The Big Boss.

Bruce Lee should be 66 years old today. He was born Nov. 27, 1940. I may not be an avid fan but the man never fails to fascinate, even decades after his death. As a kid, i remember watching 'Enter The Dragon' and 'Fists of Fury' (which is also known as 'The Big Boss' and in Chinese, Tang shan da xiong - impressive no?). In a time when Asians were not often seen on the big Hollywood screen, Mr. Lee 'hai-ya'd' his way onto it. Ok , time for some interesting trivia:

1. Jackie Chan was a stuntman on Enter The Dragon and Fists of Fury

2. Bruce Lee studied all forms of fighting, from American boxing to Thai kickboxing. His main concept was 'fluidity' and after blending classical techniques and street-fighting, Lee came up with Jeet Kun Do.

3. He's not pure Chinese. His maternal grandfather was German.

4. He is the 4th of 7 children.

5. His nickname in the family was Mo Si Tung, which means 'Never sit still'

6. He died of an apparent cerebral edema (swelling of the brain) on July 20, 1973 at the age of 33. At his funeral, he was dressed in the same outfit he wore for 'Enter The Dragon'.

7. 'Enter The Dragon' was premiered a month after his death and became a world-wide success.

8. Before his death, he was filming some scenes 'Game of Death' but funding for 'Enter the Dragon' came in and he decided to put 'Game of Death' on hold first to film the bigger motion picture. Hence, he only managed to appear in 20 minutes of the 100-minute 'Game of Death' and two Bruce Lee lookalikes were used to appear in the remaining 80 minutes. Needless to say, the movie was not as successful as the others.


Don't get set into one form, adapt it and build your own, and let it grow, be like water." - Bruce Lee (1940-1973)

I snagged a Bruce Lee of my own:

More like 'Berus Lim'. Please don't go beating up people, k baby?

Professional Waiter, Part 2

I'm waiting. Story of my life. Waiting waiting waiting. Professional waiter. It's frustrating that even when you think you're taking control of your life and trying to change things, something will come along and get in the way. Rejected visiting visa applications. Full flights. Not enough money. Bla bla bla. And I had it all planned so well.

People tell me not to give up, but there's just so much rejection a girl can take. I WANT to keep going, keep planning, keep holding on for some miracle. But the more i build myself up, the harder I'll come crashing down - trust me, i'm talking from experience.

All I can do now is wait. Wait for news about applying for my visa again. Wait before I can book a flight to KL. Wait for the travel agency to see if I can fly my Cubby home. Wait before I can plan an alternative holiday. Wait for this whole bloody year to pass before I can be with Haw again. Wait wait wait wait.

And i feel bad because he feels bad because he thinks he's making me feel bad with all the waiting and the planning. Ala, kesian my baby. You just focus on being a world-famous animator so you can work with Pixar and Disney and we can get out of this hellhole and fly my girlfriends to the South of France where we'll lounge on our luxury yacht, drink champagne and laugh about the small people stuck in Malaysia.

I feel better already.

I'm thinking of going to Bali for a short break, if nothing goes as planned. Any other holiday ideas? Australia is another one - back to Melbourne perhaps? At least I don't need a stupid visa to visit their country. Darn Canadians.

A million miles. And then some.

So my weekend didn't turn out to be the best one.

In a nutshell:
1. I received bad news about my Canadian visa. And i have one last chance...
2. I should have spent Saturday night curled up with my cat
3. I had a fantastic time singing karaoke with Mia, Sel and Rol. ("You are GOLD! always believe in your soulllll....."
4. I have the best girlfriends ever.

My sister said I look a million miles away. That's fair considering I feel a million miles away. It's just that I can't get away from here fast enough. Everything is on auto-pilot mode and my first thought each morning is, "One day closer..." It helps me get through the day. I've said it before and I'll say it again: Soon isn't getting here soon enough.

I don't tell my chicas often enough, but every little sms, IM, random phonecall and corny joke you tell makes each day bearable. Most of all I love how you girls listen to the same old gripes everytime we gather around. I've had so many friends drift in and out of my life over the years but my girlfriends have remained a constant comfort in my life.

In other aspects of my so-called life:

I'm attending the Don Giovanni opera tomorrow night. Yay, i get to dress up!

I have six puppies! Sorry, all booked already. So cute. Puppies and kittens make any shit day better.

