Hallo, hallo...?

First of all, I must apologise if you are one of the many people I've been accidentally calling. I tend to forget locking my keypad, which results in me making unintentional phone calls to random people on my phonebook. It's either I'm sitting on my phone or there are tiny toyols diailing my digits in my handbag. (eee creepy).

Anyway, I'm considering getting a new phone - something that either autolocks or is designed in such a way that I can't accidentally call anyone ie. slide or flip. So here are my finalists:

The very snazzy N97:


or the sleek Nokia 6600 (freakin' A, it also comes in pink! This is what I call fate):

Yes, I am a Nokia girl. Don't even bother introducing Sony Ericssons or LGs to me. I cannot be arsed to learn a whole new 'language' when it comes to my lifeline. I am not a super-gadgety person. I think blenders are complicated, enough said. So when it comes to choosing handphones, I have three main concerns:

1. SMS friendly, as in the keypad isn't a bitch to use.

2. External memory - I get nervous when the salesperson says, "Oh but this one no external memory ah...Everything in the phone wan....".

3. Looks good when I wave it around.

Told you I'm simple. Cameras aren't necesarry but it's a cool add-on. Budget-wise, I'm looking for below RM2k. I have to give up my Blackberry in less than a month and I never thought I'd say this but I'm gonna sort of miss it. I've been so dependent with having my e-mails at my fingertips and communicating with people via BB messenger. I might actually keep my Blackberry but will upgrade it to a BB Bold. My brothers have the BB Storm and I have to say...None of us are impressed with how complicated it is. Plus, I've never been fond of touch-screens - All those fingerprints irritate me.

So time to go phone-hunting. No rush though...I'm giving myself till end of September to get one as I'm saving my moolah for my Manila holiday :)

Oh wow I almost forgot I'm going on a holiday!

Over the past. In the now.

"Sometimes the things you want are not exactly the things you need and the things you don't want in life is exactly what you need."

A year ago, I posted this on my blog. When I look back to where I was a year ago, I amaze myself. It's been an emotional struggle to say the least. Plenty of drunken nights. Too much crying. An overdose of drama. I was Eeyore personified. Ugh. I hated myself. And I know so many of my friends hated that Mel too.

But here I am, a year later. It hasn't been easy but it's been eye-opening. I've gained weight but I've lost that chip on my shoulder that used to verify my sense of worthlessness everyday. Life isn't perfect right now - It's never going to be, i'm not that jaded, please. But it's better. And I'll take 'better' over 'crap' any day. Plus, where's the fun in having a 'perfect' life? Nothing to struggle or fight for. That's like...Life for Wimps.

So with the grace of God, lots of perserverance and a little help from my family and friends, here I am. When I stoppped 'wanting' things to go a certain way, everything I needed fell in my lap.

If you like it then you better put a ring on it...

...And he did!
This is the best pic of us that I could find from our engagement. My brother gave us matching pendants. I really should get a better camera.

*Mel, focus*

My rock rocks! So yes ladies and gents, another one bites the dust :)

31 Reasons to love you 24/7

31 Reasons.

1. Because he makes me laugh till my sides ache.

2.Because he appreciates the funny voices I make.

3.Because I appreciate the funny voices HE makes.

4.Because of his dogged determination in all he does.

5.Because men with ambition are sexy.

6.Because with him, there's always a way.

7. Because I'm useless with cars, wires and anything that needs fixing.

8. Because I'm willing to 'potong pokok' with him under the pouring rain.

9.Because we both love Will Ferrell.

10.Because he's so damn patient even when he really shouldn't be.

11. Because I can't stay mad at him for long.

12. Because he reminds me to drink more water and eat my vegetables.

13.Because he'll watch Friends reruns with me.

14.Because he understands when I need to be on my own and I understand when he needs to hang with the boys.

15. Because he knows I can be unreasonably jealous.

16. Because even when he's jealous, he's still a gentleman.

17. Because he continues to surprise me.

18. Because he loves my cats.

19. Because my cats love him.

20. Because I feel safe with him.

21. Because he's so good at picking out clothes for me.

22. Because he pushes me to get off my lazy ass and try new things.

23. Because he taught me how to play the drums.

24. Because he knows I hate the cold and will make sure I'm always warm.

25. Because he doesn't believe in RM300 shirts that look RM69.90

26. Because he has no idea how cute he is when his eyes light up when watching Indiana Jones/Back To The Future for the 500th time

27. Because he layans my whims and fancies, even if it involves Roti Kahwin at Damai during peak traffic time.

28. Because I would do exactly the same for him in a heartbeat.

29. Because musicians and artists are sexy!

30. Because he reminds me it's about us and no one else.

31. Because I couldn't ask for more.

Happy birthday, babe.

