Vroom vroom.

I had an interesting conversation with one of my guy friends the other day over a plate of rojak and lemon teh ping. He was having problems with his long term girlfriend. His father, probably hoping to shed some light but failed miserably, asked him, “Why don’t you just find another girlfriend?” Actually, his exact words were more like, “No other girls out there meh?” but I’m trying to make it sound less…Hakka.

Upon which my friend shook his head in disbelief. “Why does my father think that finding another woman is the answer? What happened to working things out? It’s just like buying a car,” he said.

Okay. It SOUNDED like a callous chauvinistic remark but, God bless his soul, he explained before bodily damage was done.

“Everyone needs or wants a car right? So you get one. Something to suit your needs. Something you are happy with. A good ride you can afford,” he sneaked in a smirk here but quickly wiped it off once he saw my ‘not funny’ expression. “So anyway, you get a car, you take care of it and it takes you places. But it’s gonna have problems now and then right? Doesn’t mean at the first squeak or engine trouble, you chuck it and grab a new car. You fix it. Maybe it just needs some attention,” he concluded.

Like a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend for that matter.

It made so much sense. See, maybe today you can only afford a Kancil (small Malaysian car – so lightweight it only takes four men to lift it. I’ve seen this). One day it breaks down. Too much effort to fix it. So you see a newer model on the road, the Kancil Supreme (less lightweight. Takes five men to lift). Now you want THAT one. So you trade in for something supposedly better. And then this breaks down too. Soon you decide you can afford a BMW after all! But six months down the line you realize: It breaks down too.

Moral: Cars are cars. There are going to be squeaks and scratches. The top range of Mercedes can break down just as suddenly as your dad’s old minivan. Like relationships. It’s not a matter of finding the ‘best’ car. But the one that best suits you and your needs. If I have a family of six, I’m not gonna buy a 2-seater right? Same rules apply. Sometimes, cars and men look good at first glance. They still have the showroom shine about them for the first couple of months. But when you really put the pedal to the metal, only then can you test their true performance.

And trust me, only the worthwhile ones will prevail.

Of walking and weekends.

My weekend was a relatively quiet one. It's my first weekend without The Cubby and it's probably not fair to say this, but it was one big snooze-fest. I guess I'm just used to having him around every weekend, be it having lunch, braving the ridiculous weekend traffic, hitting the cinemas, going to Watson's ("I swear I'm just gonna look...") or just watching him submit to my cats. And the things he makes me do is unbelievable. He has this habit of making me WALK everywhere. Good for you, get some fresh air etc etc etc. We would park in Api-Api Centre and walk to Centrepoint. Ok so that's not exactly 50 kilometres but sometimes it feels like it. I'm not much of a walker. Sadly, I am one of those who prefer the car pulling up right to my doorstep. I suppose another reason why I'm not fond of walking around town is because KK isn't the most pedestrian friendly city. If you work where I work, you'd understand. There's undisciplined drivers to look out for, idiots harrassing women as they walk by ("psst, psst...lawa lah!"), spit on the road (i still don't know why some people do this) and 2-inch wide walkways. Oh and there's the crazy Malaysian heat or pelting rain. Take your pick.

I heart KK/Sabah/Malaysia very much though, so spare me the hate-mail.

But ok, fine. I admit Haw has a point about walking. It saves a lot of time in most cases and a short walk never killed anyone. Yet.

I spent Saturday night drinking with friends. Been a while since I had beer. That first gulp is the best. After that, everything spirals into an oblivion of giggling and spinning walls. Sunday was kept simple with a one on one lunch with my mum. And then it was back home to curl up on the sofa, watch Desperate Housewives for three hours straight and retreat to my room with a headache. I also took the time to sort through my mountains of magazines. I have teen magazines dating back to 1992. Time to throw 'em out you think? However, the sentimental slob in me decided to keep a couple, just so I can show my kids 15 years from now the kind of stuff I read. Imagine that. I'll still have these magazines in time for Wawasan 2020!

Right now, I'm taking a break from work. Blogging from the office is so unethical but as long as no one gets hurt and life as we know it continues to move on, I don't see the problem.

Stay classy, San Diego. (I love Anchorman. Must. watch. again)

Saturday.