Going to KL for a quick trip sometime this week or Monday, latest. Long story.

Song that plays in my head like a broken record:

" You are GOLD! Always believe in your soul. You're indestructible..."
-Gold, Spandau Ballet. So 80's, so ridiculous to sing to in karaoke but so addictive!

Thursday.

It's good to know where you stand sometimes, so you know whether it's worth fighting for or time to move on.

Thanks for opening my eyes, boys. I've deluded myself so long by putting my faith in the wrong people. I refuse to feel second best. I refuse to feel the shame of rejection over and over again. And to put things in perspective, I have no one to blame but myself for empowering the wrong people to affect how I feel.

Today is the day - News that will make or break my December plans will be revealed. Stay tuned.

Bonding with Bond

"I'll have a martini."

"Shaken or stirred, sir?"

"Do I look like I give a damn?"

The name is Bond. James Bond. Last night, I went to watch my first ever James Bond movie - i kid you not. Cathay Cineplex gave me two free tickets for their private screening and I figured it was better than spending Monday night watching Astro again.

J (our new graphic designer, in place of Haw) and I decided the best way to enjoy the movie was to have no expectations. As much as I wasn't a fan of the show, I also opened myself to the possibility that it might be half decent.

Plus, I was really curious to see how the much-talked about Daniel Craig would fare in this movie. He may not be much to look at but this scene convinced me otherwise:Judging from the gasps from the other ladies in the cinema, I can see my sentiment was shared.

Anyway, in true Bond-movie style, the movie begins with a film noir element, lots of shadows, suspicious man walking in the dead of the night etc. What I did enjoy was the opening credits. The animation was fascinating. And so it began. My little 2 hour rendezvous with 007 (yes, it's a pretty long movie so I suggest getting very comfortable seats).

Enter quintessential bad guy, played by Mads Mikkelsen.
Just how villain-like can he get. Let's see: Sleek side-parted hair? Check. Steely evil gaze? Check. Almost handsome but in a creepy way? Check. Scar on right eye probably with a really good story behind it? Check. Foreign accent? Check. And, for added pizzazz, he cries tears of blood. Apparently, it's some medical condition due to his injured eye (hence the scar). But it definitely adds to his bad guy factor, i tell you that. One of my favourite character is the no-nonsense, quick-witted M, played by none other than Dame Judi Dench:

"Pull that stunt again and I'll replace you with Pierce Brosnan"

And the Bond girls? I wasn't impressed with Chick Number One (i can't even remember her name) and her only memorable scene was bouncing on a horse along the beach. Which made many male viewers very happy for 30 seconds I would think. However, I was rather fond of Vesper Lynd (played by the very English rose-like Eva Green). Fuyoh, cantik oh. Although Vesper isn't going to make the top ten baby names this century, I think the name definitely beats other Bond Girls before:

1.Dr. Christmas Jones (Denise Richards) : After a bedroom scene, Bond turns to her and says, "I thought Christmas only comes once a year." Please. Shoot me now.

2. Honey Ryder (Ursula Andress): Self explanatory.

3. Thumper (Trina Parks): The first ever black Bond Girl. And they named her Thumper.

The ideal Bond sandwich: Eva Green on the left. Girl on horse, on the right.

This Bond film was definitely less gadgety than the others. The cars were still really cool (the Aston Martin Bond won in a game of poker was my favourite) and, for someone who isn't into action movies, the action scenes were pretty gripping. Some people lament that this James Bond is too talky-talky and feely-feely. Granted, he may not be super-jantan like Sean Connery or Mr. Rico Suave like Pierce Brosnan, but what he lacked in those areas, he made up for in acting skills. I think he played a believable secret agent for a change and wasn't afraid to mess up his pretty face. He was definitely more unrefined than previous Bonds, but it was exactly that brute-like aura that made him more enjoyable to watch. However, do watch out for cheesy lines that will make you roll your eyes so far back you can see your brain:

Vesper: Even if you were left with a smile and a small finger, you are more of a man than anyone else I know.
Bond: That's because you know what I can do with my little finger.

Bond: (tasting a drink) I think I shall call this a Vesper.
Vesper: Is it because of the bitter aftertaste?
Bond: No. It's because once you taste it, you wouldn't drink anything else.

And you wonder why I've never bothered to watch a single Bond film before this.

