The best worst news.

S: I got a job! I got THE job!

Me: What job?

S: The job! The one in Mabul!

Me: *pause* That's great! I'm really happy for you.

S: I can't believe it! I'm so overwhelmed....

Me: When do you leave?

S: Saturday.

Me: This Saturday?

S: Yep.

Me: You're leaving this Saturday?

S: Yes, I'll be there for a few months.

Me: Wow. This saturday huh?

S: Isn't it great?

Me: It is. I really am happy for you.

And I am. I am so happy for my best friend. I know she's wanted this job so bad and when I see the people I love deliriously happy, it makes me happy. I don't tell her this often enough but I never would have gotten through the year without her. She knows all my deepest darkest secrets. She knows what makes me laugh. And she's there when I need to cry - even for the dumbest reasons. She'll drive with me to McDonald's at 3:00am because I feel like having fries. She doesn't tire of my incessant ramblings about the same old things. And most of all, she lets me be who I am and reminds me that it's ok to mess up once in a while.

I am happy for you. Truly. But I hate you for being so wonderful that now it breaks my selfish heart that you're leaving. I know you'll be back but I'm so scared you won't. I don't have anyone like you in my life right now and I feel like i'm losing a limb. Things are so scary right now...I dunno if I'll pull through without you.

But believe me when I say I am happy for you. Truly. Because best friends love each other like that. Jaga kau if you don't come back.

Kurang ajar.

There is no reason to snap, yell, shout or scream at someone unless:
a) they are standing some 30 feet away from you
b) something is on fire
c) they are in imminent danger
d) it's a shouting contest
e) they are hearing-impaired (but even then, why would scream at a deaf person? Duh)

It's not nice. It's just not nice. I have an issue with a person (or two) who cannot seem to talk to me nicely. I keep telling myself maybe he/she just talks like that. With one of the persons (I'll call him Jack) I realise he memang is 'kurang ajar' (translation: rude. Mother never taught him manners) to everyone. He answers the phone with, "Mmm yes? What? ha?" Anything with more than one syllable is a huge effort for him. And although I keep telling myself that Jack is like that with everyone, it still doesn't make it alright. Especially when you are polite in the first place, right?

And then there's this other guy...I'll call him Ass (er...short for Assando, yeah he's Italian). Now, HE doesn't fail to sting me with his rudeness and callousness. And whenever I try to point it out to him by saying, "Hey dude, relax, no need to get so angry", he responds by getting angrier and saying, "I'm having a bad day!" or "I'm not feeling well!" or my favourite, "It's because of the way YOU are...You make me say things like this!"

Wow. Classy.

You know people who are always frowning when you talk to them? Like everything you say is SO ridiculous and you're wasting their precious time? And when you decide NOT to say anything for fear of annoying your friend (I use the term loosely) further, he gets all pissy and says, "Why? Why you so quiet now? Upset lah? Angry lah? Aiyaaaa see la you! So difficult!" I cannot win with this Ass. But what really really gets my goat is that he can be so bloody rude to me and in two seconds, call his other friends and sound like the coolest, happiest guy ever. And then he hangs up his phone, frowns at me, shakes his head and rants about how he's so angry about everything. Which of course translates to, "I'm about to be rude to you the whole day and i have a valid reason so you should be understanding if you're my friend."

Why do I bother? Because I have this eternal fixation to mend 'broken' people like him - because I always believe there's good even in the worst people. To pick his pieces apart like a watch and see what makes him and maybe, just maybe, if i can loosen a few screws here and there or fathom why the cogs move in such a way...I might be able to make sense of it all and realise he really is rude for a damn good reason.

But deep down, I know there never IS a good reason to be rude. My mother taught me better than that.

This is what keeps me going.

And this is what October brings...

A Christmas in the Jungle photoshoot. Jeez louise, what a nightmare to lug that tree into the hutan (heh poor Al). I handled the box while Jeremy carried a 'plastic bag' as we walked from the parking lot, across the beach and into the jungle under the blazing 10:00am sun.

Can you see us in the blue ball?

And then I saw a chicken at the Nature Reserve in Rasa Ria.

We attended Astrid's not-so-surprise birthday party. Heh heh. I sayang my cousins very much.

And then on the 22nd was Brian a.k.a Bumboy's 29th birthday. That's a LOT of candles. (ya ya ya i know I'm older than him). We were supposed to have the 'surprise' at a kedai kopi Chuan Hin near Hilltop but as I turned into the junction, about to park my car, I received a mayday sms from Chombe, "CHANGE VENUE! PIZZA HUT DAMAI!" Good thing I love these people or else. Also, I wish to stress the fact that cake and mushroom soup do NOT go together.

My brothers and I went paintballing. And i have the bruises to prove it.

Team Skyline! My cousin Bob, niece Francine, me and my brother Ted. Someone said "Smile!" when we took this photo. And i think we actually did. Bodo.

I often wake up to Blanket meowing outside my window, upon which I groggily let him in as he quickly finds a warm spot in my bed to plonk himself upon. And then he gives me*this* look as if I'm the one intruding HIS space. Geez.



Seeing that I'm not going to get out of MY bed to make 'room' for him, he jumps off, 'merajuk'-ing.

