Raves.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying my newfound 'free time'. As my work hours are determined by yours truly (factors include non-conducive weather and just not feeling like it), I've been spending my time doing things I actually ENJOY - something I might have taken for granted over the last few years. And I've discovered it doesn't always have to involve a bar, heh.

I've been absolutely obsessed with playing...online games. Ok, it's probably a phase but it's amazing how diner dashing or building cities can kill time. I think I finally realized I needed a break when my eyes wouldn’t blink anymore and my right arm had a shooting pain flowing through it. Upon which I finally picked up my neglected books again. I was moved by Dr. Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture and after six million years I’ve finally completed James Patterson’s ‘The Quickie’ - not that it’s bad reading, simply a case of putting it down and never picking it up again. But this time, not only did I pick it up but I could not put it down. I lugged the book with me in the car, in the dim sum restaurant and while waiting for my nails to dry. I love Patterson’s stuff (Kiss The Girls anyone? As always, the movie didn’t do it justice, even with Morgan Freeman in it) and The Quickie will not disappoint. In fact, it got so gripping that I cheated and peeked at the end (hey, if the ending was bad, it wouldn’t be worth the hassle).I also finished a classic by Tehmina Durani, My Feudal Lord – it tells of her life story and struggles as a strong-willed woman married to a conservative Pakistani politician (that also translates to ‘sexist pig’). Intense.

And now on to this:

Coelho of course. If I had a splinter of his writing charm, I’d be blessed beyond belief. I don’t know how he does it but when he writes, you really feel as if he’s talking to you and only you. Intense.

To break the ‘intensity’ of the literary world, I turn to the idiot box. Yep, television at its best. More like…downloaded stuff. I sat through season four of Grey’s Anatomy and lost myself in boxes of Kleenex. I don’t understand why the producers have an undying need to make you sob through each episode. WHAT KIND OF PERVERSION IS THIS??? It’s a hospital, people die everyday, I get it. But first they make you bond with the character and then when you least expect it …BAM!...they die.

God, it’s good TV.

On a less depressing note, I turn to the latest season of The Big Bang Theory (oh praise the great powers for BitTorrent!). I’ve downloaded it in my iPod and my cardio workouts have become so effortless ever since. One episode and whaddaya know, 20 minutes of the stairmaster gone! I’ve been a loyal follower of the show since Dillon introduced it to me in Langkawi earlier this year. They’re on to Season 3 in the US and I’m looking for the boxed set of Season 2 (Christmas gift, hint hint, lalalala). Being the geek I am, yes I already have the boxed set of Season 1. There’s just something hot about 4 nerds and their comic books. Hmm.

Tuesday beckons. Got some contracts to proofread and I'm done for the day. Smell you later.

Overheard.

Two girls, over drinks.

Friend 1: ....And he was there, that asshole who was a complete waste of your time.

Friend 2: Omg.

Friend 1: Yep. And he's gotten so fat and ugly.

Friend 2: *laughs* That's good to hear.

Friend 1: I moved to another table.

Friend 2: Why did you move?

Friend 1: Because I hate his guts.


I smiled. Because that's exactly what friendship should sound like.

Scabs and scars

Forgiving and forgetting is like carpooling - we all know its good for the environment but no one really does it.

I don't claim to be an expert on the area but I've had my share of moments. And I'm really good at the 'one step forward, two steps back' tango - Just when I think it's out of my system, there it is, smack dab in the middle of my system.

It has taken years and one pack of cigarettes too many for me to forgive, let alone forget. I've done it all: journals, ranting even church camps (yes oh yes). I may not have learned to completely let go but I have definitely learned that sometimes all this resentment and bitterness can be all-consuming - mind, body and spirit. And as I enter my tantalising 30s (hey, it beats the 20s any day!), I'm just too excited about the future to give a rat's ass about the past. Why channel your energy on what could have been when you can use it on what's going to be?

So I haven't completely forgiven nor forgotten you. But what matters most is I am wise enough to realise what a complete waste of time and emotional energy grudge-bearing can be. And here's another lightbulb moment to share: Don't burn bridges but you are not obliged to maintain the repair works. You can't lose a friend if he/she was never one worth keeping in the first place.

Just sit back and let that old wound turn into a scar. You'll never even notice it there.