Also noteworthy are the poker game scenes. All that tension and bluffing and million dollar chips on the table. Very cool. Oh, and don't miss the torture scene in the end where Bond gets his balls whipped (literally). An ideal punishment for so many men in the world, sigh.

I may not be the best person in the world to comment on a Bond movie but on a personal note, I didn't think the movie was all that bad. That said, I wouldn't watch it twice. And for a first time Bond experience, I assume it could've been worse. Many people ask why I've never sat down and watched an entire Bond movie (i've sat through bits and pieces and had no patience to finish one). It's just all a bit too...Jantan for me. Masculine. All those hi-tech gadgets make 007 damn lazy if you ask me. And it irritates the hell out of me everytime he beds a Bond girl, them swooning at his feet, unable to 'resist' his manly charm. Please. Correct me if I'm wrong, but Michelle Yeoh is the only Bond girl who did not succumb to his bedding ways (Malaysia memang boleh bah...).

Verdict: Big yay for Daniel Craig, for shutting up the critics and making Bond more believable. A big boo for still making Bond girls ornamental.

Monday

It's Monday all over again.

I'm sleepy. I haven't been sleeping well. My skin is breaking out so bad that I almost didn't want to come to work today. I have a pimple so huge that you might even mistake it as a second nose. My neck aches from my long road trip to Kota Marudu yesterday in a very uncomfortable van. I got home and wanted to nap but I couldn't. It was a quiet evening so I decided to visit Haw's parents. Probably the highlight of my weekend was going to his house, seeing his parents, both of whom remind me so much of him - and it makes me miss him a bit less. Just a bit.

I felt a slight pang when i realised my handphone has been oh so quiet. I hardly get smses or calls from my so-called friends anymore (read previous post). I figured that's probably because I'm not exactly a bundle of joy to be with anymore. You know, I knew that when i broke up with 'him', the whole dynamics of the group would be affected. After all, they were 'his' friends to start off with. How naive of me to wonder where their loyalties lie. Ah, what rose-coloured glasses i wear at times...

Anyway, when I got back from Haw's place, I did more work and later that night, had my usual online date with the Cubby. I got tired early so had to cut it short and hit the sack. I woke up at exactly 4:18am - i checked my handphone - and couldn't get back to sleep.

It's gonna be a long day, I can feel it already.

The Boys.

Help me understand something.

Three years ago, I met a bunch of guys. Nice guys. Different personalities but essentially the same. They had grown up together, ran in pretty much the same circles and –as disturbing as this might sound- even swapped girlfriends in high school. It was a ‘brotherly’ thing to do, it seemed. Right. Anyway, these guys became my friends. And I admit they were a pretty fun bunch to be with. Always good for a laugh, did the whole ‘shoulder to cry on’ thing…Usual Hallmark moments. And slowly, they started to get into relationships. One after another. John would hook up and few months later, Jack would introduce his girlfriend, Jim would follow suit. You get the pic. Soon, we were one big happy family. Everyone started talking about having steady careers, stable relationships and how their ‘chick searching days’ were supposedly over. And then John dumped his girlfriend. And then so did Jack a couple of months later and even Jim started to have relationship problems. These guys literally went through EVERYthing together.

Today, these guys are all on the single market again. Which means they’re out on the prowl for fresh meat, bored with their whiny exes and figuring out who still has his mojo goin’ on. I’ve been out with them on several occasions and listened to their talks of how great it was to be single again. My oh my, how they celebrated. Together, of course. Saturday nights were reserved for Shenanigan’s (KK's meat market, haha), their usual hunting ground. They’d come in, all smiles, flashing bottles and nudging each other as each skirt passes by. Eyes glued to the entrance as each piece of ‘meat’ (as one of them tells me without batting an eyelid) comes through. Too short. Too tall. Boobs to small. Too Chinese (coming from a bunch of Chinese guys, this has got to be the most amusing kind of racism around). And the best part is, after all that criticism, the night progresses into hitting on any female with a pulse. “I just need to get laid. It doesn’t matter at this point. It doesn’t mean anything anyway,” one of them told me.

Now, being my friends, I figured boys will be boys. But as time passed by and word got around (KK can be too small), I began to see their predatory game in a different light. They became the kind of men that you stayed away from in clubs and pubs. The ones who leered and rubbed up against you on the dance floor. The ones they themselves used to protect us from. The irony of it all. One day, one of them told me that women were just pieces of meat to him at this point. He had gotten out of a relationship and was anything but ready to get into a new one. “I don’t need a female companion in that sense. It’s just too much for me. I just need to have sex but once emotions get in the away, I’m gonna dump her,” he said.