It's 10:08am on a Saturday morning and I've decided to come to the office. I'm all alone, except for the security and front desk people downstairs. I kinda like the peace and quiet. It's not all that quiet though - I've got Earth, Wind and Fire singing about a Brick House in the background. Groovy. I've got so much to do and so little time. Sitting around at home waiting for Monday isn't gonna get anything done so I figured I might as well come into work. And what better way to start my writing engine than to blog. Me so clever. Me so procrastinator.

I went to watch a movie last night. My Super Ex-Girlfriend starring Uma Thurman and Luke Wilson. What is it with movie titles these days? First there's "Snakes On a Plane". Now this. And who could forget the classic, "I Know What You Did Last Summer" and its sequel, "I STILL Know What You Did Last Summer." My brother went out to buy a dvd the other day and I couldn't believe the title:

"I Always Know What You Did Last Summer"

Seriously, we get it.

Back to the Super Ex-Girlfriend. It was entertaining to say the least. Just strange to see The Bride flying around in tasteless clothes (really) saving New York City.

G-Girl. Can someone please tell me what the G stands for?

It's a nice play on role reversal (woman saving man) and I enjoyed the sex scenes. As perverted as that sounds, allow me to explain. There was a scene where Uma and Luke Wilson were in bed and she was straddling him. And she goes, "Ready?" and starts humping him (fully-clothed, nothing too graphic here). She's so strong that the bed is slamming against the wall so hard and everything begins to crack. It's pretty funny, seeing Luke helpless and 'roughed up' so to speak. At the end she breaks the bed and collapses beside him, "I'm sorry. I'll get you a new one." He looks at her in exhaustion saying,"A bed or a penis?"

It was entertaining. Watch it if you want some mindless entertainment and to see Ms. Thurman in a completely different element. She's got the weirdest nose though.

I also bought a TM iTalk calling card yesterday. It's been a while since I had to use one of these things and was so bloody frustrated when I couldn't get through. I was on the verge of tears and ran to my brother asking for help.

Me: I keep dialling this number. It's the correct one, I swear. I called it from my handphone yesterday *trying not to sob*

Him: *takes a look at the number.Looks at me* Are you calling using a landline right now?

Me: Yes! I don't understand... *hyperventilating*

Him: *hands me back the card* It's an international call. You have to dial zero zero to call out from a landline.

Me: Oh.

Yes, I got through after that.

Anyway, it's time to get some real work done. You guys have a good weekend now.

Focus.

It's all about focus.

Keep your eye on the prize.

Don't let the small things get in the way. Always see the big picture and you will realise everything else doesn't matter. It's just white noise, trying to distract.

I keep telling myself to remember what really matters. And that all the heartache I go through will lead to something good. All those times he made me cry and made me feel unloved. All those times I was second best. All those times he 'couldn't want me'.

For those moments, I will laugh twice as hard and feel loved twice as much. And I will be 'number one'. I will want and be wanted again.

I'm keeping my eye on the prize. Almost there.

Focus.

Hell hath no fury.

Forget Victoria's Secret. Here's a billboard that'll catch my attention anytime.

Funny story of the day

Went to Turtle Island with a colleague. We have similar backpacks and upon checking in, she mistakenly picks up my bag and walks away with it. "Wei, that's my bag la!" i holler to her. She looks confused for a minute, looks at the backpack and laughs. We exchange bags.

Me: That was bound to happen...
Her: We probably should do something to differentiate them.
Me: What do you propose?
Her: I think I'll put a nametag.

Best part: Her name is Melissa too.

Tuesday's child.

So it's Tuesday. I have a headache. And writer's block. It's four p.m and although I can't wait to leave, I don't want to go home. I don't want to write about traditional gongs and sea turtles anymore. I'm tempted to crawl into bed, have a good cry, think about him and go shopping. Weird combination, I know.

We chatted today. And it made me so happy. He's homesick. And I miss his funny faces.

To Sandakan we shall go...

I'm off to Sandakan to see this:
and this:

Fortunately, there won't be these :


See ya when I get back. Have a great weekend.

hilang glamour.

It's 3pm. I'm sitting behind my desk. I have lots of energy. In my state of hyperness, I let out a hoot (yes, hoot). Actually I let out three hoots. Pretty loud hoots too.

And then a cute guy walks in looking for my boss.

