Sleep won't come.

It's become chronic. This sleep deprivation/insomnia of mine. I'm not even sure if you can call it insomnia. See, I fall asleep relatively easy but throughout the night, it's as if I'm 'awake'. I can FEEL myself sleeping, if that makes any sense. My brain is actively telling me, "Ok you're sleeping. Sleeeeping, sleeeeeeping..."

And it's driving me crazy.

I wake up feeling as if I never went to sleep and yet, I operate alright throughout the day. It has become so constant that I dread my nights. As the sun goes down, I worry about the same thing, "Am I going to sleep tonight?" I do get tired come evening, and I can fall asleep as my head hits the pillow. But within an hour or two, I'm awake again and telling myself I need to sleep.

I've tried every remedy there is in the book. From lavender oil to drinking myself drunk (haha it works but the hangover isn't worth it). Last month, I started popping sleeping pills and true enough, they didn't just help me sleep - They knocked the wind out of me. But after two weeks of the happy pills, the effectiveness started to wear off so I stopped taking them. Plus, I noticed an unpleasant side effect which resulted in me feeling drowsy during the day. Just can't seem to win.

So what do I do? I'm not sleeping and haven't been for two months now. If anyone has anymore suggestions, I'd really appreciate it. I miss my sleep.

You don't send me flowers anymore.

I thought of Valentine's day and that song just popped into my head. First of all, I still believe flowers are ridiculously overpriced on Valentine's Day and I would much rather have my date spend that kind of money on something else. At least Manolo Blahniks won't wilt after two days.

So this year, I actually HAVE a date. And as adamant as I am not to give into the hoopla of Valentine's Day, Date Man made a good point saying we didn't get to spend the last one together (thanks to the giant sea that parted us) and although we both agree it's senseless to spend insane amounts of money on one night of commercialism, it would be nice to mark it meaningfully. So we're gonna stand outside expensive restaurants and laugh at all the suckers.

Kidding.

We're actually going to have a nice, quiet dinner somewhere inexpensive yet meaningful (no, not McDonalds ok) and then...spend time together I guess. Which is what V-day is all about. Remembering your loved ones and appreciating them. And I'm not just talking about your boyfriends and girlfriends. Friends and family deserve to be reminded of how 'sayang-ed' they are as well. Last year, I cooked dinner for my parents and brother and we turned to have one of the most memorable V-days.

I have to be honest - I'm stumped when it comes to Valentine gift ideas. Everything else sounds unoriginal: jewelry, a nice shirt, techno gadgets etc. My brother said it would be more meaningful to 'make' something. Yeah I can see it now, "Here you go honey. A sock puppet, complete with sequins." I managed to buy a V-day card though, which was a gagging experience. After going through ten greeting cards, I was ready to poke my eye if I read another line that had the words, 'forever', 'true love' or 'the one for me' in it. I found one that suited my taste - and his lah of course - that didn't promise the moon, stars and all that crapola. Why can't cards just read, "You're fun. I dunno if i'll marry you but going to the movies with you this weekend sounds great."

Pardon the cynicism. This from the girl who admittedly cried watching The Notebook, hah. In the spirit of St. Valentine, may the love be with you on this Hallmark-y day. It's not about how many roses or carats you receive...

... it's making sure the BMW he bought you matches your dress.

Har har. Just have a good one and I cannot stress this enough: Roses should not cost more than a KFC Bucket Meal.

Year of the Drat

This is getting ridiculous. I spent Christmas with a fever and the flu, which turned into a hacking cough come New Year. Last week, I suddenly had tonsilitis and today...

I woke up and sprained my neck.

Yes, you read that right. All I did was raise my head from my pillow to check the clock on the wall when I heard a loud and sickening 'crack'. I paused. I could still turn my head left. But when I tried to turn right...Holy mother of pain... Anyway, I freaked out because I couldn't turn my head down or up neither. AND I couldn't get out of bed because somehow whenever I move my left arm, the muscle in my shoulder would cramp up (I don't know the technicalities of the human body so don't ask why). So I wailed like a baby, calling for my mom. I managed to 'roll' out of bed and once I stopped freaking out, I realised it wasn't painful if I stopped moving my head so much.

Long story short, I am now on painkillers, muscle relaxants and migraine pills - somehow the muscle pull triggered migraine attacks, go figure. The migraines are gone (which is why I'm in front of the computer) but I still can't swivel my head around. On a positive note, I have fantastic posture right now as a result of sitting up straight all day because slouching hurts my neck even more.

So if you see me on the street for the next few days, please don't try to be funny and go, "LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!" Because I will eventually get better and hunt you down.

What is it with me these days? I'm having a string of bad luck when it comes to my health. Even when I'm lying in bed I can find a way to injure myself. In retrospective, it IS kinda funny. I just hope the Year of the Rat doesn't have anymore mishaps in store for me.

Ok pill-popping time.