Mother Teresa once said that if you judge people, you don’t have time to love them. But I’ll bet that even Mother Teresa, bless her soul, would agree that this friend of mine needed to be bitch-slapped. As non-judgmental as I wanted to be, something just wasn’t right with his statement. I knew exactly what it was. His utter disrespect for women. Yes, I’ll agree he’ll probably find a slut to suit his needs but I hate to imagine how many more hearts he’s gonna trample on the way to his bedroom.

But I'm in a dilemma. These are my friends and in some perverse way I miss them. Still, I cannot spend any more Saturday nights watching them on the prowl and Sunday mornings listening to them brag about who has the highest score. What happened to the guys who went clubbing for the simple idea of having a few drinks and a good laugh? Or the ones who enjoyed a good movie or a weekend road trip? I miss the friends whom I could talk to and share stories with. Can you still like your friends but lose respect for them? When I hear or see how they treat women,I can't help but feel perhaps they view me with the same lack of respect - simply because I am a woman. And it seems to me, a female bonk is far more important to them right now than a female friend.

I hope it's a phase. Until then, thank God for girlfriends.

55 Questions. 55 Answers.

Ok kawan-kawan, plucked this off Mia's blog. You've been tagged.

1. NAME ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT ?
- one on my right leg. When I was five I fell of my bike and landed on a broken Coke bottle.

2.WHERE ARE YOU?
- My favourite domain – Office!

3. WHAT DOES YOUR MOBILE PHONE LOOK LIKE?
- chipped. Silver. I hate it.

4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
- anything goes. On my player now, Aerosmith

5. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT DESKTOP PICTURE?
- My cat, Moo Moo sleeping on my couch.

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
- To be with Haw.

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
- Haw.

8. WHAT TIME WERE YOU BORN?
- bout 9pm

10. WHAT ENDED YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP?
- Him declaring three times “I don’t love you anymore.” Yes, I can be THAT dense.

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
- sometimes.

12. YOUR FAVOURITE FOOD
- Dad’s cooking. Salmon sashimi. Pasta. My sister’s Chicken Lihing soup.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE PERFUME?
- One of my earlier perfumes, Burberry’s. The scent always brings me back to the good times in college.

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
- Doesn’t matter.

15. DO YOU LIKE PAINKILLERS?
- when in pain, yes.

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINKS?
- Energy drinks. I don’t do coffee.

17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
- cheese! LOTS of it I actually like pineapple too.

18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW WHAT WOULD IT BE?
- Salmon sushi/sashimi

19. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?
- Good question. Probably…My mum?

20. DO YOU SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE?
- Malay.

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU?
- Dontchno.

22. DO U LIKE SOMEONE?
- I like Haw. Very much. I like Johnny Depp too. And David Duchovny. But i like Haw the most.

23. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
- Made in China. What do you mean that’s not a real brand?

24. WHAT'S YOUR DREAM CAR?
- Mercedes convertible. Can’t remember the model for the life of me but it looks damn sexy.

25. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MARRIAGE?
- Sacred but these days, most people have no respect or appreciation for commitment.

26. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
- I did. And I have no regrets.

27. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
- Scale the mountains of Samunahara, battle the fire-breathing dragons of Ooga Booga and pluck the Golden Feather of the Kawanipuyana Bird. Or just tell the person.

28. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED :
- 74

29. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
- Brunettes. But I like golden retrievers.

30. WHO IS THE ONE PERSON YOU CALL OFTEN?
- These days? My sister.

33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU?
- Being told how to do my job by people who have no clue. Idiot drivers. Bad breath. Waiting. I could go on and on, people…

34. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
- Haw. Kittens & puppies. And Benito’s chocolate cupcake.

35. WHAT WAS THE LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED?
- a photo collage.

36. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
- yep.

39. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT?
- cutting and pasting it from Mia’s blog.

40. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT COULD IT BE?
- My nose.

42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
- My nose. Haha. Ok seriously…hmm…I look nice in pink?

43. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL AND CIGARETTES BECAME ILLEGAL?
- Deal with a lot of grumpy people.

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
- Haw (Do you see a pattern here?)

