Children=Scary

Last night, I confirmed that children are on the top of my 'Scary' list together with roaches, serial killers and the sight of Rob Thomas trying to dance. (warning: Spoilers ahead.)

I watched 'The Omen' on the day it opened (June 6 of course). I wanted to post a few photos of the the kid who plays Damien (Seamus something-something) but blogger is still being an ass about it so let me just explain by saying the kid is C.R.E.E.P.Y.

But seriously, you didn't expect the Antichrist to have curly blond hair and bounce to Barney songs, did you? If you watched the original, you'll know the details. The remake didn't run away much from the original plot, except that it's set in 2006 (06.06.06. Duh). Mommy is Julia Stiles (in her first mummy role, if I'm not mistaken) and she's not half bad. When she starts fearing her son, you actually feel like reaching into the screen and shaking her husband to his senses, "LISTEN TO HER YOU DUMBASS!" Few gory scenes - my favourite being the one where the priest dies with a spear right through his heart and shards of glass decorating him like candles on a cake. Creative.

Should I give the plot away? Ok, like this lah: I won't give it COMPLETELY away but I will advise you to remember that the original Omen movie was followed by Omen Part 2,3 and 4. When people left the cinema last night whining about a bad ending, I wanted to yell, "But there's MORE! Just you wait!"

Of course, I didn't for fear of looking deranged.

Not as scary as I would've liked it to be (coming from me, that's ironic) and there were few jump-out-of-your-seat scenes. I must give an honourable mention to Mia Farrow for playing the creepiest nanny in the history of film. No wait...In the history of time would be more befitting. (She looks young for her age though...Does anyone know if she's done surgery?). If anything, the movie has a few lessons:

1. If a suspicious looking priest keeps showing up reciting biblical poems and saying, "You and I will die!", please take him seriously.

2. Rottweilers are synonymous with the devil. But i still think they're cute.

3. If you have travelled from London to the Vatican to the farthest regions of Jerusalem and back to London, lost a traveling companion, stared death in its eyes and have TWO Rottweilers (yes they keep showing up) try to chew your arm off...PLEASE believe that all this hard work and bad luck must mean your son is indeed the Antichrist.

4. Learn Italian (it sounds sexy)

5. Marry a diplomat - you get to travel.

6.Don't ever switch babies in the hospital.

7. Don't ever switch babies in the hospital and lie to your wife about it. You're talking about a species that can differentiate low-fat milk from superfat milk just by scent.

8. If you live in a house nearly four storeys high, you might wanna think twice before climbing on the highest railing to water your plants.

9. Nannies without proper portfolios work for the devil.

10. 666 is the sign of the devil. Not 999 - that's the ambulance emergency line.

Which reminds me, another thing that annoyed me during the movie was a bunch of girls sitting behind my seat:

(scene shows father trying to search for the 666 sign on Damien's scalp)
Girl 1: Nah...see...got number on his kepala!
Girl 2: 69! It's a 69! He's the Antichrist!
Girl 3: eh...not 69 la. 66.
Girl 1: 69 bah...See properly.
Girl 3: No! 66!
Girl 2: Wrong la. It's 999.

Apparently, Damien is either the God Of Porn or Ambulance Line Spawn.

The verdict: Watch it because it's a classic but it's not exactly going to win any Oscars.