Thursday, December 04, 2008

News that screams, "Melissa, get off your lazy ass and write already."

Don't know if you guys read the news recently but a 9-year old boy has just published a book on (I kid you not) "How To Talk To Girls."

Figures: It takes a 9-year-old to tell grown men how to behave around women. Pfft.

Colorado native Alec Greven's book started as a creative writing project which found its way to a school book fair where his 'pamphlet' became a surprise hit (selling at USD5 per copy no less!). Long story short, boy creates hoo-haa, HarperCollins goes "Golly gee whitakers, let's give this boy 46-pages and a hardcover and BAM! he's a full-fledged published writer!"

WTF. His advice includes, stop showing off, go easy on the compliments and be wary of pretty girls. "It is easy to spot pretty girls because they have big earrings, fancy dresses and all the jewellery," says chapter three of his book. He's just described Dennis Rodman but I'll let that slip.

"Pretty girls are like cars that need a lot of oil." - in a few years, he's about to find out just how important lubricant really is.

And he also says, "The best choice for most boys is a regular girl. Remember, some pretty girls are coldhearted when it comes to boys. Don't let them get to you."

Okay, A) What constitutes a regular girl? and B) Some ugly girls are coldhearted too (talk about a bad deal). Good thing he's 9 and whatever comes out of his mouth is still cute.

Still, here's a kid who has spent a measly 9 years on this planet and has probably never heard of Vanilla Ice (that might be a good thing, actually) nor can he imagine a world before handphones and e-mail...But say what you want about him: He's got a damn book under his belt. That's one hell of a feather in his baseball cap.

No comments: