My one true north.

Every now and then, a song pops into my head/radio and it conjures up thoughts of my Haw. When there are days I'm feeling completely lost, I know I have him right there with me - and everything's good again.

You - by Rascal Flatts
Every road that I've been down
The only truth that I have found
There's only one thing I can't live without
You

I was searching for something
I thought I would never find
Losing my mind
In and out of bad love,
I thought I was born to lose
Then came you
I thought I knew what the real thing was
But nothing shakes me like your love does
I've been hypnotized

Now I realize
Every time I get lost in a temperamental mood
You still stay cool
Just when I think that this life's about to drive me insane
You take the reins
Every time I feel I'm drifting off course
You're my compass, you're my one true north
In a mixed up world
You make sense to me

Hello and goodbye

A good friend and my ex-boss, Collyn, is leaving good 'ol KK for Beijing (she's just left, to be exact). Her husband is a golf pro who's been offered a contract there and although we'll miss her lots, greener pastures are too good to resist! Photos from our farewell lunch last week at Toscani's (where else?).

With cheeky Thomas. This is the happiest baby I've ever met!

And surprise surprise, look who dropped by unexpectedly? An old friend from my uni days, Dinesh. He was in town for only a day but he's promised to swing by again, this time with Mrs. Dinesh. He's one of those friends who can make me laugh till my sides ache and is a dying breed of decent males out there - as Murphy's law would have it, he is very much taken, heh heh. Wei, you better come back as promised.

*******

In other updates, I haven't been feeling well. A lovely dose of headaches topped with a sprinkle of nausea. I had a few sips of my noodle soup during lunch and could feel it rising, so i stopped. True enough when I got to the office, I got cozy with the sink. Blergh. I left the office and collapsed into bed for three hours. Tomorrow will be a better day. I hope.

Pu and Bala's Great Big Adventure

One of my oldest and dearest friends, Puei, tied the knot last Saturday. It was a flurry of excitement, combined with jitters and loads of laughs. It's been a while since all six of us got together and what better occassion than a wedding. Photos as promised! Calvin - the official photographer - took loads of gorgeous shots but we'll have to wait till those are ready. In the meantime, through the lens of Fridaycat we go...


The bride's shoes. So pretty kan?

Pu bought her seven bridesmaids the same material and we could design it as we please. This was mine.

Dresses galore at the bride's residence.

Pretty maids all in a row, haha! Carol, Mia, Yolanda, Selina and yours truly.

In church (duh). Flanked by the bride's sisters, Meriel and Pu Nie.

"It's done. Let's drink and be merry!" - Pu and her groom, Balamugilan.

Back at the suite - Bala realises that his bride comes with a whole set of wacky girlfriends. Uh oh.

The beautiful bride and Sel yang sangat santik

The Pussycat Dolls gone bridal.

Bollywood moment with Mia.

The dinner reception was held at Pacific Sutera. And as fate would have it, the three Melissa's are sitting in a row. Mel Nicholas, Mel Cham, Mel Leong.

Met so many long-lost links. Francis and I were classmates back in primary school and the last time I saw him was about 10 years ago.

Well, there you have it. Love you loads, Pu. We wish nothing but happiness and more happiness for you and Bala.

Bala, take good of our Puei. Or else. heh heh.

PS: Mia caught the bouquet. Heh. I'm just itching for another wedding.

Back to school.

I've been spending the last two days at Cosmopoint, a local college, to attend a 3-day course on Photoshop. There are three of us in a class and I must sayI've been enjoying it. It's a nice change from the office routine and it brings back memories of my college days. Definitely better times. The last-minute assignment rush, the 1am mamak stall visits, the anticipation of coming home for the holidays...

But broke as hell lah.

Life is more 'grown-up' these days but I think the best part (if i had to think of one) about being an 'adult' is having my own money. Instead of asking from my parents for moolah, it's nice to be giving them a little something now and then. The problem is, as we start to make money, we begin the trend of 'It's-never-enough'. The person bringing home RM1K is envious of the person who makes RM2k, who then wants to make at least RM3k but even then, wishes his/her payroll was around RM4k. Can't win, i tell ya.

******

Two more days to the wedding! No, not mine la. My dress is ready (me likey it very much) and the rehearsal is tomorrow evening. This weekend is all about the bride and groom and I'm very honoured to be a part of it. OMG Pu,you're getting married. So big girl oredi...haha!

