Friday, February 22, 2008

Sleep won't come.

It's become chronic. This sleep deprivation/insomnia of mine. I'm not even sure if you can call it insomnia. See, I fall asleep relatively easy but throughout the night, it's as if I'm 'awake'. I can FEEL myself sleeping, if that makes any sense. My brain is actively telling me, "Ok you're sleeping. Sleeeeping, sleeeeeeping..."

And it's driving me crazy.

I wake up feeling as if I never went to sleep and yet, I operate alright throughout the day. It has become so constant that I dread my nights. As the sun goes down, I worry about the same thing, "Am I going to sleep tonight?" I do get tired come evening, and I can fall asleep as my head hits the pillow. But within an hour or two, I'm awake again and telling myself I need to sleep.

I've tried every remedy there is in the book. From lavender oil to drinking myself drunk (haha it works but the hangover isn't worth it). Last month, I started popping sleeping pills and true enough, they didn't just help me sleep - They knocked the wind out of me. But after two weeks of the happy pills, the effectiveness started to wear off so I stopped taking them. Plus, I noticed an unpleasant side effect which resulted in me feeling drowsy during the day. Just can't seem to win.

So what do I do? I'm not sleeping and haven't been for two months now. If anyone has anymore suggestions, I'd really appreciate it. I miss my sleep.

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