*mortified*

Too bad I can't take back my 'hoots'. I'm gonna look for a hole to crawl into now.

Monster in law.

There are few things I hate more than dentists and cockroaches. Linda Blair in The Exorcist ranks high as well but coming in closely in second place would definitely be meeting my boyfriend’s parents.

Guys think they have it hard when it comes to meeting their girlfriends’ parents, especially when daddy owns an impressive collection of firearms. But have you ever thought how difficult it is for us girls? We have to impress your MOTHER. The woman who spent 18 hours in labour to bring you into this world and changed your sheets discreetly when you had your first wet dream. I don’t care how nice your mother is because behind her smile when she greets me at the door is the thought that, “She is not good enough for my son.” Ok maybe I generalize. But why is it that I’ve never had the most pleasant of experiences when it comes to boyfriends and their mothers?

Alex (SO obviously not his real name…as it will be with the others to follow)
Alex was my first boyfriend when I was 17. Yes, I was a late bloomer but that’s another blog altogether. To put it in a nutshell, it was short-lived romance and therefore I never got to meet his mother. Blessing in disguise perhaps.

Jacob
Jacob and I had a rather intense albeit confusing relationship. A neither here nor there thing but we always knew we were ‘together’. I never met his mother neither but unlike Alex who hardly spoke of his parents, Jacob was fond of his mum. He would tell me what his mother liked, what she did during her free time and what kind of gifts his dad bought for her. Again, I never had the chance of meeting her. I always wondered if she would have liked me. I asked Jacob this once and diplomatically he answered, “She just wants me happy.” Okaaay. And then he mentioned how it was vital that his mother had a daughter-in-law who could bake.

I’ll let you guess where that relationship went.

Chris
We went out for five years. We got along great and everything was peachy keen.Minor glitch: Mummy dearest. I had snagged the dream loyal and steadfast boyfriend who made me laugh but, unfortunately, was still dangling from some annoying apron strings. When I first met his mum, I was still his ‘friend from college’ and mum was more than welcoming. A group of us would stay over his house for the weekend (his hometown was a couple of hours away from college so it was a nice getaway now and then) and his parents always played the gracious hosts. His dad was exceptionally nice and I always enjoyed having a chat with him. Everything was fine. Until we started officially dating. That’s when the ‘glaring’ started. I kid you not, the moment the mother started to suspect I was dating her darling boy, she started giving me the eye every time we met. I would be watching TV and I could feel her eyes burning a hole in my head. I wasn’t imagining this because his cousins told me that this was typical behaviour of their aunt. “Chris is her precious baby, you should realize that by now. No one will be good enough for him…You’ve got quite a task before you,” his cousin Lisa confided. No kidding, I thought silently. There was one time when his mum picked us up from the train station and as we were driving back to his home, his mum started stroking his head and said, “Study hard in college, ok son? Girlfriends can wait. Studies first.” And there I was in the backseat trying not to gag. I get the freakin’ point, lady. Things just got more irritating by the day. If we were studying in my apartment, he’d lie to her on the phone and say he was with some other ‘friends’. He would never say he was having lunch/dinner with me. And it took the longest time for him to tell his mum I was his girlfriend. We hardly argued but when we did, it was usually because of his mum. Things didn’t work out in the end but we’re still good friends. I loved him but probably not enough to spend the rest of my life feeling like I was never good enough for his mother.

Elmer
Ok so his name wasn’t really Elmer but that’s not the point. I had it really bad for Elmer. I had boyfriends before but this time, I had fallen hard and fast. In the first year, we had the best time and my family loved him. The only thing missing from the equation was that I had yet to meet his family. It bothered me a little that he kept me a secret from his family. Was I so deformed that he couldn’t bring me to meet his parents? He finally did. His dad- as most dads are- was amiable and made me feel at ease. The real hurdle was his mother. I knew if I could score here, everything would be okay. Turned out his mother was nothing like Chris’ but that’s not to say she was a walk in the park. She was a nice enough lady but I also knew she was a very private person. A smile here, a friendly word there and she would be on her way. I was never sure what she thought about me. She never went out of her way to be nice to me but she was never unfriendly either. In some ways, this was a species of mother I had never encountered before and posed quite a challenge. All seemed ok until Elmer shed some light on her thoughts. During one of their conversations, she mentioned that I was a ‘nice girl’ (yeah like nice socks, nice plant…) but he should be careful seeing that I was Kadazan, which meant I would have the tendency to pressure a man into marrying me as quickly as possible.