In other updates, my internet connection at home has been sucky. How sucky? Put it this way: Chatting with Haw via smoke signals would be faster. Fingers crossed. Macam ok sudah today. Alright peeps, I must go for now. My aunt and cousin from Sydney are arriving today. Time to play the 'grown up' niece!

"Sun is in the sky
Oh why oh why would I wanna be anywhere else?"
- Lily Allen, with the very catchy LDN. And yes, the sun is FINALLY in the KK sky again!

Geram pt....Ok you get the point.

Hello semua. Pardon the font. And lack of photos. Blogger still being bodoh. So in the meantime...

It's Tuesday already. Half of January has flown by (yay!) and it's only going to get busier from here on (boo!). Apart from my monthly deadline, there are events (first up, Kudat for the Sunset Symphony at the Tip of Borneo in March) and places to visit for my articles. Time to get packing. Chinese New Year is around the corner and i STILL qualify for ang pows, heh heh. The Joy Luck Club can nag all they want about 'settling down' bla bla bla but hey, CNY is the one time you actually get paid for being unmarried! All hail the Chinese.

This week, I'm off to a 3-day course on how to use Photoshop. Finally can tamper my photos so i look 5 kilos lighter, haha. And on a more exciting note, one of my best friends is getting hitched this Saturday! I will be one of 8 bridesmaids. Will try to get photos up after this weekend (pending blogger's bitchiness ratio...). I've also been busy with some freelance work so it's taking up quite a bit of my evenings. Rome has indeed taken a backseat.

Apart from that, it's the usual daily grind for yours truly. Ok, more updates soon.

Geram, pt.2.

What the hell is wrong with blogger now? I can't post photos nor change the font of my text. Anyone else with this problem?

I'll be right back once i get this sorted.

Geram.

Today I am geram.

Geram - exasperate(d), annoy(ed) greatly
*Kamus Dwibahasa Oxford Fajar Melayu-Inggeris (Third Edition)

First, three years of MP3s compiled by me and Haw have mysteriously been wiped off his old hard drive here in the office (they reformatted it and conveniently, only the MP3s were not backed up. grr.) Sigh. And now, I cannot find the photos (neatly compiled) for my monthly magazine for the year 2006 in the hard drive neither.

Someone's gonna get hurt real bad.

I'm just hoping that it's hidden somewhere, like inside a folder of a folder of a folder of a folder. I was so tempted to call Haw to ask him the exact location of the folder but it's like 3am in Toronto. Grumpy Cubby. Not a good idea.

Bad news: I have a headache coming on.
Good news: I go home in 9 minutes.

Writer, right here.

Time check: 7:30 pm. Here I am, listening to Panic At The Disco on some online radio, finally sent out several articles to my proofreader and tidying up my office desk. It's dark outside. I really should get going. I meant to leave an hour ago but it's amazing how once you get going, you just keep going. And moments like these are rare for me. My muse finally decided to give me a hand and God bless her (yes, I'm pretty sure it's a 'her'), I got a lot of work done.

I don't know about you guys but for me, writing is all about being in the right state of mind, at the right time, right place. Sometimes the inspiration might hit me but I'll be in the middle of flossing so...wrong time. Or I could be seated in front of the pc, with the cursor blinking back at me, no interruptions but nothing hits me so...wrong state of mind.

But today. Ah today. Everything just fell into place. I'm alone and inspired. No phone calls, no faxes to deal with, no annoying demands...Bliss. Anyway, as i said, it's getting dark and I think i've finally drained myself dry. No more writing for tonight. Save this blog...

Rome, here I come.

I now pronounce you...legally divorced!

My mum pointed this out in the papers today:

“One in five UK couples on verge of break up: Polls”

Ah, more happy stories in the news. The more you read, the more incredulous it sounds. According to a recent poll (they always say that, don’t they?), sex, infidelity, abuse and falling out of love are the primary reasons for a divorce.

And in true male fashion, guess what the boys are saying about the biggest factor in a marriage breakdown? Lack of sex.

Figures.

I find this a really disturbing trend. One in five? I bet 40 years ago, it was something like one in 50. And the reasons for a marital breakdown are getting pettier. “He doesn’t buy me flowers…”, “She doesn’t understand why I need a guy’s night out…”, “He’s so boring!”, “She’s put on so much weight.”

