Thursday, May 14, 2009

A Letter To Melissa

Dear Melissa At 16,

I know life is frustrating and unsure right now but I'm here to tell you....It's gonna be that way for a while! But i'm also here to tell you, it's nothing you cannot handle. Right now, you're worried about school and which path to take from here on. You're worried about which of the girls in school like your or think you're a loser. You hate your Good Girl image but you've never been the rebellious one neither. You want to please so many people and you think the amount of trophies and medals you have are a testament to your accomplishments. Sure, it always feels good to win and be recognised. In fact, you're gonna want that for the rest of your life.

But in time, those 50 girls you know in school amount to nothing because only a handful of them will see you through. I'm here to tell you that you can't be friends with EVERYone and that's ok. You will realise you only need 5 or 6 really good friends in your life - Friends who will tell you your panty lines are showing or hold your hair back as you puke into the toilet bowl after the 5th Flaming Lambo.

And boys. Oh yes, you have no idea what to make of them right now! Boys at 16 are such puzzling creatures. But let me tell you this: They're just as puzzling at 30. You like that boy because he's cute and he's going to do so well in his SPM (yes its ok to be a geek!) and all the other girls are just as crazy about him. But when you reach 30, you'll want that man who can make you laugh, will be there when you need him for the most ridiculous of things and thinks your family is awesome. And it won't hurt if he has ambition too.

There's no such thing as a fairytale, Melissa.No knight is going to come sweeping you off your feet. If anything, they're going to knock you off your feet and plenty of times, you'll have to learn to pick yourself up again. Don't be disheartened - As many idiots there are out there, you will meet plenty of worthy ones too. You'll fall in love and it will be the best feeling in the world. You'll break some hearts and it will be the worst feeling in the world. And then there's that first broken heart and I am here to caution you: It's not going to be pretty. But you have the inner strength of 10,000 men and you just don't know how to summon it yet. Trust me when I say, there is absolutely NOTHING you cannot handle.

Don't lose sight of your ambition. It's not always going to turn out the way it should - You're not going to law school but you will continue your pursuit of writing. That will always be your true love and nothing will stop you. I'll tell you a secret: You're going to be a journalist! And it will humble you beyond words. I know right now you think you know it all and your brilliance is blinding but honey, you know nuts.

Stop judging people. It's become a bad habit especially in your formative years. But so many people in your lives are going to introduce you to a whole new world of messy break-ups, broken marriages, tragedies, hard lives and living with illness - And you will realise things are never what they seem. So stop judging people and perhaps they will stop judging you.

Your college years will be the best years of your life and you will make lasting friendships. Life gets more 'colourful' in your 20s and, ever the optimist, you'll always find a silver lining. But there will be one very dark patch and you won't be taking very good care of yourself. Melissa, the bottle doesn't solve anything. And you will wake up and realise he was not worth the abuse.

You will grow. From strength to strength. People and situations will knock you down when you least expect it but I'm telling you from where I'm standing, there's nothing you cannot overcome. But there is one thing you and I share: We'll always be fools for love. The difference is, at 30, you'll know what you're worth far more than you think at 16 - And that will help you make a more wisened decision when it comes to matters of the heart.

Melissa, you are blessed. Never forget that with the grace of God you will go places and achieve things you never imagined. And don't take the people in your life for granted, especially your family. Even at 30, you'll still be the 'baby' and you gotta work that to your advantage, haha! You'll meet friends who are just GOLDEN and you'll let go of the ones who no longer bring goodness to your life. And that's ok.

You'll turn 30 and be right where I am. And I promise you will look back and be amazed at what you are capable of. I think Melissa at 40 will have an even better story to tell.

love always,
Melissa at 30

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