And so I start my morning with barrage of questions. Today I tap into my whiny 5-year-old and ask whyyyyyyy...:
1. ...is my hair growing so slowly? Yes, I miss my long hair. At least my hair has reached a length where I can tie it up. But it does the most annoying flip in the mornings and I spend a good 15 minutes taming it. I thought short hair was supposed to be low-maintenance. I want my hair to grow quickly before I get restless and chop it off even shorter *puts down the scissors*
2. ...am I still in this job? Actually, I have a bunch of conflicting answers for this. First of all, I enjoy what I do BUT I dislike the way the office exploits its employees. I love my colleagues BUT I'm not too crazy about the 'bosses'. I like the atmosphere of my office BUT i hate how 'ghetto' my office area is (We're in Sinsuran, also known as Spitsville). Why am I still in this job? Because I still have bills to pay and nothing better has come along.
3. ...can't I get over the past? I try to look forward but I have an awful tendency to slip into the past. It's a bad habit. I'll be sitting down, painting my nails and a song comes on the radio and I'm back to 1999 all over again. And it's strange how you tend to forget the good more than the bad. Especially with matters of the heart. I've hurt some good people in my life and, in karmic return, I've been burned right back. For some strange reason, I keep playing this in my head like a broken record. And truth be told, I'm still harbouring a lot of resentment for some people. What would Jesus do? Not wallow in it for starters...
4. ...can't Lindsay Lohan just clean up her act? I'm sorry but this girl needs solitary confinement for a decade. I watch her on the screen and, although she's not exactly Kate Winslet, she's good lookin' and has some fine acting chops. Therefore, I'm a bit tired of hearing her messing up her life - with no one to blame but herself. This morning I heard that she's been attending some alcohol-management class but right after that, she heads to the nightclub. AND (oh yes there's an AND...) her driver manages to crash their vehicle into the front door of the club as they were leaving. Classy.
5. ...can't I lose these damn 5 kilos???? Two months ago I lost 3 kilos. This month I put 2 back on. I've been visiting the gym regularly, schedule futsal and squash in the week and STILL...those damn 5 kilos seem to be lingering around. I'm so stressed. I need some chocolate.
6. ...do people take me for granted? I'm a nice person. Really, I can be. I generally am. i'm apologetic to a fault and I hate rubbing anyone the wrong way. Which of course all spells 'doormat'. My employers, for example. I asked them the hypothetical question of "In the event I go for maternity leave...What happens to the magazine?" They cheekily implied that I just have to do 2 or 3 issues in advance. How ridiculous is that? I'm struggling writing and compiling the WHOLE magazine each month already and they want me to do 2 or 3 at once? Yeah as if while I'm in my final trimester of my pregnancy I'd be losing sleep doing overtime at the office. On a positive note, my immediate superior did say that there plans to find a part-time assistant for me in due time. We'll see...
7. ...do I procrastinate so much? Dunno la. I'll think about this later.
8. ...are men so infuriating? I don't hate men, I don't. I still need them to make babies, mow the lawn, carry my shopping bags...hahaha, joke bah, joke. But as much as women drive you men crazy, you guys are just another species altogether for us women. How can you shrug non-chalantly when we tell you how beautiful the miracle of birth is but cry when your football team loses? Our best friends divorce after 10 years of marriage and you think, "shit happens" but you mourn for a week when Nirvana disbands. Men.
9. ...can't I stop eating? I love food. Which kinda explains no.5. Duh.
Ok, enough whining for the day. Back to work.