I’m not married myself but I do believe in the sanctity of marriage and during a time where marriages come and go as quickly as my ex-boyfriend (haha), I still have faith that these unions can last. My dad says that my generation gives up too easily. “Divorce is so easy these days,” he laments. I agree. We DO give up too easily. Nobody fights the good fight anymore. However, let me make it clear the one ground for divorce I do support is abuse – no qualms on this. But even then, I know of couples who have actually pulled through an abusive relationship through therapy and reconciliation. Hats off to them because truth be told, I probably couldn’t do it.

But back to the news report. One in four divorcees admitted they had doubts about the solidity of the coming union as they walked down the aisle. Let this be a lesson, ladies. Please don’t confuse the excited butterflies in your stomach with the sickening realization that you don’t really love that man standing at the altar.

And the poll also found some evidence of the notorious ‘seven-year itch’: The average length of time for people to realize whether their marriage works or not was seven years three months. Now, this scares me. Seven years to figure out ‘gee oh my, this isn’t working out’? Still, I have to admit, sometimes only time will tell. But nothing is going to work out without a little bit of effort from both parties. If at the end of the day I did my best and the shit still hit the fan…What more can I say?

Love is a gamble. Heck, LIFE is a gamble. Everyone has their fair share of chips. You choose your table, place your bets and cross your fingers. Sometimes you win, other times you watch someone sweep your life savings away. Then again, the higher the stakes, the bigger the win. And sometimes, it’s a chance you have to take.

"God bless you. You make me feel brand new."
-You Make Me Feel Brand New, Simply Red. Great song.

Building Rome in a day...or two.

Since Streamyx is moving at this pace:

I've had to resort to other things apart from blogging, downloading songs or surfing the net from random whatevers. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm back to my favourite Roman addiction: CAESAR III!

Ah yes, Empress Moo Moo is slowly building her empire. I'm currently ranked Quaestor (I think I've got four more levels before I finish). What can I say...I'm a sucker for building cities. But this one beats SimCity any day. Caesar (who else?) will instruct you to build cities at each level, each one with different requirements (higher peace rating, more citizens etc.) First, you choose what kind of gameplay interests you:

I'm wimpy so I always choose a relatively peaceful region but with more demands on other ratings ( a higher population count or more favours for Caesar). But as you go further into the game, 'relatively peaceful' is just a nice way of saying 'You don't get attacked as much'. So you still have to get your troops ready. But you really can't expect much if your Prima Legion is called The Rabbits. Seriously. I hate doing this bit. I get all panicky.

And while you're busy protecting your fellow citizens, don't forget to worship the Gods: Neptune (Sea), Venus (Love), Mercury (Commerce), Mars (War) and Ceres (Farming). Woe upon he who forgets to build a nice temple or throw a festival for EACH God every few months.

Ha. See? If you piss Neptune off, He'll give you a nasty storm and your fishing villages will suffer as will your trade routes that rely on the sea. Tsk tsk. But when you make 'em happy, Mars, for example, will crush your enemies the minute they arrive at the gates. Hurrah!

The game, needless to say,is really addictive. You just keep building and building, while making sure your people don't get sick or move to another city. And you get to build theatres, Colisseums, lion houses, warehouses, bath houses, schools, perfectures, olive farms, barracks etc. And make sure people pay their taxes. Oh, and keep sending Caesar gifts every 12 months. So much to do...So few hours in a day! Sigh. Maybe I'm a bit of a control freak: Finding simple pleasures in running and managing a city, with every man at my mercy, muahaha. Syok oh. And the best bit is, when something goes wrong...Restart! I know I'm addicted to something when I kill the last few moments before I drive off to work by turning on the PC and telling myself, "Just five more minutes..." In fact, I can't wait to get home to complete this level. After Rome...THE WORLD!

But can someone tell me why the Romans have a British accent?

Malam Di Muzium

The critics almost panned this movie and the average rating hovers around a 'C'. Ok, so it's not Stiller's best work (I can't decide between Zoolander and Starsky & Hutch) but I stand my ground when I say 'Night At The Museum' is one of the better movies I've seen in a long time.

The Village People hoped the new line-up would create a more diverse fan base

In all honesty, the movie poster alone was enough to get me curious: A security guard standing in a museum hallway and a T-Rex peering from above along with a bunch of other historical figures (Robin Williams was unmistakable though). I knew we were looking at something along the lines of 'Jumanji' and some fantasy brain candy - which is exactly what I wanted.

"I think your uniform is so much hotter than mine...And I don't even get a horse!"

