Men lie. I didn’t need an article to tell me that. Women lie too but men…They lie with finesse. There are good lies and bad lies. Lies you tell to keep the peace but it backfires if the other person finds out you were lying. Welcome to a place we call ‘between a rock and a hard place’.
I came across this article this morning and I was just compelled to share with. The Top 10 Lies Happy Husbands Tell. So what is it trying to say: That these husbands stay happy thanks to the lying? Ok, let’s not go there. Husbands/boyfriends/male species will inevitably lie. It bugs the hell out of me because it makes me realise there isn’t a single honest man out there. But this article (I hate to say this) had some pretty good points. Here’s an excerpt:
"Sure, honey, that dress looks fine."
Why he tells it: Hassle avoidance
Men employ these "forgivable fibs" not just to avoid hurting you ("Of course you don't look fat in that outfit") but to make their lives easier ("I think that wallpaper looks great") and to steer clear of trouble ("I guess Cindy Crawford's 'sexy' in a conventional kind of way, but she's not my cup of tea").
"I was not looking at her boobs."
Why he tells it: To achieve a delicate balance between marital harmony and 4 million years of biological conditioning
No matter how long you've been together, I guarantee your man hasn't stopped being attracted to other women. You can't promise to stop liking chocolate -- only to stop eating it. When a good-looking woman walks by, he notices. If her skirt is momentarily caught in a crosswind, even a legally blind man will get whiplash.
Guys are responding to millions of years of biological conditioning. Why bother lying? Because it's obvious our looking bothers you. "This is what I call a 'blessed lie,'" says Kovacs. "Men are given more license to acknowledge a wandering eye, but at the same time, we have to always treat our woman as if she's the only thing in our field of vision."
Okay, I admit this one bothered me. I UNDERSTAND the logic but I don’t like it. And I personally know of guys who aren’t bothered that their looking at other women (in front of their significant others mind you) bothers their girlfriends. What kind of jackass attitude is that? Check out other women, by all means, but have the decency to do it behind our backs at least. It’s disrespectful and rude.
"My old girlfriend? She was just okay."
Why he tells it: Self-preservation
What details from your past become common property when you marry? A man is duty-bound (and legally bound, usually) to tell his wife if he's ever contracted a sexually transmitted disease or fathered any tykes. Beyond that, it gets hazy fast. Does his wife have a right to know how many women he's slept with? Or how good it was? When privacy-minded guys are faced with probing questions, you can guess what happens.
"My wife asked me if I'd ever cheated on a girlfriend," says Bob, 32. "I did, once, but it was an isolated thing. I'd never do it again. But women think 'once a cheater, always a cheater,' so I told her no. I hated lying, but I felt like what she was really asking was, 'Would you ever cheat on me?' And that question I answered truthfully."
Read the whole article here.
Although it gave me better insight, the article strengthened my conviction that all (ok 99.9 percent of) men are liars. Big, fat ones. And for our sanity, best to feign ignorance and carry on with our lives. Yeah it’s great they want to keep the peace but the fact remains:
1. Your man will look at other women.
2. One day, you will leave the house looking hideous because your husband wanted to ‘keep the peace’ by saying “You look lovely.”
3. You’ll never really know the whole truth.
So girls, you don’t REALLY have to tell him the truth neither. Most women are smarter because they don't tell lies at all. They just don't tell.
What you don't know can't hurt you, right?
“yo i'm lying to my girl
even though i love her
and she all in my world
i give her all my attention
and diamonds and pearls
she the one who makes me feel
on top of the world
still I’m lying to my girl i do it
and i lie and i lie and i lie and then i lie
till there’s no turning back.”
-Black Eyed Peas, Don’t Lie.