Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Kaka: *words not necessary*
Ballack: Dorky is cute. In a big German way.
And for the boys:
Things you never thought you'd say: "Check out the balls on that chick!"
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Let me explain. I was listening to the radio the other day and the DJs were talking about Shakira (whose hips don't lie, apparently). She and her boyfriend/fiance/significant other - who happens to be the son of the former Venezuelan President or something - have been dating since 1998. So in 2000 (or was it 2001) they decided to get engaged. Fast forward 6 (or 5) years later, she's become an international hip-shaking, body-writhing, funny-sounding, award-winning Latina but minus the ring. So apparently she's getting a bit restless with Mr. Shakira for not wanting to set a date yet. Soooo since she's been put 'on hold' indefinitely, she's decided to wiggle her hips another way and most recently in the direction of Robbie Williams. Interestingly, her fiance finally saw the red flags and sent his 'people' (i dunno who they mean here: aunties and uncles? homies? hitmen?) to LA to check on his chica and Mr. Williams. Shakira claims nothing was going on and they were only 'hanging out'.
Anyway, the whole story led to one of the DJs making a rather interesting statement: "Well, put it this way, if you leave good food on the table too long, someone else is gonna eat it."
How very poignant. I loved it! Somewhere along the Sutera Harbour highway, the revelation hit me hard. The conversation had callers ringing up the station with their own take on how long a couple should date before finally settling down. 1 to 3 years, said one guy and to quote him, "If after three years you haven't decided...Why waste each other's time?" Another school of thought brought up was the belief that couples who courted for a shorter period of time had longer-lasting marriages compared to those who have been dating for five million years. "Think about it," said the DJ, "if you've been living together for five or six years, and you know each other's bathroom habits, annoying mannerisms and what not, what else is there left to discover once you get married?" In the words of BB King, the thrill is gone.
But back to the cheese. If good food is all the rage, then I definitely want to be a piece of cheese. Check out buffet spreads. You got the salads (too healthy), desserts (too fattening), the meat (no go for vegetarians)...But the cheese! Ah the cheese. You can almost see the light beaming down from the sky when you see the cheese. Feta, Brie, Cottage all lined up waiting to be slathered on your cracker and bread. Or for the true cheese connoisseur, enjoyed plain with the perfect wine. Salads wilt, meat goes bad but cheese...Only gets better with age. And what i love about cheese is that even when there's a little mould action going on, it's 'character'. Plus, all you have to do is slice the affected area off and voila! fresh cheese on the inside all over again. Can't go wrong with cheese.
I think I'd love to be a generous serving of Blue cheese:
When you dig into Blue, you may find a creamy, blue-veined interior - or a crumbly, blue-veined interior - depending on its age. The fact is every Blue you try will have its own charming quirks - slight variations in its peppery flavor, texture, or artful pattern of veins that will make it your new true love. Both Blue's texture and tangy, ripe flavor intensify as it ripens. Scrumptious on salads or served with pears, raisins, figs, walnuts and fruit or nut breads, Blue is guaranteed to add some kick to any meal.- www.ilovecheese.com
I am SO Blue cheese. So heck, I don't care how long I'm left on the table because seriously, who can resist good cheese? Men, on the other hand, should be like wine: Improves with age (my cut-off age is anyone old enough to be an older family member ie: dad, grandad, uncle etc. thankyouverymuch) And as you all may know, nothing goes better with cheese than wine.
I am so the genius, no?
I want to be a piece of cheese. Have you seen my wine?
"I'm gonna try anything to just feel better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything to just feel better"
-Steven Tyler and Santana, Just Feel Better. A song for everyone these days.
Monday, June 19, 2006
She choked, just a little, and felt her throat tighten. Her pulse raced and she could hear her heart pounding. Her palms turned sweaty and her heart increased its pace. It was no longer pounding; it was slamming against her ribcage so hard, she was certain HE could hear it.
"The feeling has changed. It's not the same anymore..." he continued, twisting the knife deeper into her open wound as slowly as he could. As painfully as possible. Hell, he was doing a wonderful job. She still hadn't found the words at the point. She suddenly had the urge to break into song, just to kill the silence. Just to get some words -any words- out of her numb mouth. "You will find another guy. Someone who can make you happy." He couldn't seem to twist the knife deep enough. Her happiness was the least of his concerns, she knew. He just wanted out. Away from her, from this vile, unlovable, loathesome creature before him. His eyes, glassy and blank, glanced at her. He opened his mouth again.