So Ben Stiller plays Larry Daley - a sorta-loser who can't keep a job, divorced with a 10-year old son who just 'can't take another disappointment'. Enter job at the museum. Desperate Larry takes it and voila! The magic begins. Turns out the museum comes alive every night due to an ancient Egyptian curse found on a golden plate located within the museum grounds. Larry's job? To make sure everything's in order each night and nothing/no one gets out (sunlight turns them into dust apparently).
"My, how waxy your hands are..."

Sounds basic except it gets quite interesting when this involves entertaining a T-Rex that likes to play fetch and handling a bunch of miniature cowboys (headed by the excellent Owen Wilson who has a serious tiny-man self-esteem problem) and Roman soldiers who can't seem to get along. Oh and dodging Attila the Hun who keeps hunting Larry down so he can tear him limb from limb.

All in a day's work, eh?

The plot thickens (it had better. Digital animation can get you so far...) when the older night guards (Mickey Rooney, Dick Van Dyke and Bill Cobbs are pretty springy for their age) rob the museum. Or should I say attempt to. Yep, you guessed it, Larry to the rescue. With the help of his newfound museum pals, the last 20 minutes of the movie becomes a full-flung adventure. Fantastic animation and I love how the 'miniatures' get over-melodramatic. There's even an Armageddon-like scene at the end where Owen and Roman dude walk up the stairs in slow-mo.

"Ok children, stand back. The wax figures are about to come alive!" - Carla Gugino as the sexy and brainy museum guide person thingy.

All in all, the movie kept me fascinated the whole time and there were plenty of laughs. What can I say: Simple pleasures for a simple mind. I'm hardly in the mood for cry-me-a-river dramas or secret agent stories with 25 plots unravelled every 10 minutes. Give me Ben Stiller, a dose of Robin Williams, 2 inches of Owen Wilson (wait a minute...) and a bunch of historical characters come alive - I'm one happy cat.

Random Tuesday

I have not been able to blog into ANY website nor Yahoo IM for the last four days. Do you know what a nightmare it has been???

Thank God for Skype (it was the only one i could log into, strangely) - or else I'd have a ridiculous phone bill coming my way.

Ok, it's Random Tuesday - a day where i will blog whatever comes to mind. Tomorrow I go back to work. Mixed emotions on this one. On one hand, I dread meeting deadlines again. And i really dislike going to last-minute events or evening functions with a bunch of strangers where I have to smile all night, ask "How do you like Sabah?" five million times and pretend I 'really love' the predictable buffet spread. But on a brighter note, I feel well-rested, miss my workmates and am quite inspired to write again. And I bought a new pair of black heels perfect for the office.

They hung Saddam Hussein. Boo to mankind. He wasn't going to win the Noble Peace Prize but to murder a murderer doesn't make the rest of us any better. And what's with showing the sickening footage over and over on tv? Do i really want to see a dying man's last moments as they place the noose around his neck? We have a long way to go.

I worked on New Year's Eve/New Year's Day. The ministry had a party and we were the organisers. I was one of the masters of ceremony for the night and after a few glasses of Chardonnay, I must say everything went quite well (either the crowd was drunk or I was. Ah well). It was a pleasant way to welcome the New Year but i admit somehow i felt a bit lonely - no points for guessing why.

Moo moo and Blanket are sick. I had to take them to vet two days in a row and tomorrow is their last day for shots. They seem to have some blood parasite infection - doesn't sound pleasant does it? - but their fever's gone down and they're finally eating again. My poor babies.

Tonight I'm having dinner with Haw's parents and some of his sister's friends who are visiting from Melbourne. Gotta make sure the hemlines are down and necklines are up, heh heh. Mental note: no tasteless jokes on religion, politics and ethnicity. Wish me luck.

I spring cleaned my bedroom and car. A task that took a little over three hours. I have SO MANY magazines. Yet i cannot find the heart to throw them out. Especially my US, UK and Australia editions. I threw out a bunch of 'bad vibe' junk though - old photos, love letters, useless gifts from Christmas/birthdays past. A girl can only have so many stuffed toys.

I got a wonderful phone call from an old and dear friend who's back in Malaysia for the hols and is heading back to Europe (where he's been backpacking/working in over the last three years). He leads one of the most fascinating lives I know. More about him later :)

Ok, time to get ready for dinner with The Parents. Conveniently, my boyfriend isn't in town so I'll have to brave this on my own. Baby, if this ain't love, you can slap my ass and call me a monkey's uncle.