Malaysian celebs, Hans Isaac, Harith Iskandar and Douglas Lim were in town. We organised a press conference for them and took them out for dinner at Salut Seafood Restaurant. Here's a shot of me and Chris charming Hans with our natural good looks and finesse. And this is Hans totally digging us.

Two hours later, we find other means of entertainment. Ah yes, I can imagine what Hans was thinking: "Sabahan chicks are SO hot."

We hit a club and a pub and by 1:00am, I think all that seafood, interviews and travelling finally got to the guys. That's Hans in the middle and Douglas on the right. Spot the Sabahan who still appears sober after three bottles of JD. ( i know, this isn't the most flattering shot of them. Sorry boys, air brushing doesn't happen in the real world).

Today.

It has become such a rare occassion in the past year that I can actually say: I feel good today.

Maybe it's all the sweating I've been doing - futsal, a bit of netball (yes, don't ask) and squash. Maybe it's my super crazy schedule that involves dinner functions, interviews, photo shoots and meetings on top of my daily office work that's keeping me so busy that I don't have time to pull an Eeyore moment anymore.
Maybe it's hanging out with people who make me laugh.
Maybe it's because I talk to God more.
Maybe it's because I've cut down boozing and realise that being sober isn't such a bad thing, heh heh.

Whatever it is, today I feel good. And these days are so rare and in between that I wish I could capture the moment in a jar. Today, I feel like I can make it on my own and put my emotional crutches aside.

Tomorrow? Tomorrow is another story. But let's enjoy today, shall we?

Quickie.

I know you're sick of me going 'One step at a time' by now, heh heh. But I'm back to being busy - which definitely beats sitting in front of the computer, blogging about how depressed I am. I'll be back as soon as the dust settles. Which might be half past never. Thanks for dropping by. Stay tuned.

"We only got four seconds to save the world."
-Madonna and J.T on my speakers.

One step at a time.

You know that Jordin Sparks song? It's been playing in my head. Not that it's gonna make the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame or anything, but some songs just pierce your head now and then and stay there until it decides to exit.

But also because it should be my mantra to get me through the days. Things are rough. But rough, I have to tell myself, is a phase. And phases pass. Like any uphill climb, it's gonna get ugly and some days, you just tumble down 10 ten steps. But with persistence, dogged determination and strength, I can get there. Oh and a little help from my friends don't hurt neither.

I feel the need to do something drastic. Get a tattoo. Chop my hair off. Take up lessons in something I wouldn't normally do. Something most of you probably don't know is that I love playing the drums. I'm not good or anything, but when Haw was around (or whenever he comes back for a holiday), I get free 'lessons'. There is something so therapeutic about banging on them drums. And even more fun when Haw straps on his guitar and we jam. I feel like I'm in a band, haha! He's been meaning to pass the drums to me but I just don't see how I'm gonna sneak the set in without my parents noticing. Heh.

Something's gotta change. I'll get there.

Mel's month in photos

And so I've let August and September pass by. It's been a rough ride but here are my pleasure points along the way:

The Press Awards! Once a year, I love getting together with my ex-colleagues aka the journos of Sabah. Crazy monkeys but I wouldn't want them any other way.


Yolanda, me, Julia and a lot of wine. Ah bliss.


In case you don't know it yet, this is my after-work sanctuary where I enjoy a glass of red wine or the occassional cranberry vodka (or two. or three).


Weekend getaways with my girlfriends always promise the best moments. We laugh till we cry. And then we eat like there's no tomorrow and laugh some more. I don't know what I'd do without them.


We spent Yolanda's birthday at Langkah Syabas. This is Selina and Yolanda still in a celebratory mood at noon the next day. Either that or they're just delirious from lack of sleep.


I attended Jeri's wedding - one of the best ones I've been to in a long time! And the cupcakes were heaven. I'm so glad there was no wedding fruitcake, ugh. I miss spending time with Wil, Adrian and the boys. So I'm glad Wil and I are starting to have lunch together more often these days.

My dad's birthday means two things: Loud family reunions and lots of GRRREAT food. I heart mi familia very much. And I heart my dad's cooking even more. Heh heh.


I went on a secret holiday! Yep, I managed to take some days off, packed my bags and went to an undisclosed location. This is me being covert, heh. And don't bother asking me - I'm not gonna tell you where I went. I just really needed to get away from the hullabaloo of KK and its drama.


Jeri the effortlessly-beautiful bride! I'm glad chance brought us together to become friends because you are truly one of my favourite people in the world. You are my living hope that there's some sort of light at the end of the tunnel.

I just had to put a shot of Toscani's Alio Olio seafood pasta. Punyalah sedap. Sprinkle a generous amount of cheese, a dash of tabasco and you're good to go. I love that it's light yet filling. Great. Now I'm hungry.

My drinking comrades. Boob juggling, hair twirling, beer guzzling - Our moments are priceless, I tell you.


Real friends cheer you up at the risk of looking like....this.

My chicas have my back. And I wish Pu and Carol would get butts back here more often. But I'm grateful for the brief moments we spend together. Terima kasih for putting up with my
ramblings and I know I can be stubborn sometimes, but I hope you guys keep pushing till I get it through my thick skull. I need you like that.

October has landed. Here's to three more months to what I hope will be a less fortunate and more forgiving year.

"I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
Still mad as hell
And I don't have time to go round and round and round."
-Dixie Chicks, Not Ready To Make Nice. Singing my tune.