Not only was this the most racist bullshit I’ve heard but I nearly burst out laughing at her cockiness of me wanting to corner her darling son into marriage! I was only 24 at that time and no where near ready for marriage.

I became wary from that point on and kept my guard up. I was insulted. Long story short, Elmer and I had a painful break-up (well it was for me anyway) three years later. It got me wondering: What is it about me and boyfriends’ mothers? I’m a decent girl, with perfectly good hygiene and no criminal record. I say please and thank you, and although I can’t bake, I’ve got a great sense of humour. My parents ensured I grew up well-educated and I’m financially independent. Why am I made to feel like a burden or a liability by my boyfriends’ mothers? Perhaps they’ve forgotten that some time ago, they weren’t good enough for someone’s son as well.

"I can't make you love me, if you don't.
You can't make your heart feel something it won't."
-I Can't Make You Love Me. I can't recall who sang this though.

Hectic.

One word to describe the last few blurry days. It's been 'good hectic' and 'bad hectic'. My family is still in Sydney, while the poor ol' fourth born child (that would be me) is left home scrubbing floors and cleaning the fireplace.

Not that we have a fireplace.

Actually, it hasn't been too bad. Although I didn't expect to miss the hustle and bustle of the Leong family as much. I kinda miss my mum's nagging, my dad's whistling and my bro taking up space on the couch. On the upside, I don't have to give a status report every few hours and I have more privacy, wink wink. My cat, Happy, strolls into my parents bedroom every morning with her incessant meowing - I really think he's stressed that the Patriach hasn't been home for a week now. Cute kan?

On the social side, I've been drinking. And i don't mean bottles of mineral water mind you. Every since Haw announced he was leaving, it's been one party/outing after another all in the name of a farewell - I really think it's just an excuse to drink till we drop but hey, I'm not complaining. I took Friday off last week, which was a wise idea seeing that my Thursday night out stretched on a wee bit longer than I thought it would. I was also partially deaf from all the screeching guitars and pounding drums the night before at The Rawk. And there was a lot of shouting into microphones going on - Somehow they called it 'singing'. Ah.

Friday was also Haw's farewell party at the Kinabalu Yacht Club. It was small, simple and insane. Put simply, it was a blast and I think Haw finally realised how much he means to everyone in the office. Pics from the crazy night:


This is what happens when you ask boys to pose for the camera.

And more proof that boys simply cannot take normal photos:

Squeeeeeeezing into the frame.


Heh heh, somebody finally called it a night after one too many flaming lambos and beer.

Damn, can't post any more photos. Be back later.

The Cubby.

There are colleagues. And then there are friends. Sometimes you think never the twain shall meet. Colleagues, after all, are merely acquaintances you meet at work, discuss office matters with and occassionally greet at the pantry when making a cup of coffee. Once you punch out at 5pm, you do your thing and your colleagues, well, pretty much go on their own way.

You don't mix business with pleasure, they say. Or the other less finesse way of saying it,"You don't eat and shit at the same place." But what happens when the workplace becomes a place you actually ENJOY being at? And work becomes bearable? And -oh horror- your colleagues become your friends?

Well for starters, going to work every morning doesn't seem like a chore anymore, that's for sure.

It's like "Hey I'm getting paid to hang out with my friends 9 hours a day, five days a week. Cool!" Ok and plus you actually have to do work. For the last 2 and a half years (coming to 3, a record for me...), working here has been great. Sure I have moments when I want to strangle some people but hey, I feel the same way about my family. Not only do I get to do the one thing I'm half decent at (yes, writing. no smart remarks), I also get to travel now and then, meet interesting people and eat, eat, eat. Boy do I get to eat. And i get free massages! You get the pic.

But i also get to hang out with some great people day in day out. One of them is none other the Great Hawdini (haha i'm so clever, i know). Haw (it's pronounce 'How' as in How are you.) Anyway, the point of this whole post is to address the fact that he's leaving the company. Today being his last day (*sniff*). He's truly been my partner in crime and saviour at times when the shit was about to hit the fan - and for moments when it really did hit the fan. At work, not only does he entertain the most tedious of requests ("Can you burn this on the CD for me?"), he also goes the extra mile :"Not only will I burn this for you, I will also TEACH you how!" Upon which, I quickly forget within the next five minutes. Pemalas.