Countdown.

What I Learned In 2006:

1. I learned that travelling is one of the greatest things in life and I am blessed that my job brings me to the most amazing places right at my doorstep. Even if I have to deal with leeches down my cleavage.

2. I learned that the biggest obstacle you can face is yourself. I didn't think I could rock climb or trek for five hours uphill and upstream but once I got over the whole, "Oh my god I'm going to die" phase, it wasn't so bad.

3. I learned that my girlfriends are invaluable. Be it a bad day at work, impulsive shopping, unexpected news, your car breaking down and failed relationships, no one stands beside you quite like they do.

4. I learned that my family is the one constant thing in my life that I take for granted.

5. I learned that I'm getting older and there's more to life than hitting the clubs every weekend.

6. I learned the 8-second rule: Everytime someone pisses me off and I'm about to say something I might regret, I count to 8 and I find myself actually calming down and walking away.

7. I learned that people are not what they seem, even if you think you've known them for years.

8. Hence, I learned that he never really loved me anyway.

9. I learned that high heels can make you feel fabulous...But for only 2 hours. After that, you'd better have a good pair of Nike trainers on standby

10. I learned I'm never going to be skinny and I'll always love food. So there.

11. I learned that having your heart broken hurts like hell. And having it broken over and over in a span of 12 months is even worse.

12. But I also learned that the only way you'll recognise and appreciate the good is to experience the bad.

13. I learned that no matter how i try, I cannot hate Christmas.

14. I learned that long distance relationships are difficult, expensive and frustrating. But with the right person, distance is irrelevant.

15. I learned that one year can crawl painstakingly slowly or zoom by ridiculously fast: It just depends on your frame of mind.

The past year has been a circus of sorts.It only gets better from here. Watch this space.

Tis the season. So they say.

Six days to Christmas. This year, I wanted to hate Christmas. I wanted to scoff at the warm wishes and be annoyed at the repetitive Christmas carols. I wanted to burn every over-decorated Christmas tree that crossed my path and tell Santa to stuff something else besides someone's stocking.

Bah humbug.

But i could not. I CANNOT. I'm a schmuck for Christmas and I always will be. Sigh. Yes, I am disappointed I won't be spending it with Haw but I suppose 'punishing' Christmas won't solve anything. It will be less than merry given the circumstances though. I'll get a little nostalgic, cry a bit and continue to shake the presents underneath the tree hoping there's something else besides a flouroscent green photo frame that has 'I is wishing you the happy day of your life' emblazoned across it. That said...Stay tuned for my wish-list!

I finished my Christmas shopping too. It's all about strategy and time management (of course it helps I'm on leave). Now to wrap them. Not exactly my forte.

Christmas can be such hard work.

"You give me something
That makes me scared alright
This could be nothing
But i'm willing to give it a try."
- The very earnest James Morrison. Currently playing endlessly in my head.

Friday. Why-day.

My annual leave officially started yesterday (after the whole Wednesday fiasco - see previosu entry). BUT as luck would have it, I had to swing by the office, sign some documents and head to my printer's place. So technically...I was working. Again. Bloody hell.

Oh oh oh and guess what? I went into the office today. Because there's an urgent meeting that I must attend. My boss sheepishly said, "So sorry to have to call you in." Yeah, I bet you're sorry. Had to tell the admin to withdraw my half day leave today.

Tell me again why I bothered taking my annual leave?

*****

That aside...There have been good bits to my so-called time off.

1. I did my hair! Got some choppy layers, got my hair coloured with funky highlights.

2. Went shopping. Again. Bought two tops, Christmas pressies, more toiletries. Stay tuned.

3. Brought my parents out for seafood - i love butter prawns!

4. My siblings and I presented my dad and mum their early Xmas present: A spanking new Honda CRV! We tied the car with a huge red ribbon and I drove up the house honking the horn. I'll never forget the look on my dad's face. CRV: Expensive. Look on dad's face: Priceless.

5. Had dinner at my sister's place - mainly to babysit my 3-year old niece, Leilana, while her parents and sisters are out saving a whale in one of the nearby islands (I know how unbelievable that sounds but I kid you not). I played 'indoor soccer' with Leilana and after one minute, could not keep up with her energy level. This means two things: 1) I am aging. 2) I am so out of shape.