"Don't. Please, don't." She almost gurgled the words. He cast his eyes downwards and let the uncomfortable silence take over. The slamming of her heart was deafening, her breath quickened and tiny, bright spots started to blind her already fading vision. So, she thought to herself, this is what it feels like. It will pass, it will pass...she whispered in her head.
Months went by and things changed. Her heart slammed now and then. Other days, it sat still. The vile, unlovable, loathesome creature. No wonder.
"I must admit...I love you less."
Thursday, June 15, 2006
And no, that's not the newest STD in town. Empat tahun...Hanya sekali...Kita main bola di sana Germany...(sung to the tune of the Hari Raya jingle). Anyway, the World Cup is here and while thousands, nay, millions of office workers have turned into zombies and are surviving on their 15th cup of coffee for the morning, it never fails to amaze how the World Cup seizes the world by its loins every four years.
Men are at the mercy of Astro and Yo is still in love with 500-year old Klinsmann. My household is at a standstill at 9pm every night and even if our rooftop gets ripped off during a freak hurricane, my parents would remain glued to the sofa and keep praying England scores. I enjoy football, don't get me wrong, but I do believe life goes on even if Brazil/England/Kepulauan Micronesia doesn't win the World Cup this year. Here's my take on the World Cup:
What i love about it:
1. The football-related ads on TV/Radio
2. The exhiliration when your team of choice scores
3.The 'semangat perpaduan' that draws everyone together.
4. The creative ,er,costumes worn by fans.
5. My parents not batting an eyelash even when I come home at 2am
What i hate about it:
1. The football-related ads on TV/Radio (overdose ok)
2. The TV hijacked from 9pm onwards until the Final match eons from now.
3. You bring your guy friends clubbing and they spend the night watching the match on a teeny TV set in the corner of the club.
4. Overpriced World Cup merchandise. Seriously, I can dye my favourite t-shirt orange, paint the number 8 on it and sell it on the street for no less than RM150. They wouldn't even notice the 'Whirld Kap' scribbled across the chest.
5. The Australian team.
And what's all this 'Ladies, give your man a break, it's the World Cup' crap I keep hearing everywhere? Hello, in case you haven't noticed, some of us women are REJOICING it's the World Cup. First of all, please don't be a sexist pig and think football is only enjoyed by men. Women enjoy it too. (I wanted to post photographic evidence as to why this is so but again, Blogger is being a beeyatch).
Seriously though, I have female friends who are avid football fans and I bet they could explain what an offside is much better than a man (We ARE the more articulate species after all). On another note, the World Cup also means you won't have your nosy soccer-loving man bothering you as much. During the World Cup, every night is LADIES NIGHT! Women everywhere are enjoying uninterrupted shopping sprees (the guys won't even notice their credit cards missing, muahaha), remodeling their kitchens without having their husbands whining about the tiles costing too much and discovering that sometimes all you need is the iGallop *wink* So what if he only crawls into bed at 3am? More bed space for you! And the TV remote is suddenly as sacred as the Holy Grail so ladies, imagine the bargaining power you have when you hold his baby hostage. He'll spin straw into gold if you'll just let him finish the South Korea game.
"I'll do anything for you, baby, I promise."
And be sure to hold him to that. Big time. Enjoy the game!
Monday, June 12, 2006
Now it LOOKS harmless enough but not until I actually saw what this baby does. Granted, the first time I saw it in action, it involved what may have been a six-year-old girl who thought she was riding a pony. It looked wrong on so many levels. Let me explain why. The Osim iGallop is actually designed to "help you shape and tone your tummy, hips, seat and thighs. Best of all, iGallop™ is fun to ride! The secret is in its zero-impact, tri-axial riding action. Your body automatically responds to its multidirectional movements to maintain balance. This constant balancing by your body engages certain muscle groups, and may help improve balance, coordination and posture."
Ooh and get this...It comes in three speeds: Trot, Gallop and Race. And several colours too. Boys, if you wanna make your women really happy, forget the diamonds, iPods and Gucci shoes. A REAL man would rush to the nearest Osim store and grab one of these beauties. It'll keep your woman 'busy' for hours and is perfect in light of the World Cup season. You get to watch football and the missus stays ooooh-so-happy. And ladies, who needs a man when you have an iGallop?
In layman's terms, you straddle (note that I did not use the word 'sit on') a chair, hang on to its tiny handles while the chair obscenely rotates and vibrates, swinging you in several directions.
