Monday, January 19, 2009

Wake-up call.

Wake-up calls come in all shapes and sizes. Mine came in the form of a medical report.

It's been an unfortunate month to say the least, hence the silence. I lost my wallet (highly suspect that it was stolen while I was in the gym) and over the weekend, someone did a hit and run number on my car. And then the medical report.

Strangely, I feel alright. Mishap after mishap, I've taken it in stride and if anything, I realised over the weekend, I've been sweating over the small things too often. Suddenly, lost wallets and banged up cars seem so trivial. What if I've been whining about the silliest things the past year while my life was slowly slipping away?

I am afraid. But as someone said on Grey's Anatomy (ya, trust me to quote TV at times like these), fear is good because it means you still have something to lose. It means you WANT to live. I refuse to let my mind get carried away but you can't blame me for imagining the worst. And the waiting. It kills me.

I am afraid. Because my life hasn't even started and I've wasted so much time. So I am going to let this wake-up call change my life in more ways than one. Happiness and time are so fleeting. Last weekend I realised there is a fate worse than death...

And that is not living your life when you had the chance to.

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