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
- Three! Ideally, a boy and a set of twins. Oh yes, I have it alllll planned out.

46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
-Melissa Gilbert, the actress from Little House on the Prairie back in the 70s.

47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
- I wish on whatever I can these days.

48. WHICH FINGER[S] IS YOUR FAVORITE?
- I don’t practice fingerism. I love my fingers, each and everyone, equally!

49. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?
- Last night.

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
- no.

51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAL?
- Depends la. I try to avoid rice cuz it makes me sleepy. Operative word here being ‘TRY’.

52. ANY BAD HABITS?
- scrunching up my nose and mouth for no reason. It’s really ugly. My mum hates it.

53. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF?
- I can’t recall, honest. Esp. in the age of MP3s.

54. YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOURSELF?
- Perhaps.

55. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL?
- Of course. Who hasn’t?

Beer Island

Back from Beer Island! Also known as Labuan. For those not in the know, Labuan is a Federal Territory just off the coast of KK and more importantly...DUTY FREE! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this was indeed my maiden trip to Labuan. Finally popped my Labuan cherry, heh heh. Went crazy buying chocolates and liquor (too bad for the 2-litre limit though...Actually, more like too bad i'm such a law-abiding citizen). My colleagues and I stayed at Mariner Hotel (where they get very protective of their hairdryers - apparently they only have one so get in line when requesting for it). Beers+good company+dozens of cheesy songs+a microphone can only spell one thing: KARAOKE bay-bee! Lagu wajib included Joan Jett's "I Hate Myself For Loving You" and "Copaaaaaa Copa Cabanaaaaa". But after several bottles of beer, I could even belt out an Eminem tune and Iziau Iziau Iziau (I knew i had some Kadazan left in me).

Our main purpose of the trip was to attend Remembrance Day on Nov 12. The ceremony is held at the Labuan War Memorial where British, Australian, Sikh, Malay and local servicemen who served and died in the Second World War in North Borneo are laid to rest. It's a beautiful memorial and the service was very poignant. They had three prayer services going on at once at different parts of the memorial - Hindu, Muslim and Christian - followed by a wreath-laying ceremony to pay tribute.

Apart from the service, we took the opportunity to spend the weekend visiting places of interest. Let's see...There was Surrender Point, where the Japanese basically said, "We give up, you win. Make love, not war. Arigato gozaimas. Let's have sushi." In a nutshell, this is where it all ended.

Pic of Mel and a huge rock (whaddaya mean which one's the huge rock?) It says, 'Peace is the best'. Hear hear. (actually chocolate cupcakes at Benito's are the best too....) We went to Kuraman Island . Slightly bumpy ride, but half an hour of sore butts and salty hair later, we got there. And it was very purdy. (I dunno why the sky is orange and the tree trunk looks grey...I think i got overzealous with Photoshop on this one)

Believe it or not, I did not bring any swimming/island gear for this trip - long story why. Anyway, once I got to Labuan I couldn't find a half-decent swimsuit on sale(it was between an overpriced two piece at Parkson or a Made in China wetsuit thingy that promised to ride up my ass every three minutes). So i settled for a bright pink touristy sun hat - thanks to the coaxing of my friends. I'm such a schmuck, I know. Striking, no?

Mushi mushi! The best Jap-tourist look i could muster. Almost there...

Back on land! Salty, sticky and really need to get the sand out of my pants.

We also visited the Labuan Bird Park. Ka-kaw, ka-kaw! Saw some really exotic birdies...

And an unidentified creature or two...

On our way out, look what i found! Really...I just could not resist.

And there you have it. The Adventures of Mel and Beer Island. I'm definitely gonna head back there for a weekend of swimming in Chivas and singing more Spice Girls numbers. Anyone game?

One day.

One day, I will look back on days like these and be able to smile.

One day, when I'm far, far away from this wretched place, I will be able to sit back and appreciate my hometown better.

One day, I will understand why patience is a virtue and all this waiting will be worthwhile.

One day, I won't have to say "I can't wait to leave this place" because I would have left already.

One day, I'm going to pack my bags, have my friends throw me a great farewell party and never look back.

One day, I'll have better things to look forward to.

One day, I won't feel guilty for spending RM20 on lunch.

One day, we'll finally be together and no one can take that away.

If only one day would come already.

Monkey see. Monkey do.