The weekend beckons. I haven't chatted with Haw for a couple of days now (the longest record so far!) because he's been busy with his semester end project. I have a party to plan for small group of friends. Also on my schedule is that long-awaited trip to the spa, more Christmas shopping and the arrival of my cousin Patrick from Manila. More stories on the adventures of the Fridaycat-kind...

I don't need this.

Today reminded me why I should start looking for another job.

I should be on leave tomorrow. But no. They need me to do some stuff. So i'm coming back in. This is what happens when they realise you're not really going anywhere while you're on leave so, hey, why don't you come into work?

WTF.

Selfish bastards. I could almost see them jumping for joy when they found out my visa was rejected and I was stuck in KK. My boss actually asked, "So you're still taking your leave?"
Dumbass. Hell yeah i am.

I am so angry. My whole holiday plan was ruined...Couldn't they cut me some slack and leave me alone? Oh and to top it off...I found out that the Board of Directors is not happy with the monthly publication. Stale. Boring. Bad photos.

I don't need this right now. Truly.

When in distress...

SHOP!

I'm on an official mission to cheer myself up. And that can only mean one thing: Retail therapy. Ah yes, shopping malls, paper bags, shoes, handbags,unnecessary items from Watson's...I love 'em all.

Saturday was a 'me me me' day. I actually arrived at the shopping mall before the shops opened, haha. Talk about kiasu. I started with Watson's. My little piece of heaven. Even shopping for toothpaste brings such joy ("Extra mint or regular? Ah decisions..."). I enjoyed a solo lunch at the overpriced Kenny Roger's Roasters, where i took my damn sweet time because today was all about me. I decided to catch a movie, Happy Feet, at 12:30pm. The guy at the ticket counter asked me twice, "One ticket?One?" No, I think i'll buy another ticket for my personality. Yes la, bozo, ONE. It was a happy movie and i actually laughed out loud a few times. I did glance at the empty seat beside me once in a while but quickly told myself not to go there.

The movie was followed by more shopping (so many shoes, so little time!) and a trip to the hair salon. All in all, I spent 9 hours in the shopping mall. My record still stands at 12 hours though. This week's mission: To traipse 2 more shopping malls at my own leisurely pace. I love my credit card. I love that I have been so clever with my savings (actually since my Canadian trip isn't happening, it just means the money I saved for it is going to the Melissa Shopping Fund). I love being so indulgent and materialistic. I'm thinking of hitting the spa this weekend. I could use a hot stone massage and a body scrub.

On another note, we celebrated Mia's birthday last week. A small and cozy affair with the chicas:

My gorgeous cousin. I love you but I hate being older than you! (hey seven months can make quite a difference ok...)

I'm at work today, just settling some stuff before I officially go on leave this Wednesday. Can't wait.

"Cuz we are living in a material world...

And I am ma-material girl."

-Madonna singing my song.

Sleep won't come.

It's Friday morning. Just after midnight. I should be sleeping but I can't bring myself to hit the sack.

Because come sunrise, I'm going to eventually open my eyes and stare at the winter coat hanging in my closet. And my neatly folded sweaters serve to silently mock my plans of having a white Christmas. My stupid purple suitcase sits in the corner.

I've been trying so hard all day to keep a smile on my face, telling everyone, "Ah it's ok. So my plans didn't work out this time. It's cool." The fact of the matter is, it's not cool. I'm disappointed as hell. I wanted to go on a holiday. I wanted to get on that damn plane, fly 16 hours, be jet-lagged and fall asleep in his arms. I wanted to wake up on Christmas morning and see the snow fall outside my window.

Instead I'm going to spend the next few weeks wishing I was anywhere but here.

Lest We Forget.

In 1945, over 1000 prisoners of war (POWs - mainly Australians and British servicemen) were forced to march some 250 km, from Sandakan to Ranau. The Japanese were 'transferring' them to Jesselton to become coolie labourers but they ended up in Ranau due to Allied air activity on the West Coast (where Jesselton/Kota Kinabalu is). There were three groups of POWS who were on the Sandakan-Ranau Death March - the first group being the fittest, the last being the least. Of the 1000-over POWs, only 6 survived. The others died of various reasons: disease, malnutrition, fatigue or killed by the Japanese for being weak or for attempting escape. The march was a horrible ordeal: barely any food, little water and some men only had the clothes on their back and walked barefeet. Death was considered a gentle way out.