But Haw has been there for me beyond the call of duty. When my car wouldn't start, when I was too drunk to drive home after a-bit-too-happy hours and when my boyfriend ceremoniously dumped me. He's taught me loads of stuff from how to change a lightbulb to the difference between REAL rock music and Coldplay. But what truly blows me away about him is that I know he would do the same for just about anyone, and that's what makes him the best kind of friend.

He's going to Canada to learn how to speak funny and end all his sentences with 'Eh'. Ha ha. Actually, he's going to further his studies in digital animation and come back and impress everyone by making an updated version of Sang Monyet Dan Sang Buaya on Tv1 ("Aku tak peduli, aku tak peduli! Aku nak juga!"). Seriously, I wish nothing but the best for him. If I had my way, I'd bring Canada here so he could study and I'd still have someone around to remind me my car's about to fall apart if I don't service it soon.

I'm gonna miss ya.

One year.

Exactly one year ago, I was dumped and finally discovered what a broken heart feels like.

One year ago, someone came up to me and told me had secretly liked me for a while.

One year ago, I cried myself to sleep, didn't come out of my room the whole day and couldn't stop my head from pounding.

One year ago, I was rejected.

One year ago, I was loved.

One year ago, my best friends held my hand and told me I would get through this.

One year ago, I realised how much my family loved me and would always love me even when everyone else stopped doing so.

One year ago, I wasn't sure if i would pull through.

One year ago, I knew things would never be the same.

One year ago, I hated him.

One year ago, I loved him.

It's been the longest year of my life. So much has changed. Watch this space.

More photos!

Yay, I can post more photos! Continuation from my Seaventures-Roach Reefs Resort-Mabul trip earlier this month:

Seaventures Dive Resort. Used to be an oil rig, can you tell?

The main deck/lobby area. The dining hall is on the right side (white chairs). It gets super windy and I was annoyed at how quickly my food got cold! Haw's soup was all over the place before it even reached his mouth.

The Sun Deck as they call it. This is where they serve dinner (when it's not raining). Niiiiiiiice.

My teeny tiny sleeping cubicle...I mean, bedroom. Or something like that.
Snorkelling at Barracuda Point. You think I'm pale now? Imagine me after spending almost an hour in the strong currents and choppy waters trying not to get sick.

I FOUND LAND! It's the Borneo Divers Mabul Resort actually...

Weekend.

Five words: I had a great weekend.

How was yours?

Stephanie Klein

Stephanie Klein - She's excellent. I came across her by chance and maybe, just maybe, I was fated to read this. Excerpt from 'I can't make you love me, if you don't?' by Stephanie Klein:

I’d just have to be the girl he fell in love with, be loving to him, because men like how women make them feel. They spend their lives wishing we were just as we’d been at the beginning. “Be yourself,” bullshit landed on my door in one neat advice pellet. But how can I when I’m this anxious? “You act,” I was told. “Play it cool, like you don’t care.” But I’m supposed to make him feel good, not like he has to chase me, not now; it’s too late for that. And this is the dizzy mess I danced, in my head, thinking too much. But really, only men told me I was thinking too much. Women understood and helped me strategize.

When you’re buried in emotion and decision, everything seems messy and unclear. It’s obvious to outsiders who give the advice, capping it with “easier said then done,” because they know it sounds easy, even though it will feel hard. Here’s something I wrote to myself in my journal to help me tread and navigate through it: “Talking about it doesn’t make me feel any better. Hearing that it will be okay, that neither of us wants it to end only makes me feel better temporarily. ‘Cause he knows just what to tell me, so he’s giving me just enough, without giving me everything. The truth is that there is nothing, NOTHING, that is going to make me feel better other than hearing from him that he wants me and that he is sorry for having to have put me through this. The only thing that will make me feel normal again is if he’s so in love, so determined to have me as his wife that he declares it outright. God, it’s what I deserve. And staying and working things through will not bring him to this revelation. It won’t. It will be bending over backwards, walking on shells, worrying about what he tells his friends that he’s not telling me, all for him to maybe say that he’s still unsure. I don’t want to live a lifetime waiting in his doubts. For his epiphanies. In a world of his. It’s not a time to be patient; it’s a time to move on and live your life, not bound up in one person who doesn’t know. Life, as cliche as it is, is too damn short.”