It disturbed me quite a bit that children were pushing each other off the chair to have a go. And parents watched in fascination! First of all, it's NOT a toy. Second, it looks plain obscene. Fortunately, the salesgirls were smart enough not to hop on and give eager customers a demonstration on how to use it. Unfortunately, Sel told me that she actually saw a pretty mama and her teenage daughter give the iGallop a go in public (cue glazed looks of passers by and men rendered speechless). Talk about a free show.
iWant. (seriously, all sexual connotations aside...It looks fun. In the privacy of your home of course).
*not suitable for children below the ages of...Well, all children to be exact. Hazardous to male genitalia, not recommended for men.
Thursday, June 08, 2006
1) Name someone with the same birthday as you.
Ho Soong Leng from primary school. I'm amazed I still remember this.
2) where was your first date?
I can't recall but I'm pretty sure it involved other friends. I never do a 'one on one' date thing when I first start liking someone. I find it awkward. I like natural progression where at first two people just 'hang out' and then BAM! You're on a date.
3) Have you ever seriously vandalised someone else's property?
4) Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?
Does my brother count? If so, yes, all the time.
5) Have you ever sang in front of a large number of people?
Yep. School choir, kindergarten (I sang Do Re Mi). Er...karaoke?
6) What is the first thing you notice about the opposite or same sex?
Looks - kinda hard not to. And then the way he/she talks.
7) What do you usually order from starbucks?
I don't drink coffee. So some fruity tea or anything chocolatey.
8) What is your biggest mistake?
Giving my all and not holding back. I should have known better.
9) Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?
Refer to the above. I have no one to blame but myself so...Yes.
10 ) Say something totally random about you.
I feel like having sushi.
11) Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Yes, Coco Lee. Wha...?
12) Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?
Yes. It makes me forget about grown-up realities for a while.
13) Did you have braces?
14) Are you comfortable with your height?
After 27 years, I better be. I could be taller though.
15) What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex has said to you?
I don't care much for words these days. Talk is cheap. I'll know it when he shows it.
16) When do you know it's love?
I don't know anymore. I'm just gonna marry for money, haha.
17) Do you speak any other languages?
Malay. Sexual references in Cantonese (haha). A bit of Tagalog. And I'm trying to pick up Mandarin - failing miserably (who needs four tones in one language?)
18) Have you ever been to a tanning salon?
19) What magazines do you read?
Women's magazines, the usual: Cleo, Cosmo,Marie Claire etc. Travel & Leisure. Time. Personal Money (don't laugh, I actually have a subscription).
20) Have you ridden in a limo?
21) Has anyone you were really close with passed away?
22) Do you watch mtv?
How else would I be able to imitate Britney/Mariah/Shakira?
23) What's something that really annoys you?
Negative people in the workplace. It's so demoralizing. My personal life is shitty as it is, can we keep the office a happy place please?
24) What's something you really like?
When everything is bringing you down and life is one big 'ugh', I like that certain something that can still make me smile. It can be my cat climbing up my lap, my niece saying "Hi Tita!" or my friends telling a stupid joke that only we understand :)
25) Do you like michael jackson?
He's got good stuff, weird habits. I'm indifferent.
26) Can you dance?
Hell yeah, haha!
27) What's the latest you have ever stayed up?
I came home from clubbing at 6am once in KL. That would be it.
28) Have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die?
29) Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?
30) What do you wish for?
World peace (really ba). More money so i can travel. And all the happiness in the world for the people I care about. Oh, and to live happily ever after.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
I watched 'The Omen' on the day it opened (June 6 of course). I wanted to post a few photos of the the kid who plays Damien (Seamus something-something) but blogger is still being an ass about it so let me just explain by saying the kid is C.R.E.E.P.Y.
But seriously, you didn't expect the Antichrist to have curly blond hair and bounce to Barney songs, did you? If you watched the original, you'll know the details. The remake didn't run away much from the original plot, except that it's set in 2006 (06.06.06. Duh). Mommy is Julia Stiles (in her first mummy role, if I'm not mistaken) and she's not half bad. When she starts fearing her son, you actually feel like reaching into the screen and shaking her husband to his senses, "LISTEN TO HER YOU DUMBASS!" Few gory scenes - my favourite being the one where the priest dies with a spear right through his heart and shards of glass decorating him like candles on a cake. Creative.
Should I give the plot away? Ok, like this lah: I won't give it COMPLETELY away but I will advise you to remember that the original Omen movie was followed by Omen Part 2,3 and 4. When people left the cinema last night whining about a bad ending, I wanted to yell, "But there's MORE! Just you wait!"