Bad blogger Mel is.

But i'm here now. Busy busy busy with 2 deadlines looming on top of everything else. But never too busy for....

ROCK CLIMBING! Saturday was spent hanging onto 20 feet (ya 20 only, didn't have time to do the 50 foot one) cliffs. This is me, gearing up. Me and 9 other death-defying colleagues (who also had nothing better to do on a Saturday morning) went rock climbing at Kg. Kironggu, Inanam. Some of us actually thought it would be one of those indoor-carpeted-air-conditioned rock climbing things. Sorry, wimps need not apply.

We're talking about REAL rocks. The ones where they don't put nice little thingies to grip onto. Safety is, of course, always paramount. This is me getting injured already....

...And this is BEFORE the climb. We had to take a short hike to the climbing area and I actually cut myself. Nice. Nothing major but I just wanted to add a dramatic element to my injury, hence the pic. Our instructor, Basil, gave a demonstration on how 'easy' it was. We were momentarily inspired and everyone figured, "Looks simple enough...". So, monkey see, monkey do.

I was the second batch to go (we climbed two by two) and I thought I'd take the shorter climb (the other one is 50 feet).

"Er, really Basil, do we have to do this?Can't i just imagine how high up it is from down here?"

Anyway, it may have been shorter but everyone later agreed it was tougher. So much for finding the easy way out...

Ok so far so good. Height: 2 feet off the ground. Heart rate: Normal.

Mind you I HATE heights. But here's the amazing thing. Once you're actually up there, clambering and trying to find something to hold on to, the last thing you think about is how far off the ground you are. All you want to do is go up...

OkI had more photos but again, blogger failed me. Anyway, long story short, my first attempt was not successful and I insisted on going the second time. I refused to be the only one who didn't make it to the top! So, push comes to shove, and with the help of my friends cheering me on, I keep climbing. I slip three times, slam against the rock once and I actually gave up again. But my colleagues, bless their souls, screamed at me that I had two more steps to go before I reached the top and it was such a bloody waste of energy to get that far and quit. I grit my teeth and could almost hear 'Eye of the Tiger' play in the background as I forced my jelly-legs to keep pushing my wilted body up. "One more step...one morrrrre...." I mumbled to myself. And finally... A LEDGE!!!! Everyone cheered and I collapsed against the rock in relief. And then I made the mistake of looking down.

Holy cow.

Scaling back down is much more fun. Basically, you sit back in your harness, spread your legs, keep 'em straight and 'walk' down. I think the biggest misconception about rock climbing is that you need to be physically tough. I am anything but that, mind you. The bigger challenge was telling myself that I could do it and find my way up without any help. Consider it a form of mental yoga. It takes a lot more brainwork than you think. And you'd be amazed at how stretchy your body can get when it needs to. Hmm.

Catch January's issue of the Sabah magazine for more details!

Anywhere but here.

I never thought it would happen but it finally has.

I go through my mornings like a zombie, staring at my computer screen, willing myself to write. To work. I take orders with a nod, a grunt and non-committal 'Ok'.

My in-tray is piling up and I watch the mountain of 'Urgent documents' grow before me. I mark my calendar with 'important' events when the only thing I find important right now is figuring which DVD to watch tonight and what time my Cubby will be online.

"Make this write-up interesting," the powers-that-be tell me. I hold my sigh and dutifully regurgitate previous ideas, changing a word or two here and there. The morons. They never even notice it.

Deadlines. I hate them. My life has become a circus of deadlines. Of deliveries. Of another page marked 'DONE' only to have another deadline shoved to my face.

If I have to write about another 'quaint district' or 'unique cultural experience', I'm gonna strangle myself with the damn telephone cord - which doesn't seem to stop ringing with demand after demand.

And don't even get me started with lunch time. One hour of my life where I have to decide what kind of carbohydrates to stick down my throat so that I can gain another five kilos to my already expanding frame. And to have people tell me, "You look fine...Just lose a few more kilos." Up yours.

Five pm rolls around and I run, nay, fly down the five flights of stairs, punch out my card like some factory worker and battle the scores of idiot drivers in KK just to get home. Lather, rinse, repeat.

I've lost the fire. The passion. Whatever you call it. I can't find the drive in this job anymore. I need to write from my heart. From my gut. Not from the recycle bin in the crevices of my withered brain.

Tell me there's more to life than this.