Love,

Weight a minute.

I have been on the hunt for a dress. I'm running out of time and patience. And today, lo and behold, I found THE dress. And I loved every inch of it. Every seam, every stitch, every ruffle. But of course...They didn't have my size. The one I tried was just a wee bit too tight and I don't know about you guys but I like to breathe in my clothes. Oh but how I absolutely LOVE the dress!

At this point, I am just exhausted. I cannot bear the thought of trying on any more dresses. Why is everything else out there made for people half my size? And the dresses that look good on the rack hang lifeless on me. I have the weirdest body: I am top heavy, with slender arms, stumpy legs, a bulging stomach, broad shoulders and a short torso. It is an absolute nightmare to buy dresses for me. The safest bet are babydoll dresses but I'm really tired of the 'Pregnant' look.

So i keep trying dresses although my mind is set on Dream Dress Which Doesn't Come In My Size (for the record, they even checked another store who, of course, didn't have my size neither). Dress after dress. I find another beautiful, long number which covers my stumpy sausage legs BUT thanks to my short torso, it bunches up at the back. I find a gorgeous orange off-shoulder blouse which goes well with an A-line skirt I pick up but once I put it on...I look like a pumpkin standing on a cone. It looked good in my head though.

So four days and three hours later, I am still dress-less. Which leads me to the angry thought: If only I was thinner. I just can't seem to lose those five kilos which would've solved all my dress-shopping woes. Seriously, if I was less fat, I would've found a dress by now! I've always had issues with my body and now it's biting me in the ass as if to say, "Hah, told you to lose weight!"

I didn't get my dress and I'm starting to give up. I might just dig up something safe from my closet. I don't deserve a new dress anyway - I'm so lousy at trying to lose weight. However, in my quest for a dress, I did come across something else. Slimming supplements! A friend told me how it worked for her and I've decided to get a bottle and see how it goes. Spare me the lecture on 'watching my food' and 'exercising' because I've been doing that and it's not working as fast as I'd like it to. So hopefully these supplements will speed things up and I won't dread buying clothes as much anymore!Wish me luck.

In the now.

I want to count my blessings.

Because it takes devastating news to shake us out of our zombie reverie as we trudge through life. So today, I want to count my blessings and live in the now.

Someone I work with has been diagnosed with leukemia and honestly, I am still in denial. Because I refuse to accept that his life is now on a timer and everyone is just waiting for the buzzer to go off. I walk by his room and imagine that he will be back tomorrow, smiling and telling us it was just the flu.

While everyone sheds tears and comes to grip with his diagnosis, I find myself almost not reacting. Not because I don't care. Not because I am emotionless (boy oh boy, if anything I'm too emo). Because in my own bubble, I believe that if I don't acknowledge the truth, it remains untrue. So I go on with my day, refusing to visit him in the hospital, ignoring talk of "poor him poor him" because I so badly want to believe he is coming back and the doctors made a mistake.

I'm the Queen of wishful thinking.

But as the days pass and the news sinks in a little bit more, it puts everything I do on a daily basis in perspective. You know those scenes in a movie where the camera zooms out on everything around you and zooms in on your face, like a moment of realization? That's how I feel. I watch as my bosses continue yakking about which wine to serve during the next big dinner event. I listen as someone gets worked up about not getting the alignment right on his typed document. And, in comparison with someone doesn't know how many tomorrows are left, it all seems so...trivial. I do understand that life must go on. Bills must be paid, children fed and deadlines met. But why do we put so much blood, sweat and tears on the tiny details in life? Why can't we have the same zest for things that matter?

Because we take those things for granted. Right until someone tells us we don't have much time life.

Don't postpone that trip you've been saving up for because it's just 'too much hassle' to plan right. Don't tell your husband you'll have that long-awaited dinner for two next week because this week you're just too tired. Don't save those RM500 stilletos for a special occassion - tonight might be that special occassion! Don't wait to tell someone their friendship is better than chocolate if you can tell them today. Most of all, don't wait to make yourself happy today - in whatever form it may come.

Today, I want to count my blessings. I'm not going to wait till it's too late.