Of course, I didn't for fear of looking deranged.
Not as scary as I would've liked it to be (coming from me, that's ironic) and there were few jump-out-of-your-seat scenes. I must give an honourable mention to Mia Farrow for playing the creepiest nanny in the history of film. No wait...In the history of time would be more befitting. (She looks young for her age though...Does anyone know if she's done surgery?). If anything, the movie has a few lessons:
1. If a suspicious looking priest keeps showing up reciting biblical poems and saying, "You and I will die!", please take him seriously.
2. Rottweilers are synonymous with the devil. But i still think they're cute.
3. If you have travelled from London to the Vatican to the farthest regions of Jerusalem and back to London, lost a traveling companion, stared death in its eyes and have TWO Rottweilers (yes they keep showing up) try to chew your arm off...PLEASE believe that all this hard work and bad luck must mean your son is indeed the Antichrist.
4. Learn Italian (it sounds sexy)
5. Marry a diplomat - you get to travel.
6.Don't ever switch babies in the hospital.
7. Don't ever switch babies in the hospital and lie to your wife about it. You're talking about a species that can differentiate low-fat milk from superfat milk just by scent.
8. If you live in a house nearly four storeys high, you might wanna think twice before climbing on the highest railing to water your plants.
9. Nannies without proper portfolios work for the devil.
10. 666 is the sign of the devil. Not 999 - that's the ambulance emergency line.
Which reminds me, another thing that annoyed me during the movie was a bunch of girls sitting behind my seat:
(scene shows father trying to search for the 666 sign on Damien's scalp)
Girl 1: Nah...see...got number on his kepala!
Girl 2: 69! It's a 69! He's the Antichrist!
Girl 3: eh...not 69 la. 66.
Girl 1: 69 bah...See properly.
Girl 3: No! 66!
Girl 2: Wrong la. It's 999.
Apparently, Damien is either the God Of Porn or Ambulance Line Spawn.
The verdict: Watch it because it's a classic but it's not exactly going to win any Oscars.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Ok maybe not. But it felt like it. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind trips to Sandakan and Tawau. Sandakan has great wildlife and historical sites and Tawau is the gateway to my island haven. But to be brutally honest...There really ain't much to shout about when it comes to the town itself. No offense to fellow Sandakanians and Tawaulites (ok I made those up but it seems to sound fine), but I really was bored out of my mind.
My colleagues and I were there with the Dama Orchestra, who were performing in the abovementioned towns. My company is the official organiser of the event so naturally, we had to go on the road with them during their time in Sabah. On the upside, the Dama people are wonderful to work with. Despite their award-winning status and having performed around the world, they are the most down-to-earth performers I have ever met. No attitude, no airs, no diva demands. They are professional, talented and above all, just really nice people. Will blog photos later.
Anyway, back to my trip. It was five days and four nights of socialising, eating, sleeping and -when we weren't working at the event - wondering how to kill time. Oh and we gambled a bit. And for the first time, I actually won! Not much but enough to buy lunch. And at a card game too (cho tai ti to be exact). I suck at card games. On another note, the hotel in tawau which was our humble abode for two nights...was haunted. Maybe i should say IS haunted. I didn't SEE anything (thank god or i'd be in therapy right now). For those who don't know me yet, I am the Queen of Chicken Shit. Anyway, we had just checked in and i wanted to squeeze in a nap. Half an hour into deep slumber, someone starts whispering in my ear.
I kid you not.
Strangely, I didn't freak out immediately because I thought it was my roomie talking to me. But she was sound asleep too. Okaaay. panicpanicpanicpanicpanic. Close eyes. Think happy thoughts. I went back to sleep, thank goodness, but had nightmares over and over. The next morning, after a total of three hours of sleep, i tried to forget about it. Even when the curtains moved by themselves (and coveniently my roomie was showering), I simply turned the TV volume up. You cannot imagine how freaked out I was. Needless to say, the whole hotel gave me the spooks and I did not have much sleep during my stay there. Overactive imagination? Perhaps. But I've stayed in countless hotels (alone at some) and without a paranormal problem. But the minute I stepped into the room...I just knew. I know that sounds vague but sometimes, when you get goosebumps for no reason, it's usually for a reason.
When the plane landed in KK, I nearly broke into applause. After I hugged my cats, I went straight to bed, sniffed my lovely sheets and went to sleep. The only thing haunting me was the thought of dragging myself back to the office in the morning.
And i missed YOU. Did you miss me? :)