, he plotted out my whole life before me. He got a few things wrong (He said he sees a bad relationship between me and my siblings. Nope) but he got some bits right, which I realistically attribute to a lucky shot in the dark.

But he did say some things that bothered me. And I chose to ignore it until I realised he was probably on to something. Master Z (we'll just call him that) said that he could 'see' that I had a bad year so far and unfortunately, this year will see me 'cry some more'. To top it off, he said that I would experience a lot of relationships before finding the 'One' (no, not Jet Li). AND even after I find my so-called tall, dark and handsome stranger, my marriage would be a lonely one. Oh and to add insult to injury, not only would my future husband leave me lonely but the reason he'll be so bloody successful and loaded (hence too busy to spend time with his lovely wife) is because I bring him luck. I bring HIM luck and he can't spend the weekend with me??? wtf.

On a better note, he did say that my career would improve and the myriad of people I meet along the way will help me in some way or another. Apparently, my networking is the key to my success so he advised that I keep 'socialising' (no complaints there). And then he bent over his crystal ball, and in a crackling voice, accompanied by rumbling thunder in the background, he waved his crooked finger at me and said, "Oh woe be upon you should you choose to betrothe this year!"

Ok la, not exactly so but he did say, "One thing la, this year ah...Better don't get married wan. Not good year for marriage."

Oh gee well, Master Z, I better tell the 57 men lining up outside my door begging for my hand in marriage to wait till next year. *pbth*

He's right about one thing though: My tearducts have been working overtime the past year and I foresee I got a lot more tears to go before the year is up. Maybe i'm just PMS-ing 365 days a year. Whatever it is, i must bear in mind - This too shall pass. And good food will solve everything.

Ok its lunch time.

Time is of the essence.

It's 8:15 am and I'm already in the office. It's nice and quiet, i suppose everyone is still downstairs having brekkie or in the pantry making coffee. It's Friday, which means:
1. Lunch is a two and a half hour affair. Sweet.
2. THE WEEKEND IS HERE!

I can almost see time sprouting wings and doing that flying thing. It's July already. And in a week's time, it'll be August. I cannot stress enough how much I want the year to end. I just want 2006 to zoom by. It has been a less than pleasant year for me (it's gonna get less pleasant soon) and I dread what lies ahead from now till the New Year. Can someone press the fast forward button already?

Speaking of time, there are moments that I would love to freeze frame or put into slow mo. Like my time in Mabul island *dreamy sigh*, Mataking *BIG SMILE* or Saturday afternoons with people who make me happy. Call me crazy but I like being happy. Not enough of those Kodak moments these days. But all the money and sitting,waiting wishing in the world isn't going to stop/move time. So there is only one thing left to do: Take each day as it comes, expecting the worst while hoping for the best. As for those lovely moments with lovely people, I'm just going to soak it up and indulge while it lasts. As much as I feel that the year is creeping oh so slowly, time is fleeting. And there are things I need to do and say before time is up. I have to let go of the past and embrace the future...Because I know all the shitty things behind me have to stay there if I ever want to carve a better future for myself.

We're running out of tomorrows and we live in too many yesterdays. And damn, I'm not getting any younger.

Mabul Island: Me likey.

Photographic evidence of one the best weekends I've had in the past year:

Sunset at Mabul. See that light in the background on the right hand side? It's an oil rig that's been converted into a dive resort, operated by Seaventures. I might be heading there soon to do another story.
An hour upon arrival...Taking a quick tour of the island and enjoying the shade. That look on my face says, "Ok enough photos, me wanna jump in the sea!"This is my room. I stayed at the Sipadan Mabul Water Bungalows. My own king sized bed, Astro, a DVD player and balcony! Too bad it was only for a night.
Each bungalow is given two bicycles each, to allow their 'lazy' guests to explore the island via wheels. That's me taking a breather and checking out the fishies.

Aaah, the Ka'andaman Spa at Mabul. Is that a view or what? Waves lapping, trees swaying, me lazing.


A foot massage was in order. Me? Pampered? What would you give you such an idea...?
Look at that soft, white sand. And the sky so blue!
Another shot of Mabul as the sun goes down. They told us that turtles are often spotted around 9pm or so. We waited that night but no sign of the beauties. Better luck next time.

All that sun, sea and foot massaging had me exhausted, so here I am, soaking in more rays at my very own sun deck. What can I say...All in a day's work.

Quick, I can post photos!

OMG I can post photos! Ok gonna take this opportunity while i can...More photos from the cruise liner, Superstar Virgo: That's the pool area. Hence, the pool behind me. Duh.

Look who I found onboard! Fellow cruiser Selina. (by the way, that railing my elbow is resting on is really hot). The bbq at my place couple of weeks back. Carol (sexy chick in blue) was the sambal belacan queen. Pink tights would be me. It took half an hour for Sel, Rol and yours truly to get that tiny pit going. AND we didn't burn down the house. How's that for effort?

My brother Johann trying to look busy. He's actually just waiting to jump on those huge prawns (punya main sedap, by the way). Selina in the background, Queen of Coal, haha.
Sel: Ta-da! haha, i love this photo of her! Again, note huge-ass prawns.
Trust my brother and his monkey friend, Sofian, to steal the limelight.