Here’s the thing I didn’t realize when I was deep in it. When I wrote about having to not give him a hard time when he wants to hang with the guys, etc. When I tried to talk myself into being better for him, better about his parents, etc… here’s what I didn’t realize. OH MY GOD, there ARE men out there who WANT me around almost all the time, who would insist I join them at the game, men who can communicate, who don’t give a shit what their parents think, who put me first, who are so excited about being near me and doing things for me to show me this. I didn’t want to realize that maybe he wasn’t a good match for me, that maybe what I needed was someone who felt things more deeply, someone who wanted to be in a communicative important relationship, someone who honestly would rather be at a cafe with me, sipping wine than with his pals on the course—um, I’m not kidding (there are men out there who don't care about golf). And yes, now that I'm in a relationship like that, I don't care if he wants to spend time with others. I know we both want to be together, so when we're not, we communicate in sweet texts, eager to see each other soon. It's not the end of the world. But then, I didn’t want to realize that really we were mismatched. Instead I was dead set on making it work, trying to change, to bite my tongue and be a good partner. It was work, and sometimes work is too hard. So you need to make the even harder choice and leave. Which feels like quitting, like failing at another relationship, but really, you’re quitting a bad habit, the need to hold on when it’s time to let go. The need to make someone love you. Maybe you can do it, but it's too much work, and you'll only always question if he's there for the right reasons. It's no way to live or to love.

Read the whole article here .

If there ever was an article that hit home right now, this would be it.

Seasick. Almost.

* had more photos to post below but again, blogger failed me. Will post more soon.

Back from my seafaring trip to the East Coast of Sabah. With all that time on the sea, I feel like a pirate. Arr matey. The trip was good except for all the travelling. We had to squeeze two destinations in 3 days 2 nights. Sounded feasible until we actually tried it. Our journey went something like this:

Fly to Tawau from KK=45 minutes
Tawau-Semporna by road =1 hour
Semporna to Seaventures, Mabul island by boat =1 hour due to the choppy sea. It was quite an experience with me turning 3 shades of green
Seaventures Dive Resort overnight.

Day 2:
Seaventures to Semporna by boat = 1 hour
Semporna to Tawau by road = 1 hour
Tawau Yacht Club to Roach Reefs Resort by boat =45 minutes

And back to Tawau next day. You get the pic. But like i said, when it comes to island trips, I can't really complain, heh. Photos below!

Roach Reefs Resort, located some 45 minutes from Tawau by boat. It's a man-made island actually. Two barges were sunk, piled with rocks and sand and voila...Your very own island!


Me outside my cabin in Roach Reefs. Island trip+hammock = great photo op!


And then I tried my hand at being behind the camera and took one of the photographer. Doesn't Haw look so pretty?

Went snorkelling. Bad idea as the current was really strong. I gave up swimming back to the boat and had to be 'towed' back by Haw and our snorkelling guide. Pic of me having tea after the exhausting fiasco at sea. (all was not lost though. I spotted a barracuda!)
Doesn't get any bluer than this. My favourite view of the Celebes Sea to date.

Useless info for the weekend

Ok everybody, I'm off to islands again this. Friday in the meantime, some quiz results that bring you a step closer to knowing Fridaycat. Muah.

Your Lucky Underwear Is Red

You're confident and bold, and your lucky red underwear will only make you more sure of yourself.You have a great zest for life, and you tend to take on impossible goals - and succeed. When it comes to love, it's hard for you to take the time to open up. You're too busy conquering the world.So if you're looking for a little more romance, put on your red underpants. And see where their passion takes you!

What Color Is Your Lucky Underwear?

Your Ideal Pet is a Cat

You're both aloof, introverted, and moody.And your friends secretly wish that you were declawed!

What's Your Ideal Pet?

Your Pirate Name Is...

Arch-Pirate Flirty Fran

What's Your Pirate Name?

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"Nice doggy."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

Reminder:Gotta get sunblock.

Off to another island this weekend. Seaventures and Roach Reefs Resort in Tawau. Seaventures used to be an oil rig but has been converted into a reosrt (very unique, no?) and is two minutes away from Mabul (refer to earlier post. Mabul = bliss). I think this might be my last island trip for the year. Then again...you never know.

