Sunday, June 24, 2007

The Golden Rule

When it comes to relationships, I have a few Golden Rules. One of them was 'Thou shalt not bother with a long-distance relationship'. I was so set on this Rule that I scoffed at the fools who were in such a predicament. I'd go, "Why even bother having a relationship if you're not gonna be in the same place at the same time? Hello...Beats the whole idea of having a companion right?"

And then I got knocked off my high horse faster than you can say, "Send me a postcard, honey."

I didn't realise at that time that all the Golden Rules usually fly out the window the minute you meet Mr-Perfect-For-You. I wasn't sure how things would work out with Haw when we started dating. For the first time in my life, I wasn't planning ahead and instead just enjoying the moment with a guy. And when I found out he was leaving for Canada for a year, I didn't think too much about it because I figured I'll deal with it when the time comes. Besides, I was still set with my Golden Rule, right? Long distance relationship? Pfft, right.

To be fair, Haw wasn't too keen on a long-distance thing neither. He wasn't sure if he wanted to come back after a year and then things would just get messy. So here were two brilliant individuals, both keen on the no-go when it comes to long distance. But as the day for him to leave approached, we went into panic mode. How in the world do you end something that's been going great so far and move to the other end of the world? Do we shake hands and go, "That was fun, thanks buddy" ?
Yeah, this is the part where I fell off my high horse and the Golden Rule went flying out the window.

So here I am. In a long-distance relationship. And I tell ya, it's tough. From having Haw with me for the last 3 years, an average of 6 days a week, 9 hours a day to going cold turkey, it's like losing an arm. But we've adjusted pretty well and getting into the swing of the whole 'in absentia' relationship. It's been 10 months since he left and although it gets easier, I never stop missing him (which of course is a good thing cuz if I did, this whole relationship would be pointless right? anyway...). These days, my idea of a great time is sitting in bed with the laptop, webcam and headset and waiting to see 'Hawding is online' on my messenger. Of course, the 12-hour time difference is annoying but we've gotten really good at setting our schedules to talk. We make it a point to be in touch everyday, be it SMS, a phonecall or by just leaving a note on the messenger.

Most days, it's all good. And whenever we talk, I always feel like he's not that far away. But some days, it hits me really hard. Sometimes when I least expect it. I could be driving past one of the coffee shops we frequent and my heart breaks a little cuz I miss him so much. Weekend afternoons are the worst because that's when we used to spend time together, watching DVDs or him trying to steer me away from Watson's ("I promise I'm just looking, baby...")

I'm not gonna lie to you. Long distance relationships are no walk in the park. But on the bright side, it makes you realise how empty your life can be without your partner by your side and when you finally get back together, you'll be less likely to take him or her for granted. I was worried that we might grow apart over the months but ironically, we've never been closer. I hate being in different time zones and I have to settle for virtual hugs and kisses for now. But I realise that when you find the one person you're willing to break the Golden Rule for, it makes it all worthwhile.

Come back quick, cubby.

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