"Come on Haw, faster faster!" - Haw the Man of Fire fans the flames. Note the tiny sparks coming out from the base of the pit. Oh yes, there was a hole in my pit (now that just doesn't sound right).

Yep, as fate would have it, that was the last photo blogger would let me post. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS!?!? Till the next episode...

Wedding Belles

Here comes the bride! It's not quite wedding season but I do have two lovely friends who will be tying the knot in the near future. Oh, whaddayaknow, they're my fellow bloggers! I bring the you the lovely Lynn and jambu Joyce - who are also the best of friends. Sigh, don't you just love it when the universe is happy and in order? Congratulations girls!

I love weddings, the more original the idea, the better. I really think people should veer from the whole Chinese-sit-down-dinner style, no offense. Not only do I find it impersonal but out of 500 guests, you'll probably recognise only 50 of them. And the food. Ai. Don't get me started on the whole fish-maw-sweet-and-sour-whatever-with-ten-season-treasures-whathaveyou. And if you've been to a Chinese wedding, you'll notice that the Bride and Groom look really uneasy with pasted smiles, doing whatever the drunk MC on stage is instructing them to do (Cut the cake! First dance! Hug your parents!) and the spotlight is on them all throughout the 8-meal course.

Me? I would much rather do a painless church service, followed by a nice cocktail by the beach (or pool. or any water element), lots of people dancing, drinking, laughing until the bride and groom disappear into the sunset, embarking on a romantic one-week honeymoon.

But knowing my luck - and heritage - my wedding would certainly involve:

1. 600 of my 'closest' family members.
2. Two kerbaus (buffaloes. A Kadazan thing)
3. Lots of alcohol (this I don't mind, heh heh) and...

4. a Chinese-sit-down-dinner style banquet.

Sigh. But before I digress any further, I had a point to this post. Ladies and Gentlemen, meet Louis Pang, a photographer friend of mine who I think is a complete genius at what he does. He is the founder of the Love Storybook, a concept where couples can have their whole wedding immortalised in a book. We're not talking 150 pages here. More like 30-60 pages of really beautiful photos (taken by Louis himself) of the bride, groom, family and friends. He has it printed in Japan so I can assure you we're talking top-notch quality here. The books are done in a really stylish yet classy way, something you'll be proud to whip out 50 years from now. And best part is, the damage on the wallet is pretty reasonable - You would probably spend the same amount on ridiculous studio shots of you and your future spouse in matching Samurai outfits. Sad. Very. Oh and Louis is a fantastic person to boot. Friendly, good looking (married, sorry girls) and, as i mentioned earlier, a genius at what he does. And so modest about it too, heh heh. It's the first and only of its kind in Malaysia and the response is so overwhelming that Louis is 2 weddings shy from being fully booked for 2006! Check out his work at his website and if you need to get in touch with him, I'll help you. Word of advice: Book him WAY in advance.

Plus he's Sabahan. He SO rocks.

"if this life gets any harder now,
It ain't no never mind
You got me by your side..."
-Aerosmith, Fly Away From Here. Dedicated to the Wedding Belles. Wishing you a lifetime of happy mornings waking up beside the only person you'd want to wake up to.

In today's news...

Friday already. How the week flies. Yes, yes, the usual round of 'I've been busy bla bla bla' but since i have some time to squeeze before I get chained to my desk answering mundane phonecalls and replying even more mundane e-mails...Here goes.

And guess who beat Germany (sorry Yo. I wanted them to win too) and is going to the finals:

Mama mia, Italia!
I'm hoping my Frenchie boys will win the Cup - Arsenal's almost French anyway.

Oh yeah, last month I visited the Superstar Virgo liner while it was in KK (it was a twin-docking as Superstar Gemini arrived a few hours later). It was massive and impressive, to say the least. I think it had at least 15 floors (I kid you not), complete with a lobby, casino, several restaurants, gym, spa, hair salon...Even a jogging track on the upper deck! I took a few shots to show my kids and their kids years from now, "Grandma Mel sailed the seven seas in her heydays. Life was full of luxuries back then. Until I married your father/grandfather." haha.

Pic: In the elevator. The ship has an ELEVATOR. I'm so damn sakai, i know.

Anyway, I had loads more photos to share but blogger's photo posting failed me yet again halfway through this entry. Dang...Is anyone else having this problem? In other updates, I will be in Mabul island this weekend. Yes, for work. Oh woe is me. NOT. heh heh. Tonight I'm off to Gunter's for some German sausages (yes, work again) followed by a little bbq in my house. A little gathering my brother organised for his flight school students.

A little info I heard on the radio that nearly made me swerve into a tree on the way to work today: Ronan Keating is doing a cover version of Goo Goo Doll's 'Iris'.

What is this world coming to? Johnny Rzenik must be vomiting blood somewhere right now, listening to his song slaughtered by Keating - who really should stick to his 'awwww so sweet' ballads.

"I found a reason to show a side of me you didn't know. A reason for all that I do. And the reason is you."
- current MP3 blasting away in the office. Hoobastank's The Reason.