I was chatting online with one of my girlfriends yesterday. We mulled over our current predicament and 'relationship adventures'. Here's a modified transcript of that conversation (without giving away too much):
Her: ...so basically I wait?
Me: We're always waiting. Do you think it's worth the wait?
Her: I dunno.
Me: Sitting, waiting, wishing. Like Jack Johnson says.
Her: We're like professional waiters.
Professional waiters. It was so corny yet made complete sense. Looking back, observing the present and thinking of the future, I've officially turned into an official 'waiter'. Not in the 'bring me a glass of water' (in case you haven't caught that yet...). And why? Why do we subject ourselves into becoming diligent albeit foolish waiters? Is there a big, fat tip waiting at the end of the waiting? Will we be rewarded with doggy biscuits for our 'sit,stay,good girl' antics? Waiting and patience have only gotten me so far. So screw the waiting, I say. Many of us were brought up to believe that good things come to those who wait.
I'm 27, I've waited and to be honest with you, I'm getting a bit tired of waiting.
"But you're only 27..." so whine the Sages of Wisdom. Oh shut up. This is my blog and I'll complain if i want to. I'm not an ingrate. I have a roof over my head, a stable job, good (but questionable) health bla bla bla bla....Spare me the righteous bullshit because I already know what's good in my life.
See, I don't claim to be the nicest person in the world (cursing other drivers kinda rules that out) but I feel I deserve a fair deal for the nice things I HAVE done in my past relationships. Boring long story short: I wanna get what I give. I wanna reap what I sow. Get the pic? But I sow and sow and sow...And I still ain't reapin'. I mean, to be fair, I reap for a while lah. And then somehow my plantation gets 'infested' or something, and I don't get to enjoy the fruits of my labour anymore. Bummer.
But i digress. My point is, I must aspire to be more than a Professional Waiter. A friend of mine told me yesterday: Think like a child and you'll be happy. Children just enjoy the moment. They seldom think of the consequences or the what ifs. We adults think too much. Children see something they like and grab it. If they fall off the monkey bars, they cry, pick themselves up and climb again. So let's apply this to our adult life: Meet a man, he breaks your heart, you cry and then you find another guy to play with again. You have a great job, you get fired, your and then you find another job.
Hey, I get it now!
I guess it's good to live in the moment. No more five-year plans. All that matters is 'now'. You've left the past and you can't see the future. All you have to deal with is the present. My advice to my girlfriends: Have fun now. Screw the consequences. Don't plan the future. You are answerable to no one else but yourself so feel free to do whatever you want, regardless of societal expectations. Be selfish. No more waiting. Just do it (Nike schmikey, it gets the point across).
Ok, beyond the Deep-and-Meaningful-Life-Lesson blog for today, in other areas of my life:
1. Good news: I will be away from the office beginning May 27th till June 5th. Yay!
2. Bad news: It's for work. And I foresee dealing with difficult people.
3. Going drinking this weekend
4. Going to Kellybays in Tuaran for some crab-catching, kayaking, mangrove cruising, banana boat-riding and lunch.
5. Some shitty people in the office really pissed me off today and I've decided that they are a waste of space and time in this universe. May their genitals be infested by a thousand fleas, rot and fall off.
6. I'm feeling mean these days and for the first time in a long time...I don't feel bad about it at all. Maybe I AM changing for the better.
Have a great weekend and remember: If you are an idiot, please stay away from me and my friends.