In other aspects of my life: Same old same old. I cleaned out my closet yesterday and was depressed at how many items of clothing don't fit anymore. Maybe they shrunk. Maybe while I was sleeping, some tiny elves swapped clothes with me. Or tiny toyols - ok i'm scaring myself now. The point is, I've come to terms that I don't think I'll ever fit an XS or even S for that matter. I put them aside and decided to look at the brighter side of things:

I get to buy more clothes!

Ever the realistic optimist. I'm meeting a friend for coffee after work to discuss love, life and why we never win the lottery.

"If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong
I know better
Cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew"
- Pink, 'Who Knew'. She still got some good songs left in her it seems...

Cinemetiquette

I went to the cinema last night. I love going to the movies, especially if it's clean, organised and doesn't smell like rat piss.

However, I strongly believe there are some people out there whose sole purpose in life is to make the whole cinematic experience for others a living hell. Please bear with me as I take you through the Top 10 ANNOYING people/habits/whatever in the Cinema:

1. Handphones: Come on, SERIOUSLY, do I even need to mention this? Some cinemas even put friendly reminders on the huge-ass screen to put your phone on silent mode or turn it off. And if you're an ignorant moron who can't read, the picture of a phone with a huge slash across it should give you a hint. Still, at some point, a phone will ring (an annoying techno buzz tone to boot) and people go," Oi, ssshhhh". But noooooo. The next thing you hear is, "HALLO? AH MING AH? I WATCH MOVIEEEE. MA KAI?"

2. Food other than popcorn/soda: I've seen people sneak in fries and burgers. Noisy sunflower seeds (kuaci). Even 'mangga jeruk'. But last night really took the cake. The movie was about to start and these four girls in front of me whip out their dinner. And when i say dinner, I mean rice with FISH and some veggie cooked in sambal. Who the fuck eats sambal in the cinema? You have to be stupid multiplied by 800 to do such a thing. The guys behind me were saying, "What is that smell?" Please refers to row F seats 12 to 15.

3. Yappers: The movie already has a dialogue and yet some people feel compelled to ad-lib.

Girl 1: "Nah you see ah...He's the bad guy."
Girl 2: "No, he's the hero tu. *pause* I think he's the hantu.
Girl 1: "Ya ya! Hantu dat, hantu dat."

Or the people who give running commentaries:
Girl: "He's opening the door..."
Guy: "He's looking around..."
Girl: "He's turning on the lights..."

Last night, I sat beside the noisiest yappers. The girl beside me had the most irritating laugh and expressions. She kept saying, "Oh-doi!" every few minutes. I wanted to oh-doi her with a slap.

4. Fidgeting: I hate sitting beside people who can't keep still. Leg shakers are the worst. Hey, bozo, the seats are connected so when you shake you hairy leg, you're shaking the whole row.

5. Children (accompanied by ignorant parents): I like kids. Especially when they're sleeping. I don't like them when they are running around in cinemas, asking a million questions about the 'bad man' or need to use the toilet for the 17th time. Another tip for procreators: Movies have ratings for a reason. Bringing your 4-year-old to watch 'The Hills Have Eyes' is a great way to ensure sleepless nights for the next two weeks.

6. Latecomers: You know that thing with a short hand and a long hand and goes tick tick tick? Use it.

7. Couples making out...In front of you: Two words - back row.

8. Souvenirs from the last show: I don't fancy sitting on mouldy popcorn or stepping on someone's spilt soda. Why can't people pick up after themselves? It's like dogs who need pooper-scoopers during their walk in the park. Clean up your own shit.

9. People in the wrong seat: This never fails to amaze me. I can understand if you get one seat wrong ("Oh sorry, you're right. This is J12, mine's J13"). But a whole row??? Tip for the Idiot: The letter on your ticket is your ROW and the number is your SEAT. Seat M10 does not mean 'Mana-Mana 10'.

10. People who give away the plot: Very likely to be Yappers (see no.3). So you've seen the movie 3 times and you know who the bad guy really is. Shut the hell up. You're not gonna get a pat on the head for giving away the plot.

If you are guilty of any of the above, do us all a favour and watch the DVD at home.