Nothin' left.

I'm not a big fan of hers but this song has been stuck in my head the last few days. Don't you have days where you feel you're completely drained? I dedicate this song to moments when I feel there's nothing left to give.

I Got Nothin' Left
Celine Dion

Anybody ever tell you that you're not whole
A hollow shell of man without a soul
Never ever felt your warmth cause you're always cold
Only thing that makes sense is letting go

Anybody ever tell you that you've got nerve
Treatin' my love like just another word
Tired of giving love to you that you don't deserve
So this is one way of saying it's over

Cause I got nothing left
I got nothing left
I got nothing left
I gave you my best
And you treated it worth less
So I got nothing left

Anybody ever tell you that you're gonna learn
Trust and respect are two things you must earn
When it came to lovin' me you just weren't concerned
You never gave a damn so I guess now it's my turn

Cause I got nothing left
I got nothing left
I got nothing left
I gave you my best
And you treated it worth less
So I got nothing left

So done with you
Maybe we're through
So done with you
Cause I got nothing left
I got nothing left
I got nothing left
I got nothing left
I got nothing left
I gave you my best
And you treated it worth less
So I got nothing left
So done with you

So done with you

Week of Sorts

I have this look on my face lately so before you come up to me and ask "what's wrong?", let me save you the trouble and just say it's been a week of sorts.

First of all, my allergies have been keeping me awake most nights. The swollen eyes and red nose look doesn't really suit me well. I spent Thursday snoozing away till 6:00pm, waking up only to eat a cupcake for lunch and going back to bed till dinner time. And by 10:00pm, I was ready to hit the sack again. Hibernation anyone? I went to church on Good Friday and Easter Sunday like the good girl I aspire to be. I say 'aspire' because I went drinking after mass.Ah well, the thought that counts.

In other aspects of my existence, work is keeping me busy enough to forget about my allergies for most of the day. We're busy organising the Sabah Fest and if I have to write another letter that begins with "Tuan...Dengan segala hormatnya perkara diatas dirujuk", I will poke my eye with a fork. And every week, it's been meeting after meeting after meeting followed by trips to Tambunan and Ranau to meet with villagers and dancers who will be performing for the Sabah Fest. And when I get back, there are reports to do and more meetings to organise. I mean, seriously, sitting around in a conference room 'discussing' for three hours is hardly productive if you ask me. The show is just about a month away. Hustle people!

And on a personal note...I'm just emotionally tired. Too much unnecessary drama - some of it not even mine. But it's not all bad. On one hand, you have the Happies: The people getting married, having babies and moving on to good things in their lives. And then you have the Unhappies: people breaking up, stories of unrequited love and opening old wounds. Don't you hate it when the buried past doesn't stay unburied? Put all these dramas into a blender and you've got yourself a tall glass of Teh O Ais Emo.

Well-meaning people have told me not to think so much. It's not like I wake up each morning and go, "Hmm, what shall I burden my thoughts with today?" Pardon me if I cannot find the joy in the sound of the first bloody bluebird on a lovely spring day right now. I find more comfort in popping my antihistamines and curling up in bed while the rain pounds on my roof.
Life is good, even if in small doses.

Impossible Love

Sellie showed me this artwork yesterday and I've been mesmerised since. I dunno why but I absolutely love it. It's called 'Impossible Love', by Selina Fenech.

Must-see Mist

Every now and then, a movie comes along unexpectedly and blows your mind away. Stephen King's 'The Mist' is actually a 2007 production but, as in most cases, it's hitting our screens only now. So sad. I went to watch The Mist with little -if no- expectations. In fact, I was prepared for a B-grade flick which would amuse me for the next 2 hours or so.

Long story short without giving away the movie, yes the movie has creepy crawlies and "oh crap it's coming after me!" moments but the scariest element of the movie is the characters themselves. At first glance, the movie promises a scare-fest but what will blow you away are the layers of issues the story presents. You realise how fragile and complex the human spirit is and at the end of the day...We're just a bunch of animals who've learned to use to the computer and drive a car.

And the ending? Well, it's something you'll have to experience for yourself.