Thursday, April 14, 2011

The Marrieds

Everytime I tell myself to let go of this one, it haunts me like a bad Britney song. Just to recap, some of you might have heard my ranting about a certain family member who has officially stopped hanging out with me on the basis that I've gotten married. I said this before and I'll say it again:

what the hell is his problem.

Way back when, the two of us used to hang out quite regularly each time he came back for a visit from KL. And I admit, i enjoyed his company and we always had a good time. Two years ago when news of my engagement got to him, his exact words were, "What's this I hear about you getting engaged?" 'Congratulations, I'm so happy for you' didn't make an appearance throughout this conversation, mind you.

Long story short, he was actually disappointed I had decided to settle down. He thought I was someone who 'would go places, do big things' but instead I was choosing to 'get married'. And, oh my lord, how this bugged me to no end. Was I LESS of an interesting person because I had met someone I wanted to share a life with?

I tried my best to not let it get to me. But a few months ago, when I realised i hadn't heard from him for a while since my wedding, I texted him to see how he was doing and if he would like to have some drinks the next time he was in town. His reply? A blatant 'No'.

He went on to say that he had nothing in common with married people. That, apparently, married people only talked about babies, housework and began sentences with "WE think..." or "WE believe...". So, no, he didn't really want to hang out with me anymore on the simple basis that I had done the most horrific act possible: Get married.

First of all, I was hurt. He was my cousin, after all. And then, I started getting angry. How completely juvenile! How insanely ignorant could he be? And what kind of lame-ass boring married people did he know to come up with a stereotype like that? But after a while, I started to feel sorry for him. Obviously, this guy had issues. A commitment-phobe who hides behind his smug singledom - and who better to take it out on if not his married friends. Was he bitter that we had significant others and he was still searching? Or were all his relationships such a disgrace that instead of bringing out the best in him, they just made him more cynical and hateful? People often think married people carry an air of self-righteousness and treat their single friends condescendingly. But my oh so single cousin has managed to prove that sometimes the shoe is on the other foot.

After a while, I've decided to let him go. I feel sorry that our relationship has soured simply because he has chosen to be judgmental. I know that my real friends are those who will stand by me regardless of my marital status and would love me even if I dyed my hair blue and tattooed 'Toyol' on my forehead (I don't know why I would do that anyway). I know what defines ME and if you can't see past my wedding ring, shame on you.

By the way, I can't wait to attend HIS wedding.


jia said...

There will always be weirdos in the family.

Jeremy said...

a commitment phobe? geez, i'm insulted hahaha

first of all, tell him to (no, not eff off) grow up.

secondly...we should show him how married couples have fun! (mcmlah sa suda kawin haha)

dia ada membership kah tu, mcm sa mau apply owh hahaha

emelda said...

hahahhaha Mel sia terketawa lagi ( tapi no hingus ok) about the toyol tattoo on your forehead.LOL! Aiya woman , you really funny la.