I have this look on my face lately so before you come up to me and ask "what's wrong?", let me save you the trouble and just say it's been a week of sorts.
First of all, my allergies have been keeping me awake most nights. The swollen eyes and red nose look doesn't really suit me well. I spent Thursday snoozing away till 6:00pm, waking up only to eat a cupcake for lunch and going back to bed till dinner time. And by 10:00pm, I was ready to hit the sack again. Hibernation anyone? I went to church on Good Friday and Easter Sunday like the good girl I aspire to be. I say 'aspire' because I went drinking after mass.Ah well, the thought that counts.
In other aspects of my existence, work is keeping me busy enough to forget about my allergies for most of the day. We're busy organising the Sabah Fest and if I have to write another letter that begins with "Tuan...Dengan segala hormatnya perkara diatas dirujuk", I will poke my eye with a fork. And every week, it's been meeting after meeting after meeting followed by trips to Tambunan and Ranau to meet with villagers and dancers who will be performing for the Sabah Fest. And when I get back, there are reports to do and more meetings to organise. I mean, seriously, sitting around in a conference room 'discussing' for three hours is hardly productive if you ask me. The show is just about a month away. Hustle people!
And on a personal note...I'm just emotionally tired. Too much unnecessary drama - some of it not even mine. But it's not all bad. On one hand, you have the Happies: The people getting married, having babies and moving on to good things in their lives. And then you have the Unhappies: people breaking up, stories of unrequited love and opening old wounds. Don't you hate it when the buried past doesn't stay unburied? Put all these dramas into a blender and you've got yourself a tall glass of Teh O Ais Emo.
Well-meaning people have told me not to think so much. It's not like I wake up each morning and go, "Hmm, what shall I burden my thoughts with today?" Pardon me if I cannot find the joy in the sound of the first bloody bluebird on a lovely spring day right now. I find more comfort in popping my antihistamines and curling up in bed while the rain pounds on my roof.
Life is good, even if in small doses.