Last weekend, my colleagues and I had the opportunity to experience what was considered the toughest route of the infamous Sandakan Death March, namely Taviu Hill in Telupid. I was very familiar with the story of the Sandakan Death March, having organised/attended countless events & memorials in honour of the POWs who died, but to fully appreciate and understand the suffering they went through, I decided to actually retrace the route of the unfortunate soldiers.

Our journey took us from KK to Ranau, where our first stop was the Kundasang War Memorial. We were shown a 15-minute video on the Sandakan Death March, followed by a quick tour of the memorial.

Outside the Memorial, with a fantastic backdrop of the mountain.

Our journey continued to Telupid, where we would make several stops to visit the various POW routes. We finally reached this one:

We stood on the bridge. Sprawling valleys and hills, dense foliage. Simply amazing. Until we found out that this was going to be our exact hiking location. Yikes.

So we checked into our resthouse, had a good night's rest and the next morning, were rearing to go. "Please please please let a bus come along..."

The first hour and a 10 minutes was a relatively easy walk through a plantation. It was a little muddy but nothing we couldn't handle.

"See? Piece of cake. la la la..."

The next bit proved to be a bit more tricky. We had to hike some hour and a half along a river. More like IN the river, which was pretty much a rocky stream and didn't go too deep. It was nice and shady and I was often tempted to just dunk my whole body in the river. According to our guide Tham Yau Kong (www.thamyaukong.com) , many POWs died in this area. A chilling thought but surprisingly it was very calm and peaceful

This is me happy to see the other walkers resting at a pit stop. Yay, i can sit down for a while!Climbing over fallen trees, balancing on slippery rocks and ducking through branches slowed us down a lot.

I am a jungle trekker, hear me roar! Flanked by Walter (left) who was my walking buddy from beginning to end. So nice of him to wait for me, heh heh. The other Mel (right) who was waaaaay in front. Hmph, kawan konon.

The last bit is up up up...All the way up Taviu Hill. I could see why this was the toughest bit. Slippery slopes, narrow paths and leeches made in a complete nightmare. Imagine the POWs who had to go through this without food,water and shoes. I was exhausted beyond belief but everytime i wanted to give up,I thought of the men who died right here and how they struggled with each step. It kept me going. Tham explained that this hill was where the Japanese would shoot the weak and ailing soldiers and just roll their bodies down the hill.

Smiling through the sore muscles and leech-free! (ok sort of. One of the buggers still managed to crawl into my shoe). Five and a half hours later, I complete the Death March route. That's Rinto. Saja wanna be in the photo.

Group photo outside Sabah Tea Garden. Everyone is extremely tired at this point. But everyone left not regretting a single drop of blood, sweat or tear shed throughout the experience. At the risk of sounding cliched...It was a life-changing experience.

I still hate leeches though.

Check out http://www.sandakan-deathmarch.com/ga01.php for more comments on the Sandakan Death March experience.

Plan B

I spent the weekend jungle-trekking for 5 hours but i'll blog about that later.

I dunno how much longer I can do this. The chances get bleaker and bleaker and I'm starting to give in to the fact I won't be spending Christmas and the New Year with my other half who is on the other side of the world.

I am upset. Plain and simple. But like a captain of a sinking ship, instead of going "Oh woe is me!" and going down with my vessel without a fight, least I can do is look for a rescue boat or a life vest right? So it's time for Plan B. I'm not even gonna imagine how much money I'm gonna spend on Plan B but hey, i've come this far and we'll see what happens.

You know what is most tiring in this whole ordeal? The yo-yo emotions. One moment everything seems to go as planned and five hours later, you get the rug pulled from under your feet. And then tomorrow, you get another phone call to tell you,"Wait, I think we might have this sorted out..." And the day after, "Looks like the embassy still needs more documents..."

So what's a girl to do? Do I forget about my whole trip? I have three weeks of annual leave approved but since I'm not going anywhere, should I just come back to the office?

This Friday, I should be on a plane on the way to spend a white Christmas with my Cubby. Instead, I will most likely wake up and make my way to the office.

I try to listen to everyone's advise on 'looking on the bright side...' or 'He'll be back soon' etc. But I don't think anyone really understands that no matter how much positive thinking I try to incorporate into my life right now, it doesn't take away the dissapointment and frustration I feel.Can you really expect me to throw my hands in the air and say, "Aww shucks, that's just too bad. But on the bright side, the sun is still shining." Bollocks. And you know it.

"If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad.
If it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad?"
-Sheryl Crow crowing on my mp3 player.